L'ordre de l'Aigle Noir

Imagine that you have a very limited budget and want to make a James Bond-like film. And, because you have no money, you need to get 3rd rate unknown actors, cheap props and a no-name director. And, you'll have "The Order of the Black Eagle"...a terrible film in most every way. One of the most serious problems about the film is that instead of a sexy spy hero, we have a guy with a receding hairline who looks like a tax accountant--and who tries to score with women who aren't particularly attractive. To make up for this, they had the brilliant idea of giving this super-hero (Duncan Jax) a baboon sidekick--one that makes lot of rude gestures to try to distract everyone from how dumb the film is.

Speaking of dumb. The plot of this film is essentially that of "They Saved Hitler's Brain". However, instead of just saving Mr. H's head, these Neo-Nazis have preserved his entire body and plan to rejuvenate him and start the Fourth Reich in South America!! You can't get a sillier plot than this but combining it with bad acting, writing that THOUGHT is was very clever but wasn't and cheese, you get a dumb film that MIGHT be of interest to bad movie fans but to no one else.

Apparently, they made a sequel, but I don't think I'll bother.

In today's world, there's little you can trust. But this film's cover tells its story perfectly.

You see a balding James Bond wannabe flanked by two women who would be gorgeous under the right light... and by his side is a baboon in a tuxedo.

Okay, so the plot is muddled and poorly thought out. The dialog is incompetent, and at some point, the writers seem to have given up trying to tell a story and invited friends over to make up the rest of the script.

I can ignore all of that in a movie where a baboon actually does wear a tuxedo, where the baboon starts up the hero's airplane (okay, ultralight glider, but close enough) and where a baboon drives his own tank.

Sure, the South American Nazi stuff is poorly tacked on an nonsensical. It doesn't matter. A baboon is driving a tank.

This is not something to watch with an eye for subtext, plot or even basic thrills. It's a movie to watch with a bunch of people willing to laugh at a ridiculous spectacle. I hope that's what the producers had in mind.

What were they thinking when this film was made? My only hope was that tongue was firmly planted in cheek. If not, then this movie is pretty bad. Chock full of cliche's, this James Bond wannabe has got it all and more. You know you have a winner, when Duncan Jax is introduced to his support team and they all have descriptive nicknames (e.g. Blade is the knife expert, Wires - explosive expert, Crusher - the big bruiser, etc...). My favorite scene is during the raid on the neo-Nazi camp (Nazis are important for this kind of film) and one of the Nazis rides an ATV behind a tent, there are sounds of bones breaking and the Nazi flies out in front of the tent and lands of the ground, then one of our heroes rides out from behind the tent on the ATV and for good measure runs over the Nazi's head. How could someone write this with a straight face. I won't even mention some of the other hilarious scenes but if you can find this on late cable or satellite (I don't think this film merits a trip to the video store) consider watching it.

Everything I read about this absurd film is true. It's a really bad version of Buckaroo Banzai. It looks like a film that you borrowed money from your relatives to make because you felt you were the next Stephen Spielberg. Dumb storyline, stupid dialog, grade school acting, Cheap sets (i.e. the Nazi camp was bed sheets thrown over stick frames), and rediculous music all combine to make this movie a "cult classic". A classic for Mystery Science Theater 3000 that is.

My review was written in April 1988 after watching the film on Celebrity video cassette.

"The Order of the Black Eagle" proves one can make a low-budget James Bond imitation in North & South Carolina, but the results aren't appealng. Shot in 1985, pic received limited theatrical runs commencing last December and now is in video release.

Designed as a sequel to helmer Worth Keeter's "Unmasking the Idol", pic toplines Ian Huntr (not very impressive compared to the late British thesp by that name -he's also not the rock performer) as Duncan Jax, a government agent imitating 007. Unfortunately, he is cryptically saddled with a baboon (literally, played by a trained animal named Typhoon) sidekick who wears a tux and makes rude gesturs and noise for so-called comic relief. Everyone in the film takes the simian's presence for granted, but the audience is bound to wonder.

Jax' mission provides a very skimpy story line: it seems a group of cartoonish baddies led by portly William Hicks is attempting to take ovr the world by using stolen laser technology to destroy the major communications satellites. Adolf Hitler is in deep freeze and will be revived to take over.

Pic consist of mainly okay action scene involving lots of explostions, as well as irritating Bond imitation, especially from "Dr. No" and a Q-figure played by Shang Tai Tuan. The girls are plretty but Hunte's peformance is flat. An Amazonian black actress, Flo Hyman plays Spike: film is dediated to her, listing her as having died in 1986.

Lensing at Earl Owensby Studios and on locations in the Carolinas is quite unconvincing for all the globe-hopping plot, especially when feathers are used for snow in a Geneva-set sequence.