User reviews

To call 'Plutonium Baby' a stinker would be the understatement of the year. This is the second worst film I have ever seen. Don't get me wrong; I love bad horror - the worse the better. But what I simply cannot abide is the subgenre I like to refer to as Boring Horror. And 'Plutonium Baby' is excruciatingly, mind-numbingly dull - ten minutes into this Thanksgiving dinner of a movie, I was praying for it to end. It has a duration of only eighty-five minutes but it feels like forever. Couple this with low-rent special effects and dreck actors, and you have a thoroughly awful affair.

The only positive thing I can say about 'Plutonium Baby' is that it is marginally better than Troma's dire 'Igor and the Lunatics', which is the worst film I have ever viddied, and which was voted by 'Entertainment Tonight' as the 'Worst Film Ever Made'. Like 'Plutonium', 'Igor' is a crushing bore.

Other Boring Horror titles to be carefully avoided are 'Demon Wind' starring George Kennedy, and 'A Name for Evil' (or, as I prefer to call it, 'A Name for Tedium'!) starring Robert Culp and Samantha Eggar. Don't get burned!

IT'S ALIVE?!?! No, wait a minute! It's a complete overhaul of a mess! For what lost cause does this corny title make any good sense? Made and shot at a VERY miniscule budget, there's no secret why PLUTONIUM BABY carries one useless scene after another, and later on, things can only get worse until the bitter end! It has killings and all the more, and for so much less out of all its vital functions needed to sustain life. Not even our contaminated killer can suck on a milk bottle, nor fit in the cradle! Keep your eyes peeled for a wild and savage rabbit that is worth the entire movie alone. Never has it been so difficult to find tons of ultra-cheapie horror movies waiting for the eyes and ears of this weird world. This makes the perfect "schlock" experience that's uncommonly rare (also try watching REVENGE OF THE RADIOACTIVE REPORTER). Just who is Patrick Molloy, and what's he up to now?

To grasp the concept of eternity, you don't need to know about mountains of diamond and tiny birds pecking at them till they wear down to a nubbin. All you need to do is sit down with Plutonium Baby, a pot of coffee, and a fresh package of $1.29 oatmeal cookies, and, trust me, you'll experience eternity. The coffee will be nothing but a stain in your cup, the oatmeal cookies will be nothing but crumbs, and Plutonium Baby will STILL be slowly, patiently, remorselessly unreeling on your screen.

Characters wander onto the set, they wander off, things happen, a whole new movie starts about two-thirds of the way into the tape; yes, there's a radioactive Muppet Baby, yes, there's people preserved in drums of radioactive waste for a decade, yes, some doof decides he just has to use a drum of radioactive waste for a beer cooler, yes, at one point there's three unrelated parties of armed men wandering around in the Jersey woods looking for the Nuclear Kid. But you just don't care. You can't make yourself care.

I'm told there's a bet that you can't lose, no matter how drunk the individuals involved are: simply bet a guy any amount of money he can't eat a pound of butter in an hour, and keep it all down. In the same vein, I'd almost be willing to bet that a sane person could not sit, unrestrained, in a metal folding chair in front of Plutonium Baby and watch the whole thing straight through without falling asleep or getting up to purge.

I'd like to watch it again and see if I could isolate the elements that make this hog so completely unwatchable, but no force on earth could make me go through this a second time.

I was on my weekly trip to the video rental place down the street, where I normally rent about 5 mindless horror films a week, when I saw the case of "Plutonium Baby". I thought it looked rather amusing, so my friends and I rented it. I have seen "Leprechaun", I have seen "Leviathan" and I have seen "Lifeforce". I have seen "Pod People (Los Nuevos Extraterrestrios)", I have seen "Mitchell" and "The Wild Wild World of Batwoman". I have seen films of a quality so low that the average viewer would lose their faith in humanity. The foul abomination "Plutonium Baby" makes them look like "Citizen Kane". The longest scene in this film was the sex scene between the title character, named David if I recall correctly, and his wife. I sat through the entire film, and I still don't know what was supposed to have happened. The plot was unintelligible. The effects were sickeningly bad. There was even one radiation warped creature that my friends and I mistook for a muppet at first. The dialogue was also abomidable. I believe this is the only film in which an actor actually uttered the phrase "Don't pay any attention to that radioactive symbol, just put your beer in there." I would not have sat through the whole thing if my friends had not restrained me, and I reccomend that you locate every copy of this film that you can, and burn it.

Here's a first: a movie so unbelievably awful even I was unable to watch it all the way through.

