Review by Hey_Sweden

Combine a ridiculous story (actually, there's not very much of a "story"), stunningly terrible acting, lousy sound, endearingly tacky effects, and an omnipresent, overbearing music score, and you have the memorably bizarre and stupid micro budget oddity that is "Things". This movie just goes to show that Canadians can do this sort of thing just as "well" as anybody. It drags and meanders and is often just as tiresome as it is funny. But when it's over, it's the kind of Thing that you just don't forget.

Basically, an insane husband whose inability to give his wife a child led them to participate in an experiment that saw her give birth to the creatures of the title. Now a bunch of characters: Don Drake (played by co-writer / co-producer Barry J. Gillis), his brother Doug (Doug Bunston), and Fred (Bruce Roach) are about to experience a night of terror thanks to the machinations of the nefarious Dr. Lucas (Jan W. Pachul).

You'd swear these guys, including co-writer / co-producer / director Andrew Jordan, were just making up this absurdity as they went along; this plodding but amusing piece of work does have that feel. The so-called actors in this thing appear pretty amused themselves. (Lovely porn star Amber Lynn appears in a (clothed) part as a reporter. Overall, getting through "Things" is going to be a real endurance test for some people while others may well have a whale of a time. The filmmakers may not be the most technically proficient you'll ever see (to put it mildly), but they make up for that to a degree with gonzo enthusiasm. The splatter is absolutely delicious stuff for whatever budget they bad.

Shot on Super 8, this truly walks on the wild and wacky side of Canucksploitation.

Five out of 10.