L'apocalypse

I only made managed to watch about 45 minutes of this badly acted nonsense before I fell asleep (it was that gripping!) so I missed the last 30 minutes.. what a pity!

'Doomsdayer' is clearly a James Bond wannabe even copying the 'Action' sequence of the latter that occurs before the Main titles,

The plot is totally irrelevant but here goes - A international Terrorist group headed by Max Gast (why are all bad guys called Max?) whose played by Udo Kier clearly slumming it. Max has in his possession a deadly weapon called the 'Doomsdayer' (what a crappy name) which can trigger a meltdown in every nuclear power plant on Earth, so James Bond Wannabe Jack Logan played by Beefcake Joe Lara is called in to save the day.

The scene where Max (Udo) kills all his 'people' with glasses of poisoned wine is truly hilarious..

Brigette Nielsen....Yes that Brigette Nielsen looks like hell as if she's been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and the ghastly make-up she's plastered with has made her look as if she has what appears to be a moustache, and her acting makes Steven Seagal look like Laurence Olivier.... dear god she's terrible.

What about the 'bond' type girl in this!!!! ...dear god.... what a sight!... Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) she is not.

I've always liked B Movie veteran Udo Kier, I've liked him ever since I saw Andy Warhol's Dracula & Frankenstein from the 1970's, and he is by far the best actor in this garbage, but this is even below him.

I saw this movie right after I saw 'Megalodon' (2002) (Read review) I am a glutton for punishment obviously and the only good thing I can say about this film is that is was the better of the two.

There is a fair bit of action in this which raises my vote from 2 to 3 but everyone in this takes it all too seriously as if they're making a film to compete against James Bond, I'm afraid this is another STV release which Steven Seagal even now would turn down.

*1/2 out of *****

Keeping it short, I've seen worse movies but I've also seen much better ones. It's kind of a by the numbers low-budget pseudo-Bond flick and would have been better livened up by giving it to Andy Sidaris and have him cast Julie Strain as the hero, at least there'd a hot amazon chick in there. Actually, Brigitte Nielsen and Julie Strain would be a pretty good match-up, both being over six foot tall and having an Amazonian charisma and beauty. Since that didn't happen, we get another low-rent Bond-clone. Maybe the lead would have been better in a better movie, having no rehearsal and only one to two takes often makes the cast in these films seem much worse actors than they actually are. If you can't sleep and it's on cable, it might keep you mildly entertained.

Matt

An action picture with lots of explosions , no production values and flat acting in a plot that is only an excuse to blow up things.

The film looks to be a video transfer in 16:9 format with lots of artifacts in the result, but I must admit I could not watch the thing to the end to see what equipment was used.

The story is a mish-mash of revenge, saving the earth, and the diabolical villain wanting to blow up the earth. The "story" is not helped by the flat performances by a host of actors who have appeared in a large number of good films; Brigette Nielson, however is the name above the title and does not seem to have learned a thing about acting during her career.