From the title, I was expecting some kind of "It's Alive!" slimy puppet show... Instead I get the lamest "four teenagers enter the woods..." story ever scripted. The title character isn't a baby at all, he's a poorly socialized 14-year-old named Danny, and not particularly mutated at all. As far as special effects, there's a radioactive bunny sock-puppet that's amusing for a few minutes, and a couple of well-done corpses, including one whose small intestines are inexplicably tied in a bow, but by 20 minutes into the film, it's clear they've used up all their good ideas. A quarter-hour after that, the plot finally expires altogether, and the movie does something I've never seen before -- it launches straight into its own sequel: "Plutonium Baby II: Danny Takes Manhattan".

In this phase of the film, it's ten years later, and Plutonium Baby is now Plutonium Man, with a girlfriend (from whom he must hide his Terrible Secret, of course) and a festering leg wound. He's being stalked through the streets of New York by the now horribly deformed scientist whose radiation experiments caused his plutonious state. The tension *really* fails to build here, as by now you've lost interest in the survival of any of the characters, and the chances you're going to see somebody attacked by a radioactive squirrel or pigeon or something appear to be slim. Apparently the whole thing builds up to some kind of Highlander-esque final showdown, with creator facing creation in a battle royale, but I just couldn't take any more. I still haven't returned the video, so maybe I'll find out how it ends sometime this week, but I'm not sure I have the strength...

Ray Hirschman's "Plutonium Baby" has to be one of the worst pieces of garbage I have ever seen.This film is awful in every department.The script is idiotic beyond belief,the direction is horrible and the acting is incredibly bad.There is some gore,but the special effects are so inept that you'll scratch your head in a total disbelief.The plot is as follows:Dr.Drake and his team of scientists are performing grotesque and illegal experiments involving plutonium's effect on pregnant women.The day Danny was born,Dr.Drake and his minions go too far in their experiments and kill Danny's mother.Fortunately Danny is saved while the callous doctors bury Emily's body in a toxic waste container.Twelve years passed and suddenly Danny's nightmare is relieved when Drake resurfaces to stalk and kill Danny.When the doctor moves in for the kill,a hideously deformed and mutated Emily awakens inside the earth's core and returns to rescue her son.Anyway,"Plutonium Baby" is truly painful to watch.It's definitely one of most stupid horror films ever made.Avoid this cheap load of crap like the plague.1 out of 10.

I thought Halloween 3 was bad! Then I saw Plutonium baby. First of all, the tagline just doesn't work. He'll tell his mommy? HE HAS NO MOMMY TO TELL!! Secondly, the baby isn't even a baby - he's about eleven years old. The stupid teenagers that enter the scene serve the proper horror movie purpose - they're complete idiots. The cinematography is laughable. The kids are seemingly lost in the middle of the woods, but if you look carefully you can see a car go by them in the background. Are you kidding me? "We're lost!" "Vvvrrroooom." "What was that?" Absolutely terrible. Next, the pathetic storyline drags on for hours - literally. Just when you think the nauseating plot has finally finshed, it flashes forward ten years to start the - (I'm running out of fitting words) - grotesquely stupid story all over again with the "baby" as a grown-up. There's a dull sex scene that's probably the longest scene in the whole movie - next in line for longest is the aerobics scene, that's right, there's an aerobics scene. That's about all you need to know, except the worst script line I've ever heard: "don't mind the nuclear warning sign, put your beer in there anyway." The fact that whoever wrote this film actually thought they'd make a profit from it is the best part - it's just too much!! It's beyond those bad movies that are fun to laugh at, like Bloodfeast for example. No it's just plain bad. Not funny in a "this is supposed to scare us?" sort of way, but bad in a "they should use this video for torture" sort of way. Avoid this movie like you would avoid the Black Plague.

Ah yes, Troma. Nothing quite says pure garbage like a Troma film. Whether it is The Toxic Avenger, or Sergeant Kabuki Man, you can always expect the worst from this rag-tag group of filmmakers. And nothing proves that statement more than this movie.

Plutonium Baby is really 2 movies in one. You see the movie is broken up into 2 parts: 1 part takes place where the campers discover the plutonium outcast, and the other part takes place when they take him back to New York with them. While the first part offers a bit more than the second, neither is worth your time. Sure, there are one or two decent deaths, and the makeup on Danny's sister is not bad at all. Like many other good B-Movies, this one has it's moments. Only, this movie's moments make up maybe 1 minute of this 85-minute picture.

Here's the problem with Plutonium Baby: this movie must have been thought up as an idea, never meant to be produced into a script. Someone must have said, `Hey, how about we do a movie about a kid mutated by radioactive waste?' And then someone else came along and said, `Nah, that wouldn't work.' And so, the idea was probably scraped off of someone's shoe, presented to a couple of people, and became a film. Only most films use scripts. This one is so atrocious with its dialogue that it has to have been improvised at least 75% of the way through. Plutonium Baby has no real story to latch onto, no real characters with any sense of human intellect, and nothing to keep you interested.

