The Thorn

A pathetic waste of time. Poorly acted, really bad sound, and full of blasphemy and insult. I didn't think the film was funny at all although I stomach to watch all of it. It debuted shown here in Melbourne Australia and by half-time most of the patrons had walked out of the cinema in disgust. In fact there was almost a riot when people demanded their money back but the staff from the cinema had ran off in fear and the film was axed. The patrons never got a refund. The story hit the front page of the newspapers. This woman and her cohorts who made a mockery out of Jesus should have thought how they would feel if someone made a film making a joke of the holocaust.

I'm thrilled to find this movie listed in the IMDB. I saw it years ago, and have never before seen it listed in Bette Midler's credits. It's an hysterical parody of the life of Christ. Bette Midler plays the Virgin Mary as a Jewish mother. It's a must-see for her fans.

I too, am surprised to see this listed on IMDB - the last time I checked it wasn't here. I have a copy of this film on VHS - probably one of five or six that were sold nationwide... this film belongs in the "so bad it's good" category. Apparently shot on 16MM stock, Bette and a cast of unknowns portray the life of Christ. The acting is abominable. The plot, what there is of it, is pretty lame - most of it is discussion on the building of 'crosses', and no, that's not what you might think. Bette is somewhat funny in her portrayal of the Virgin Mary as a Jewish Mother, and to anyone who might be offended by that - think about it, what else would Mary have been? An old Dan Ackroyd SNL sketch comes to mind when discussing this film, the one where he played Leonard Pinth Garnell, the host of "Bad Cinema"... this film could easily have been one of his features. All that aside, it's still one of my favorite guilty pleasures!

If you're hoping for typical Bette, 'The Thorn' is not going to please you.

But if you're looking for something really lightweight, perhaps something to make you laugh your buns off after a few glasses of wine or a few beers, then you'll probably enjoy this flick.

Production values are 'lowish,' and it was clearly shot in a hurry with a small budget using cheap cameras and film stock. The sound is so bad that you'll probably want to turn off your theater system and just use the tiny speakers in your monitor.

But as far as fun goes, this flick is great - totally unassuming, with a lot of dark humor and wit.

It's ''a cross'' between a real Bette Midler film and Monty Python. The phrase ''it's a cross'' is a recurring theme, used to explain any and all biblical calamities, inconsistencies, et cetera.

As a closing note, ''The Thorn'' is not found on Bette's official site. It's early work, and I'm sure she would just as soon forget it ever happened. But she shines in it - her real 'devil-may-care' attitude is evident.

I admit to biases. I knew Peter McWilliams (credited in the film as Peter Alexander, who directed this film in the early 1970s. Even then he was a great social critic and a gentle, funny man. I was at the "world premiere" held late one night in 1971 at the Detroit Institute of Art and I loved the film, even though my girlfriend who grew up in a conservative Christian family walked out. I also think Bette Midler was a jerk for cranking up the legal system to kill the film after she consented to be in it. And any film brave enough to spoof the birth of Jesus deserves some respect! All of that said, I still think that the movie stands as a good, sort of experimental, comedy. Granted, it was made on the cheap, almost as a gag. But the script has some very funny moments. Watch Mary try to explain to Joseph how she got pregnant! It is like a 90 minute Monty Python routine. Well worth watching.