Under the Doctor

Under The Doctor, starring Mind Your Language's Barry Evans, is one of those bawdy British sex comedies that were so popular in the '70s, their combination of sauciness and comedy, often featuring recognisable performers, making them a respectable way for movie-goers to see some T&A. Likely lads could take their birds to see such films with the aim of getting their gal in the mood; married couples could add some spice to a stale relationship; and frustrated middle-aged businessmen could get their jollies in the comfort of a seedy West End cinema.

In the case of Under The Doctor, if it wasn't for the nudity and implied nookie, I doubt the film would have ever seen the light of day, so weak are the supposed comedic situations that unfold as several female patients tell their sex-related troubles to psychiatrist Doctor Boyd (Evans). So let's not dwell too much on the dreadful plot or lame humour, but instead go into a little more detail about the smut on offer...

Doctor Boyd's first patient is Marion, played by Penny Spencer; she tells the psychiatrist about how she increased her chances of getting a job by shagging the boss (also played by Evans) during the interview. Spencer flashes plenty of cleavage before stripping down to a small pair of panties.

The doc's second patient is posh totty Lady Victoria Stockbridge (Hilary Pritchard), whose family has fallen on hard times. To make ends meet, she seduces stockbroker Rodney Harrington-Harrington (Jonathan Cecil), trading sex for insider knowledge. Topless nudity from Pritchard.

Lady Stockbridge then tells the psychiatrist about her fantasies, in which she is a lady during the reign of George II, with two suitors vying for her affection: a foppish aristocrat and a roguish lieutenant (Evans again), who duel to settle the situation. More topless nudity from Pritchard, with a brief flash of bush.

The final case is that of Sandra, played by busty beauty Liz Fraser (Carry On..., Confessions of..., and Adventures of... star), who was jilted on her wedding day, and who has invented an imaginary family as a coping mechanism. Sandra's imaginary husband is understandably randy, jumping on his wife at every chance, which leaves the poor woman frustrated that she is never able to practise the art of seduction. Fraser can be seen in a various states of undress, often in sexy underwear, but never topless: that might've caused some of those middle-aged businessmen in the audience to keel over in the aisles.

The film ends with Dr. Boyd cracking up under the strain of having so many sexy patients under his care (as well as a naughty nurse who takes a fancy to him). It's a painfully unfunny finish to a painfully unfunny film, the only reason for watching being the sexy ladies.

While I would not like to be in the position of defending Under The Doctor as a great British sex comedy, if in fact there is such a thing, I would object to those who treat it as a paean to Liz Fraser.

Under The Doctor consists of four stories linked by the concept of people telling them to a psychiatrist (Barry Evans). The first patient, Marion Parson (Penny Spencer) is a young woman who has erotic fantasies about a potential employer Mr. Johnson (Barry Evans again) at a job interview. The second patient, the noble Lady Victoria Stockbridge (Hilary Pritchard), tells the tale of how she supports her luxurious lifestyle by wheedling "inside" information on the stock market from smitten banker Rodney Harrington-Harrington (Jonathan Cecil); he with the lecherous butler Wilkins (Peter Cleall). She then relates her fantasy of being an 18th century lady being dueled over by the foppish Lord Woodbridge (Jonathan Cecil again) and the dashing Lieutenant Cranshaw (Barry Evans again). The final patient is the single, live at home with Mom, Sandra (Liz Fraser) who fantasizes about rekindling the flame with her imaginary husband Colin (Barry Evans again).

In terms of sex, Penny Spencer is the youngest, prettiest and most naked. Hilary Pritchard contributes some worthwhile topless views and Liz Fraser does Victoria's Secret proud in the lingerie department. Although I am a lifetime fan of Liz Fraser's comic skills I must be a cad and suggest that perhaps she was reaching a stage where those skills might best be shown fully dressed.

In terms of comedy the offerings are much more dependent on your personal taste. The tone of the film is difficult to describe inasmuch as there is a touch of the fevered back of the hand to the forehead Perils of Pauline approach to the fantasies. It will either attract your interest or leave you confused. Most of the comic situations are simplistic and unoriginal (except for the "insider trading" plot line which is most likely to appeal to those with a business background).

In terms of acting Liz Fraser, with her vibrant performance and comic timing leads the pack. I've seen Jonathan Cecil in small roles in many British movies but the persona he displayed in each was always the same. Here he has a larger role and, while his persona is exactly the same (whether you like it is a matter of personal taste), there is no doubt he's enjoying it immensely. I feel like a cad, again, in being unable to say anything nice about Barry Evans rather flat performance. I feel that I owe him something to offset the tragedy of his short life but unfortunately I can't find anything on the screen.

Technical credits on the DVD I watched were low average.

As an unsuspecting teenager in search of cheap thrills, I'd sneak down to my local 'Vi-star' video shop to peruse the shelves heaving with low-budget horror, martial arts and soft-core sex flicks, in wonder. Hey. This was the mid 1980's.

It was at this time that I first acquainted myself with the eminently strange phenomena that is/was the British sex comedy. A host of well-known faces from TV and the 'golden age' of British comedy would gather in front of a mouldy old arriflex, and ham it up mirthlessly through antediluvian routines for presumably minimal recompense. Their mugging was usually recorded with a complete dearth of anything even vaguely resembling cinematic flair. And only occasionally interrupted by unknown young models taking their clothes off. Far more interesting than anything on-screen was the fact that these films were all sizable box-office smashes in their day.

Amidst such dispiriting (and totally English) fare shone the beacon of middle-aged female pulchritude that was Liz Fraser. A talented comedienne who had worked alongside the finest British comic talents of the day since the late fifties, Liz rather obligingly agreed to remove the vast majority of her clothes in 'Confessions of a driving instructor' and 'Confessions from a holiday camp'. She also made brief and unrevealing (though highly welcome) cameos in 'Adventures of a taxi driver', 'Adventures of a private eye' and 'Rosie Dixon: Night nurse'. The mother lode for Frazer fans, though, is 'Under the Doctor'.

I didn't get to see this film until many years later. 1999 to be precise. In an extremely belated low-price video incarnation. And naturally, I only purchased it due to Liz's name on the label. I made myself comfortable, hoping at best to get a quick glimpse of the lady in her infamous black bra. I didn't dare to dream that the flick would hit the heady heights of 'Driving instructor' (Liz in basque and suspenders, black bra and panties, and frolicking in a bath). Oh, ye of little faith. Not only does Liz model her under garments. She is also given rather more screen time than usual to parade her eye-popping wares, and even performs a delightful Marlene Dietrich spoof. Complete with top hat.

After the let downs of the 'Adventures' movies and the truly execrable 'Rosie Dixon' I thought that I'd seen the best of this phenomenally sexy woman. Not so. 'Under the doctor' is the cream of a lamentable crop.

It goes without saying that, Liz excepted, 'Under the Doctor' is without any redeeming features whatsoever. In fact, I've only ever watched the whole thing through once. The film-makers rather thoughtfully shoe-horned the bulk of Liz's performance into one section of the piece. In much the same way that she presumably shoe-horned her formidable bosom into that basque. Hence, I merely forward the tape to the desired point and enjoy 10 minutes or so of true cinematic artistry.

Actually, now that I come to think of it, Hilary Pritchard is worth the odd repeat play as well. But no match for Mrs. Fraser. Natch.

Trivia hounds. Did you know that Barry Evans, the nominal 'star' of this fiasco and the immortal 'Adventures of a taxi driver' actually ended up driving a taxi to support himself once his career nose-dived? One hopes that his real-life adventures were far more stimulating that his on-screen ones.

R.I.P. Mr. Evans