In conclusion, please, do not support Troma and go out and even rent this movie. Leave it on the shelf. If your looking for a real horror/B-Movie, do yourself a favor and rent anything by Full Moon Studios when they were in partnership with Paramount Pictures. Full Moon and Paramount put out I think 35 films together and most of them are real good, if you're into Horror/B-Movies. Troma should take a lessen from Full Moon on how to do it right. Since I can't rate these films with anything below 1, Plutonium baby gets a 1/10.

I've read peoples comments about how this is 'this'.....'that' and whatever. Do not try to take this film seriously - the makers don't so why should we. Its just a complete joke, but because of that you can laugh the entire way through.

Its full of all the horror clichés - woman tripping without obstacles nearby etc. There is a classic line, at one point one of the actors (i use the term loosely) says something like 'Jeez man, it feels like I'm trapped in some kind of B-Horror Movie.' - somehow he manages to keep a straight face.

There is also one point, which lasts for like 10 mins, where the evil guy is limping across the screen saying 'Danny', 'Danny' in somekind of stereotypical evil voice - pure comedy genius.

All in all. I wouldn't miss this, I laughed from start to finish.

Plutonium Baby... read those words over and over again. Read them very slowly, making sure to carefully pause after each syllable. Accentuate every breath as if you are getting ready to make the biggest announcement of your life. "PLU. TON. I. UM. BA. BY." Keep repeating these words to yourself, because you will want to know these words every time you go to your local mom-and-pop store to sniff this cherished cult item out. You need this movie. It's more vital than oxygen, food, water, sunshine, sleep, whatever. This film contains every aspect of a brilliant life-changing event. Wonderfully filmed. Pristinely edited. Masterfully created. Beautifully orchestrated. A Biblical production. The people who disagree are only jealous of the majestic beauty beneath the layers of tricky editing effects and disturbing topics.

This is a baby, folks. A plutonium baby. This film made me realize how being born into the world as a plutonium baby can be a danger in a society obsessed with looks. The plutonium baby, since the beginning of time, has been oppressed and demoralized and now MAYBE this problem in our society can be corrected by mass exposure to this amazing film.

This is truly a masterwork -- the director's best film by far. The story portrays how good and evil are equivalent. To simplify this: the bad guy (the guy in the suit) who was actually portrayed as the "good guy" was inevitably the complete evil and not the plutonium baby itself. This is a classic depiction of a few key elements that we can really learn lessons from: modern society is corrupt and to never judge so swiftly.

You really can't do better than this wonderfully-made social commentary, a production that can't even be put into words. Just perfection.

Yes, I've finally reached the depths of 80s horror that I am watching stuff called PLUTONIUM BABY. Some kids go camping in the woods and run into an old man and his grandson, Danny. Seems the kid's mom was working for some nuclear folks and got contaminated, so this kid glows in the dark (according to on screen text, we never see it happen). Goons come into the woods to kill him, but they are killed with the leader being placed in a toxic waste drum. Ten years later, the grown Danny (Ciaran Sheehan) is a construction worker in NYC and life is normal until the guy bursts from the drum with revenge on his mind. If that sounds a bit disjointed, there is a reason. According to the IMDb, the original director (William Szarka) left halfway into a 10-day shoot and the producer took over. Whomever is responsible for the final product deserves a lashing. Never before has a director feared such things as close ups, camera movement, or editing. A majority of the dialogue scenes involve two people standing in the frame and getting it all out in one burst. If the film has anything going for it, there are some interesting FX by Scott Coulter. After that, it is slim pickings.

There aren't enough derogatory expletives in the dictionary to hurl at this brimming bucket of fetid pond scum...PLUTONIUM BABY is swerve-driving, disorderly chicken-scratch which denotes a backwoods codger fostering his grandson when illegally dumped toxic waste turns the boy's mother into a mutant. Following the murder of both his mutated mom and grand-dad by some shady government suits, the orphaned boy is swept off to Manhattan. Years later, he is stalked with vengeful contempt by one of the killers, now a toxic mutant himself.

There's far more nonsense going on in the story than I have bothered to mention, but the matter is too trivial to justify callousing my fingertips on the keypad with further annotation.

A wriggling pinworm in the ass of horror cinema. Avoid. 2/10

Danny is a bit unusual, due to his having been exposed to radiation as a baby. After his grandfather is killed, Danny's mum, who happens to also be a mutant, sets out to exact her vengeance.

Ten years pass, and Danny's all grown up. What started out as a very bad movie, doesn't improve one iota.

PLUTONIUM BABY is a sub-sludge -"Budget? What's a budget?"- horror movie, complete with the requisite non-acting "actors", acting as though they might be in a movie of some sort.

All of its trashiness aside, this movie's greatest sin is its extreme dullness. Even the nudity is boring! Sitting through to the end is like trying to keep a handful of angry bees in your mouth for an hour and a half!...