King Cobra

30 feet of pure terror! So proclaims the jacket ad. The monster snake is actually a Cobra-Rattlesnake creation, the result of genetic tinkering. After the obligatory lab explosion, it escapes and settles down in a small rural town to make life hectic for the hicks, who call in snake-expert Pat Morita (from Happy Days and the "Karate Kid" movies). This flic is rather low-budget and must have went direct-to-video. I'm not really sure how much of it is unintentionally funny or tongue-in-cheek (especially the climactic battle between Morita & the Monster, who, by the way, is named Seth). But, it comes off as entertaining in a goofy, lopsided manner, hearkening back to all those monster flics of the 1950s (and the 1970s, come to think of it). There weren't that many giant snake movies back then, however, instead mostly giant insects and an occasional lizard. Then we got "Anaconda" in '97 and the rest is history - the Sci-Fi Channel has a sub genre load of these by now. The snake-monster itself in "King Cobra" is fairly well executed, showing that even with a very low budget, FX can be done in a reasonable fashion these days. Lucky us.

The film tells about Dr Burns in charge a environment lab making scientific experiments but it turns out to be a bio-genetically King Cobra that has a taste for human flesh .The researcher makes a chemical crossing two species, creating a weird and dangerous hybrid ,being transformed into deadly vipers: an African King Cobra and an American rattle snake with approximate length of thirty feet and whose bites killing its victims.But the laboratory instantly explodes .Two years later the giant snake makes a reappearance and and get loose, attacking at a small town and threaten the populace.Noriyuki, Pat Morita as a snakes expert tells: the African King cobra kills more people than one shark along hundred years .Morita says the snakes have bitten him 167 occasions and he's continuously injecting serum and keeps records with a bite black Mamba snake.The King Cobra simulates death for attraction the victims. and causing a breakdown of the blood cells.The poisonous Cobra-Rattler attack at random and slither down the mountainside,woods and slither around small town,ready to attack anyone in its path.

This is an average scary snake movie .Creepy,scary,campy and low budgeter story about a large snake attacking human beings. Mediocre performances though the actors reacts appropriately to becoming snake food.Rather sympathetic characterization by Pat Morita for the horror genre.Besides Hoyt Axton as the Mayor and Eric Strada as a gay man organizing the brew-fest.The snake are made by Animatronics ,no by nowadays very prolific computer generator,as usual. Another films about this sub-genre are : SSS(Bernard Kowalski),the successful Anaconda(Luis Llosa with Jennifer López),Python 1,2,Boa and Rattlers.The motion picture is regularly directed by David Hillenbrand.

1) You can survive an explosion straight to your face and only suffer from a missing eye.

2) The "African King Cobra" exists, even if king cobras only live in Asia.

3) Aggression makes things bigger.

4) A king cobra/rattlesnake hybrid can spit venom, even if both species are incapable of doing so.

5) Rattlesnakes rattle when they're hunting. Screw being silent.

6) A king cobra/rattlesnake hybrid can make Jurassic Park Raptor noises.

7) Bullets do not affect a king cobra/rattlesnake hybrid at all.

8) A beer festival is way too important to mind the lives of innocent civilians.

9) Never trust people from you snake-hunting team, as they might mistake sleeping gas for toxic gas.

10) Expect the unexpected.

Is this a low budget movie?: YES

Is the acting bad?: YES

Is this movie a bad one?: NO DOUBT

BUT, is this movie entertaining?: YES, but only in limited periods of time. If you want to enjoy "King Cobra", you have to block out all expectations of this being a great film, and just erase your memory of great films you've previously seen. Only if you do that, there's a possible that it will entertain you. One thing that helps a bit, it that the special effects doesn't look that bad. But since this is really low-budget, the big snake hasn't that much screen time. And for the opening scene, just forget that it was part of the movie, because it has to be one of the worst scenes that I've seen. Ever.

Okay. "Battlefield Earth" is nothing compared to this. This is, hands down, the worst movie I have ever, EVER seen. I saw it on HBO in the middle of the day when I was home sick, and this movie just made it worse. But, like a terrible car accident, I couldn't look away. The town in the film is home to a fledgling brewery that could spell an economic turnaround for the small hamlet, if its opening day "Brewfest" is a success. But, a giant cobra has escaped from a nearby lab and could kill everyone if authorities don't take the advice of the cute lady cop and her doctor boyfriend. Believe it or not, the stubborn mayor JUST WON'T LISTEN! You can guess the rest. Some observations:

1) Erik Estrada's performance as a gay man was the very worst acting I have ever seen in any movie. I'm talking Ed Wood level acting here. I kept getting the feeling that he was uncomfortable playing a a gay man; maybe he's got too much "machismo" in his Latin blood for that. His lisp, his "little dog," his "gay walk," his constantly checking out men's rears. Yikes!

2) The dad from "Gremlins" played the mayor of the town who, darnit, just won't listen when he's warned about the snake. He can't stop the town's beer festival! The economic future of every citizen is riding on it! Predictable results.

3) The young doctor. Hoo boy. The young doctor. Don't quit your day job, Mr. Forgettable, Stilted, Anonymous actor.

4) The lady cop. Ditto.

5) The snake was funny. A cobra with a rattle.

Not to mention all the racist stereotypes and idiotic dialogue. Don't see this. No, wait! See this! It's actually pretty funny!

Grade: F-

Things to look for: the sets, the look on the cobra's face, the woodchopping scene that goes on MUCH too long, the two Latin lovers in the woods (what ARE they saying?), Erik Estrada.