- [to a Dalek, as the Master has fallen into the sewers AGAIN]
- The 9th Doctor: Don't worry, I believe he knows the way out.
- The 9th Doctor: They could communicate only by precisely modulated gastric emissions.
- Emma, The Assistant: Oh no! Planet of the Bottom Burpers! So what happened to them?
- The 9th Doctor: They discovered fire.
- The 9th Doctor: Without even knowing I was looking, I have found a woman I love. A woman more fascinating than all my travels through time and space. A girl more exciting than an escape up a ventilation shaft. A lover more thrilling than an army of cybernetic slugs.
- [they kiss passionately]
- The (Quite Handsome) 10th Doctor: And, uh, you're my fiancée?
- Emma, The Assistant: So you remember me then?
- The (Quite Handsome) 10th Doctor: How could I possibly forget the only time-traveling companion I've ever had?
- Emma, The Assistant: You've had lots of companions.
- The (Quite Handsome) 10th Doctor: The only time-traveling companion I've ever... had.
- The 17th Master: Say hello to the Spikes of Doom!
- [the wall behind the Doctor and Emma turns around. When it turns back they are sitting on a couch]
- The 9th Doctor: Say hello to the Sofa of Reasonable Comfort.
- [the Master has emerged from the sewers accompanied by Daleks]
- The 17th Master: Observe, Doctor. I am no longer merely a Time Lord. My body has been augmented by superior Dalek technology!
- [he pulls of his right hand and reveals that it has been replaced by a Dalek suction cup]
- Emma, The Assistant: So what can you do with that, then?
- The 17th Master: [realises he doesn't know] What?
- Emma, The Assistant: You don't know, do you?
- The 9th Doctor: I have grown weary of all the evil in the cosmos. All the cruelty, all the suffering, all those endless gravel quarries.
- The 17th Master: This zectronic energy emitter will now not only explode it will implode! We're doomed!
- The 9th Doctor: [tied up on a Dalek's chair] I can communicate with the Master using carefully controlled breaking of wind.
- The 9th Doctor: And so of course I knew that you would travel back in time to a further point in time to bribe the Architect first, so I traveled back to an even further point in time to bribe the Architect first.