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Lost for Words (1999)

User reviews

Lost for Words

15 reviews
9/10

Lost for words

A brilliant TV movie which portrays the slow deterioration of an elderly parent which I have experienced first hand, it is very true to life. I know this after I looked after my Aunt who suffered with the terrible symptoms of dementia for over 4 years. I just wish it was available on DVD or VHS as it is discontinued now. Pity. Thora Hird is excellent as the old lady and plays the part brilliantly as do the rest of the cast. It shows how difficult dealing with dementia can be and shows the symptoms very well indeed. The frustrations of the disease are terrible and more people should be aware of what can happen to elderly people and could also happen to any one of us. This film should be shown to school children and carers of others dealing with dementia as it shows clearly the problems you may have to face.....if you do please remember that dementia patients are NOT mad....they have simply forgotten their life and friends / relatives....it is brain damage..they don't know! I found this the most difficult thing to cope with, the fact that she thought I was her Brother or her husband when in fact I was her Nephew...also saying they are OK and don't need any help. It is hard.
  • marksnewhome
  • May 29, 2005
  • Permalink
9/10

Very, very good

Deric Longden is one of those authors who wriggles into one's psyche and stays there, so when one of his works gets made into a film or TV play, you feel as though you have a vested interest in it. This has been done very well - I have the VHS version of it, as being in New Zealand we seem to have missed it on TV -with actors of the highest calibre possible. Thora Hird was golden in anything that she did, and her comedic timing was impeccable. Pete Postlethwaite plays the straight man (as it were) because all the best lines are hers. That's not to undermine his work in any sense. He is faultless. There is a strong sense of reality throughout this piece, so that the viewer does not feel that they are watching a play, but simply observing someone's life through an open window. Excellent.
  • selffamily
  • Jan 2, 2011
  • Permalink
8/10

Big hearted, well-acted film.

This successfully treads a fine line dealing with the last days of a wonderful, slightly eccentric Mother (Dame Thora Hird)and her loving middle aged son (Pete Postlethwaite). The film has has a lighter, more playful tone than that premise would suggest.

It's not that the film looks away from the sadness of death. It can be tough to watch this life- filled older woman slowly deteriorate through a series of strokes. But it's clear what she will leave behind are a lot of loving memories of her quirky, feisty and funny self.

Occasionally the film does tip over into over-sentimentality, and on the other extreme, some of the running comic bits, especially by some underwritten supporting characters get milked way too long.

But in the end, this is a 2 actor show, and Hird and Postlethwaite create a couple of wonderful and memorable characters dealing tackling difficult issues with love and a laugh along with the tears,
  • runamokprods
  • Mar 3, 2012
  • Permalink

A brilliant, touching tale about an aging parent's last days.

I very highly recommend this tale of an aging parent's last days. This sweet, touching story accurately depicts a succession of strokes and partial recoveries -- complete with physical, emotional, and mental struggles that frustrate and frighten not only the elderly patient but her middle-aged son. The performances are brilliant and sincere. The staging and pace/editing perfect. You may want to keep a hankie nearby.
  • Skywatch-3
  • Jan 7, 2001
  • Permalink
10/10

Pure Pathos!

This bittersweet exploration of what familial love is, and the pain there is for all concerned in losing someone to this most alienating of diseases (alzheimers) proves something exceptional in that it shows Dame Thora aware of her own frailty (physically and mentally) yet still able to put it all together for one last truly great performance.

It tells too of the various shades of reality of existence that really are what some mental illness (or deterioration) can be about.

And it's OK to laugh, because it shows the fragility of what we are all so sure of...our hold on the world and the way we see it. And that certainty is laughable.

Pete Postlethwaite - magic.
  • HillstreetBunz
  • Apr 26, 2005
  • Permalink
10/10

both tangible and touchable, this is real stuff

One of the most fantastic dramas I have ever seen. There is good writing and there is pure genius. This exemplifies quality tv production - there is nothing I can say to put into words just exactly how wonderful this drama is. I am absolutely lost for words
  • acacia-2
  • Aug 23, 2000
  • Permalink
10/10

Good For All Ages

I watched this movie in a covered Drama class and by the end it had me in tears. Although my parents are still middle aged and thankfully very healthy, I have a grandma who is in a similar position to Dame Thora Hirds character (Who played her role brilliantly and is definitely the best character actress I've ever seen.) Luckily she has the support of her Husband and Son as well as all her many Grandchildren, of which I am proud to be one. My grandma suffered a stroke last year, like Mrs Longden did, and, thankfully, she is still alive and well. I found this movie really helpful in understanding the thoughts of an ageing woman like her, more than all the complicated books on strokes. Amazing film
  • pillorc-1
  • Nov 2, 2005
  • Permalink
9/10

Wonderful Relationship between a son and his aging mother

`In Asian cultures old folks are revered. In America they are generally ignored. In the UK they are accepted and enjoyed.`

While this is a gross generalization, watch this film and you will see a bit of what I mean. This story is one of the best that I've seen dealing with the relationship between a grown man and his rapidly aging mother. This mother has a unique way of dealing with the world and this son loves her even though she sorely tries him.

