Carnage Road

More people need to see this flick. Straight up. It is honestly the worst movie I have ever seen. I mean, I know kids in high school putting out better stuff than this. Please vote this in as number one. If you've seen it, then you can testify; horrible. Plain and simple. This is the type of film that makes Ed Wood's work look like Scorsese! The fact that I found this film by chance all the better. The only thing that sucks is that I threw it in the frigging dumpster right after I watched it. It was that bad.

Because looking back. I shouldn't have tossed it. I wish I could've saved this little anti-gem. Such an officious item should be cared for much better than that. I tell you just see it and tell me, honestly that you have seen anything worse. This thing could make Crossover look like Hoosiers. Sorry about all the metaphors, but to give a dissertation on this film would be pointless. It couldn't even use the simple, basic, run of the mill formula BS that has been used in horror flicks for aeon's now. How any producer could actually screen this and say; "Wow fellas this is an awesome movie. Lets actually try to sell this turd!" Come on! Crossover, Anne Beans and Franks Be Real. Whatever! You ain't got nothing on this!!

I must say that I hate these cheaply shot direct to video turds. They are most often found on the DVD multi-packs with 3 other crappy movies from the same company. On one hand I respect the little guys trying to make fun horror movies. I just wish they weren't so bad. This one is particularly awful. The acting, especially by the lead male, is ham at its worst. It is clear that the actors are given very little to work with, often asked to draw scenes out well beyond their logical conclusion. The premise of "quiltface" lacks any imagination at all, and we are given no reason to feel suspense, let alone horror. I'm not even sure why I am reviewing this as a normal movie. It plays like a sub-par film school project, and should be treated as such.

This movie is so bad. One thing is this movie called "Carnage: Legend of Quiltface" or is it "Carnage Road". If you look closely. You will see that for some small changes it's a copy of "Camp Blood". Which stinks by itself. Not to mention the rotten ending. A horror doesn't have to have a bad ending just to be a horror movie. It's jsut sloppy writing, just to have a mess of sequels. Here's a hint. If it's made by "Brain Damage Films" then I pass if I were you.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being best)

I give "CARNGAE ROAD"

-100 STARS

I bought this movie at a local video store for a measly 3 bucks. I thought it would be hilarious, I had seen the trailer for it on the Terror Toons tape I recently rented, and I was starting to get into Brain Damage Film's trashy movies. Well, this movie isn't even really bad in a funny way, it is just...bad. Some of the kills are funny, because they look so fake. I don't know what they used for blood in this movie but it looks like red colored water. Not even think, just red water. And the main guy screams like a girl, starts off hysterical but gets old really quick. Also, Quiltface is hilarious...you can see where his mask ends, that is classic. Also, the guy who takes them over to the desert or whatever and warns them about the "Legend of Quiltface" is also hilarious. What a moron. And quiltface, leatherface? See a connection? Only watch if you are a really big sucker for bad movies with guys who scream like a 4 year old who wants to buy a toy bunny.

I was sitting with the director and he called this work his best movie. That's a statement I don't actually agree with, HELLINGER is a much better work. This one has much more camp value thanks to the scripting assistance of the Polonia Brothers. Fans of Micro-budger slashers take note, CARNAGE ROAD is one of the better slasher-with-a-gimmick efforts to come along recently.