Sid Caesar credited as playing...
The Emperor
- The Emperor: [the Emperor doesn't want to be overdressed] I don't want to blind them, I just want them to blink a little.
- Prime Minister: The people are clamoring for you, Your Majesty.
- The Emperor: They're not clamoring very loud.
- Prime Minister: But they're our best clamorers...
- The Emperor: Tell them I want more clamoring. I want more clamor!
- The Emperor: The collar's always around the neck, the sleeves always come off the shoulders, the waist always goes around the middle! When will they invent something original?
- The Emperor: Would the pants have two legs?
- Henry Dispenser: How many would Your Majesty like?
- The Emperor: Five! Then when you're walking around, you can go jumping from leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg...
- The Emperor: How do you spin a thread out of a solid diamond?
- Henry Dispenser: Ah! That is a family secret!
- The Emperor: I think this will be very good for the kingdom. It will weed out all those people who try to bluff their way through life.
- Prime Minister: [Prince Nino is no match for Princess Gilda] The marriage contract has already been agreed.
- The Emperor: They better have a lotta money. And I mean, a lotta money!
- Prime Minister: Unfortunately, they have.
- The Emperor: No, I mean a LOTTA money! And I wanna count it!
- The Emperor: [the tailors use strange measurements] Duke, you realize I have bigger whoopets than the Maharajah?
- Duke: Oh, congratulations, Your Majesty.
- The Emperor: Thank you. I wonder what they are. I hope it's nice.
- The Emperor: It's diamond thread! Diamond makes a spectrum, and blue and red make...
- Duke: Uh... reddy-blue?
- Prime Minister: Uh... bluey-red?
- The Emperor: Blue and red make PURPLE!
- Prime Minister: Your Majesty, I take it this is one suit of clothes that will not be in the museum.
- The Emperor: Wrong! This suit of clothes will have a place of honor in the museum, to show that even an Emperor can be wrong.
- The Emperor: [the Prime Minister and the Duke admit their stupidity] But I, as Emperor, was OVERPOWERINGLY stupid... I, as Emperor, was more stupid than you all, because I was responsible for all this stupidity!