In this movie there is a sadness that is, in itself, comforting. While the sadness is heart-rending, the absence of it would be even more terrible. In some way the presence of this sadness brings its own comfort with it. See it and you will never forget it.
  • Havan_IronOak
  • Jun 1, 2002
  • Permalink
10/10

In praise of English TV Drama

  • callalou1
  • Feb 8, 2012
  • Permalink
8/10

subject close to my hart

seeing my father and mother going through the same things it was full of emotion funny ,sad , hart warming , a great film ! never seen it till now or even heard of it but by chance caught it on TV acting is amazing thora hird playing a great part .

giving a look in to a family's life with an ageing mother with a great character.

you can understand and relate to the family and see people you know in the character's.

a grate film worth a watch had me laughing ,crying , and smiling , and sad, a film to change peoples minds about the old and seeing there ways of how they act and live is how life is .x
  • littejb
  • Nov 9, 2012
  • Permalink

Singularly nice movie

This is a very "British" movie in that everything is understated. Thoroughly enjoyable. High praise for Dame Thora Hird and Pete Postlethwaite. I recommend the movie and especially for anyone with aging parents.
  • TalkToMe
  • Aug 20, 1999
  • Permalink
8/10

Lost for Words

The late Deric Longden was a bit of a martyr. He was devoted to his first wife Diana who was stricken with chronic fatigue syndrome. Her plight was shown in the BBC television movie, Wide-Eyed and Legless based on his book.

Deric's second wife was the writer Aileen Armitage, who was legally blind.

Lost for Words is based on the events that affected his mother Annie after a series of small strokes. Thora Hird reprised the role she played in Wide-Eyed and Legless.

Annie is a talkative and eccentric woman. Full of life and stories. Many in the neighbourhood from the doctor to the pharmacist know every details of her son Deric's (Pete Postlethwaite) life. Even though he has never met them.

He has just married his blind wife Aileen. Only now he sees his mother deteriorate after a series of strokes. Each one robbing her of her abilities. Annie knows that is happening to her, she nursed her siblings who had the same health issues. Even admitting she began to hate them after looking after them for so long.

The strokes robs of her speech. Now talking gibberish but the words such as Flump or Treasures do have meaning as Deric slowly realises. Then she imagines gremlins getting into the house though the water taps.

The television movie avoids being mawkish. Thora Hird won a BAFTA for her portrayal. By this time she specialised in eccentric warm hearted grandmother figures.

There is genuine and touching pathos between mother and son which is down to the source material. Deric Longden wrote a book about his mother's affliction.

In later years Deric himself suffered from a series of mini strokes which robbed him of his ability to write.
  • Prismark10
  • Sep 17, 2024
  • Permalink
10/10

All the stars

This was a surprisingly touching movie with a great cast of actors and inspired writing. Anyone who has ever experienced the trials of dealing with a family member suffering from Alzheimer's, stroke, or dementia will recognize and empathize with the long-suffering effects these illnesses have on family members.

Pete Postlethwaite acted in too many movies to list. He played such disparate characters from heavies to sweet guys - as in this film, but my favorite has to be the movie "Brassed Off."

Thora Hird was best known to me as Edie Pegden on Last of the Summer Wine. I loved seeing her pop up unexpectedly in different roles while delving into obscure British films and television series. She was a hoot in Dinnerladies, and her final appearance in Last of the Summer Wine aired just before she passed away in 2003.

This sweet Britcom checked all the boxes for me. Imagine my surprise when Keith Clifford, another LOTSW alum, along with Anne Reid from Dinnerladies, Ladies of Letters and so many other programs, showed up in this film as well.

This was such a touching movie and so well-written. It is well deserving of all the stars.
  • emmapocl
  • Jun 3, 2025
  • Permalink
10/10

It's a terrific film, so moving, yet funny.

Deric Longden has to come to terms with the fact that his elderly mum, Annie, is getting older and starting to fail physically and mentally. Deric has to learn how to support his beloved mum after a stroke damages her health.

This is one of the films we used to watch as a family quite regularly, but when we lost my father to dementia and other issues, it became something I just couldn't watch, as it hit too close to home. So today, I decided to put it on; time enough. It is an outstanding film; it's genuinely brilliant from start to finish.

There are some glorious scenes, including the moment where Annie is attempting to sell her house and the broken 'treasures.' Some of the one-liners are a treat: 'Mum, do you want to be buried or cremated?' ... 'I don't know, love; surprise me.' It's magical.

Pete Postlethwaite and the legendary Dame Thora Hird are first class, genuinely two of Britain's best; the acting is phenomenal. Who remembers those awful parcel bottles? If you didn't have a headache before trying to open them, you would have by the time you aligned the arrows. Still, there were about 350 in them.

I loved that scene inside the china and glass shop, a time of Lladro and Mason's Ironstone, better times.

It could easily have been a sour and depressing affair, the reverse is true, it's joyous. Why can't they make shows like this anymore?

10/10.
  • Sleepin_Dragon
  • Jun 16, 2025
  • Permalink

Wonderful.

Wonderful picture. If any part of this production wasn't superb, we must have not noticed. Casting, directing, and acting were all right on target. I haven't read the book by Mr. Longden YET, but I intend to do so now.

"Lost for Words" was shown here on PBS's Masterpiece Theatre. The network previews looked so appealing that we did not watch it late on the Sunday it aired, but taped it so our whole family could enjoy it. We did indeed.
  • cwmix
  • Nov 5, 1999
  • Permalink

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