- [first lines]
- Tom: You've been our bookkeeper for give years and this is the first time our books have been uneven!
- Petty Larsen, the Bookkeeper: Boss, a lot of people are having trouble right now balancing their books.
- Tom: Petty, you said a mouthful.
- Oley: Petty? Say, what is your last name?
- Petty Larsen, the Bookkeeper: Larsen.
- Oley: Larsen. Petty Larsen.
- [chuckles]
- Oley: That's a nice name.
- [does a double take]
- Oley: Hey, wait a minute!
- Tom: Petty Larsen. Maybe that counts for the eight dollars and twenty cents that's missing.
- Homeowner: You be careful with those vases! They're priceless museum pieces.
- Tom: Now, listen, mister, we've been in the moving business for 20 years. We are the first thing to break.
- [the two vases on top of the cupboard fall and crash into pieces]
- Oley: [nervously] That's the first thing.
- Homeowner: I'm gonna sue ya! I'm gonna sue ya for every dime you got!
- Clock in Museum: You... are... next!
- Petty Larsen, the Bookkeeper: [after noticing the turkey is burning in the oven] Uh-oh! Looks like hamburger again tonight.
- Petty Larsen, the Bookkeeper: [observing the burnt turkey] Boy, you done shrivel up like a wash woman's thumb.