- Gorilla Monsoon: [talking about Macho Mans opponent Hulk Hogan] Hulk is his name.
- Jesse Ventura: Lust is his name.
- Gorilla Monsoon: You're just jealous.
- Rick Rude: What I'd like to have right now is for all you high-rollin' Atlantic City sweathogs, keep the noise down while I take my robe off and give the ladies a good look at the sexiest man alive.
- Brother Love: You know, Brother Morton, I love you. But you see, that doesn't mean that I like you.
- Morton Downey Jr.: Let me tell you, Brother Love. Any guy who wears a skirt, I don't want to love me.
- Jesse Ventura: Quit playing favorites. I used to like to announce with you Gorilla, your starting to get worse than MacMahon.
- Gorilla Monsoon: I am?
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: [to Brother Love] Tell me something.
- [pats Brother Loves stomach]
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: Have you ever heard of the Oprah Winfrey diet?
- Brother Love: Well, I...
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: [cutting off Brother Love] I didn't want to know that bad.
- Jesse Ventura: [Bushwackers have stolen Jimmy Harts coat] Look, they got poor Jimmy's coat and they will eat it. They didn't get enough to eat at brunch.
- Jesse Ventura: [Macho Man has taken off his tape from his wrist and chokes Hulk with it] That's a Jesse The Body move right there.
- Gorilla Monsoon: [referring to Bobby "the brain" Heenan] Speaking of foreign objects, there's one there with blonde hair and a blue jacket!
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: Tell me. If you are a real Scotsman, then
- [reaches for Brother Love's kilt]
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: you don't got nothin' under that kilt there, do you? Huh? No, I mean it! If you are a real Scotsman, there's nothing under there.
- Brother Love: Well, I...
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: Excuse me, I should rephrase that. I don't mean he hasn't got anything under the kilt, I should say you're not wearing anything. We all know you ain't got nothin' under there!
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: Call it a Kilt Mr. Downey, Call It a Kilt.
- Morton Downey Jr.: K-I-L-L-E-D?
- Rowdy Roddy Piper: Sorry Folks, for those who didn't get it, That was K-I-L-L-E-D as in Killed.
- Hulk Hogan: Watcha gonna do? When the 24 inch pythons and Hulkamania destroy you!
- [poses into camera]
- The Red Rooster: I can't wait to get my Rooster claws on The Weasel and it will be another day in the barn yard.
- [cackles like a chicken]
- Gorilla Monsoon: Look at Heenan! Grabs the leg of The Warrior, he's holding on!
- [ref counts to 3]
- Jesse Ventura: He did it, he did it, Monsoon!
- Gorilla Monsoon: Who's Warlord going to start with?
- Jesse Ventura: Ax!
- Gorilla Monsoon: Ax!
- Gorilla Monsoon: The two power houses!
- Jesse Ventura: Well, they're all power houses Gorilla!
- Jesse Ventura: It's hard to tell from one to the other!
- Gorilla Monsoon: However Fuji does not resemble that remark!
- Howard Finkel: [Hulk Hogan has just defeated Macho Man] The Winner and new World Wrestling Federation heavyweight champion Hulk Hogan.