Mary-Kate Olsen credited as playing...
Melanie Porter
- Barbara Porter: Look, I know your grandpa's not great with you girls...
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Mom, that's like saying the Titanic's not great with icebergs.
- Grandpa 'Ambassador' Edward: [after Ally and Melanie have been arrested] Allyson, Melanine. I am very disappointed in you. As the United States Ambassador of France I cannot have my two granddaughters being hauled into Peace Headquarters, and gallivanting around with two delinquent little French boys.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: But Grandpa, you don't even know them!
- Jeremy Bluff: Sir, if I may say one thing.
- Grandpa 'Ambassador' Edward: I will deal with you later.
- Jeremy Bluff: No, sir. No sir, you will deal with me now. Ally and Melanie came to France to have a terrific time, and they met two boys, who introduced them to the wild and crazy side of Paris, that you once knew yourself, Edward. Ally and Melanie are two great kids, they are bright and full of life. You would know that too, sir, if you would only spend time with them.
- Grandpa 'Ambassador' Edward: You are very close to employment termination, young man.
- Jeremy Bluff: Well, sir, I'm about to get even closer. A week ago, I gave you my position on the Water treaty. You have yet to read it. I used to think that if I stayed around long enough, that you would listen to me. But I see now that my contribution has fallen on deaf ears. So, Mr. Ambassador, with all due respect. I quit.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: What? Jeremy, you can't!
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Not because of us!
- Jeremy Bluff: No, no. I need to thank you. For giving me the courage to do what I should have done a long time ago.
- [hugs Ally and Melanie and then offers his arm to Brigitte]
- Jeremy Bluff: Shall we?
- [Brigitte takes his arm and they leave the office]
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Camera?
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Passport? Where are we going?
- [Barbara shows them their Guidebooks]
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Paris? We're going to Paris?
- Barbara Porter: You're going to Paris.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter, Melanie 'Mel' Porter: We're going to Paris!
- [Ally and Melanie jump in excitement toward each other and hugged]
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: When are we going? When?
- Barbara Porter: Next week over spring break.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter, Melanie 'Mel' Porter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Jeremy, it's totally rude to digidial during lunch!
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Totally!
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: I think I'll order drinks to start.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: You're gonna order for us?
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Deux poissons, S'il vous plaît.
- Caf� Waitress: [writes down on her notepad] D'accord.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Merci.
- [to Melanie]
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: My French teacher says I'm a natural.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: I can't believe Grandpa had such a cow over the wine spritzer. It was an accident.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Why can't he be like other grandfathers? You know, the sweet old guy who sits in rocking chairs and brings us presents and tells us how smart and funny we are?
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Face it, we don't have a grandfather. We have an ambassador.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Man, this country's weird. Grape Juice with dinner?
- François: No no, it is not grape juice. It is...
- [Melanie spits the wine to his face not realizing she's tasting the wine]
- François: Wine.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Sparkles?
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Too risky. Hat?
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Nix. Blocks your face.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Gotta hand it to you, Ally. If we pull this off...
- [bell rings]
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Showtime.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: We're supposed to meet the boys at 2:00 tomorrow. How are we gonna pull that off?
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Well, we can't keep ditching Jeremy. I'm actually kinda feeling bad for the bonehead.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: What we need is a plan; a diversion.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: What we need is... I've got it.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: This has been the coolest day.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Yeah, thanks for showing us around. We'd have such a great time.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Time? Oh my God! What time is it?
- Jean: [looks at his watch] 4:45.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: We're supposed to be home at 5. We promised Jeremy.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: We're on the other side of the city! We'll never make it!
- Jean: Bonsoir, ma crème brûlée.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: What are you doing here? How'd you guys get past the guards?
- Michel: The Marines? Nice Guys.
- Jean: We're very sorry for getting you into trouble.
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter: Don't worry about it. It all worked out okay. Except...
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: We have some bad news. We can't go to the dance with you tomorrow night. You guys should invite someone else.
- Michel: Never. Either we go with Melanie and Ally Porter or we go alone. Right, Jean?
- Jean: Right!
- Allyson 'Ally' Porter, Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Sshh.
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: It's not just the dance. We can't see you anymore.
- Michel: What? You can't see us again?
- Jean: Ever?
- François: Allô? Who is out there?
- Melanie 'Mel' Porter: You guys better go. We don't want you getting into any more trouble.
- [Jean blow kisses. Ally does the same back to him. He slightly faints]
- Michel: Goodbye, beautiful girl.