Return to Campus

Think I may have seen the worst movie of 1975 on TCM late last night; Back to Campus, about a 55 year old former football college star who returns to live out his glory days. He cheats by using a special spring in his shoe to kick 70 yard goals and every coed is after him. But he is knocking boots with his English Lit teacher. Gratuitous and badly overdubbed swearing was added in, maybe to avoid a G rating. G for GHASTLY in this case.

And oh yeah, there was a shower/locker room scene with lots of exposed male side-hip, but no towel snapping. It was awful, but I stayed up until the bitter end and couldn't stop laughing at the overdubbed swears.

If you want a laugh it's probably streaming now on TCM online.

Earl Keyes has spent the last thirty years in the aviation industry. He has never ceased to regret not having finished his fourth year at Ohio State University -- he left to volunteer in the Second World War. He has also invented a spring to put in football shoes to let him kick 70-yard field goals; he can't find anything in the rulebook against it. So he enrolls for his final year and rejoins the football squad, where he helps the team do well.

Half a remake of the Bing Crosby vehicle HIGH TIME, half a Disney gimmick comedy for the older set, it's a decently written film. Even though few of the performers are particularly skilled, most of the older ones sound like they're actually saying things, instead of reading them off cue cards. There's also small roles for some sports greats, like Arnold Palmer and Tom Harmon.

there were some flaws in the copy shown on TCM last night. The soundtrack sounded muffled, and the colors seemed to have shifted a bit towards red. That's a common occurrence for chemical-dye movies. Add in the fact that few of the crew have other credits, and this turns into a decently made vanity project.

Plays like a corporate training film. Utterly dreary. Any attempt at comedy is drowned by terrible acting of even worse written dialogue. I only watched it to completion because a family member was involved. It wanted to be a Disneyesque family-friendly romp, and though the spirit was there, the talent, on either side of the camera, wasn't.

This movie had a potentially great plot. A man's college days were interrupted by World War II, and now (25-30 years later) he has the chance to finish his education.

He's a widower, so the opportunity for romance is there (with a teacher at the college, as it turns out). In addition, his son is attending the same college, so there's the potential for conflict OR comradeship between the two.

But wait - there's more! The father has crafted some sort of athletic shoe with a spring inside it, which lets him kick a football for an unreasonably long distance. So he also becomes a member of the football team.

This _could_ have been a pretty nice movie - but the execution of it (not to mention the script and the acting) was deathly dull. As I watched it I kept waiting for something to happen ... but it didn't. The most exciting moment of the movie occurred during the closing credits, when I realized I wouldn't have to watch any more of it.

I would have walked out on it if it hadn't been double-billed with George Pal's "Doc Savage", and I'd prescribe it only to those who suffer from extreme insomnia.

Update: if you want to see how bad it is, you can now see it on YouTube.

Look for "The World's Greatest Kicker" on the Sprocket Vault channel.

I was hired to play the college age son. I learned my lines and the entire script with the help of my girl friend at the time. Both of us couldn't believe how bad it was. I figured that it might be a stepping stone to an acting career. So I decided to go through with it.

After spending two days on the set and seeing how awful things were being run so amateurishly, I decided to quit the project. I regretted the decision until I saw it on TCM. Thanks to their showing, I finally felt I made the right choice. All aspects of this film are that bad.