Riddle Ranch

There are films (some being made today) that go far beyond the pale of critique,and 1935's "Riddle Ranch" stands tall in the saddle among such.It is another entry in Mitchell Leichter's Beaumont Pictures, Inc. series that were made as "A Black King Production" and, unless Conway Tearle was in it, as he was in four of them and still had enough clout in his long-past-prime period to at least get co-starring billing with an exceptionally ugly horse, the name above the title was Black King, The Horse With A Human Brain in..."whatever." These "Black King" films, filled with bad acting, bad writing, bad photography, bad editing, bad directing, bad horse breath and, no doubt, bad box lunches for the cast did achieve perfection of a sort...they were perfectly awful, and one has to admire perfection no matter which end of the scale it resides at. Being from Texas does not make me a judge of horse flesh, but I've seen every one of the "Black King" films---hey, some of us have just lived wasted lives--- and I have a sneaking suspicion that whenever Leichter gathered up the $86.99 necessary to cover all cost of production, he dropped by Fat Jones' hoss-rental stable and took advantage of whatever Blue-light Special Jones had going that day on horses, and rented the cheapest one possible, whether it resembled the preceding Black King or not. I could be wrong, since the laws of probability says there couldn't be two horses this ugly. The only thing that keeps this film from being as bad as "Plan Nine From Outer Space" is, at least the scenery was real. Well, I think it was but the photography was so bad, I can't even be certain of that.

Despite this movie's really, really bad reviews, I spent my $5 on this one because I'm a Charles Hutchison fan. "Hutch" is one of my heroes, and I just couldn't believe that his handling of this "Black King" entry could be all that rotten. I was right. I've no doubt previous reviewers suffered through a really poor print of this. Seeing the movie in 2011's 8/10 copy (which is underestimating the DVD's quality, as the movie was no doubt shot in haste by Robert Doran and never achieved the heights of a Burnett Guffey), it comes across as a reasonably exciting little "B".

Admittedly, one can still find fault. On the negative side, my main complaint is that the film ends somewhat abruptly. The plot is wound up quick smart and lacks the big action climax I was expecting. Nonetheless, plenty of good action material has gone before, including an ingeniously exciting race between Black King and a rival which comes to a most novel finish.

Other negatives include Fred Toones (although here he's not quite as stereotypically racist as usual), young Charlene Barry (now she is dreadful – really dreadful! – but her role is small), and even the lovely June Marlowe who is no great shakes as an actress and further undermines her attractiveness by making a hesitant attempt at a song.

Given the speed of shooting, Julian Rivero could be excused for not being entirely sure on occasions as to exactly which part he's playing: a straight Mexican villain or a Mexican villain laying on the south-of-the-border accent and pretending to be a good guy. Sometimes he gets these roles hopelessly confused – and that makes the ingenious plot just a little difficult to follow at times.

Now for the positives. Some of them I've already mentioned. First and foremost is the engaging story with its great action and crowd sequences – and I don't know where people get the idea that Black King is an ugly horse. He seemed quite presentable to me.

If we count Black King as a plus, third of the positives is Richard Cramer. Although he figures right down the official cast list, Cramer is actually the star of this movie. His role is not only the largest and the most important, but it's a difficult characterization which he plays with both charisma and conviction.

So, all in all, I count my $5 as well spent.

There are probably a gazillion of these old westerns out there and no one could get to all of them in a lifetime, though I know someone who is trying. The 'star' of the film is the horse Black King whom the publicity states for this poverty row independent has a human brain. If that's the case, he had a bad agent who signed him up for this dreadful western which is bad in all departments.

Among others is botched editing so the story if it wasn't incoherent before is now. Black King is one man horse and only David Worth can ride him and do it without a bridle or saddle the same way Bobby Diamond used to with Fury.

The horse is owned by Richard Cramer who is uncle to June Marlowe doing her best to imitate the platinum blond looks of Jean Harlow and little Charlene Berry. Cramer doesn't like Worth and has a lustful eye toward his niece. A little adult for the kiddie trade.

Julian Rivero is our villain responsible for any skullduggery afoot in this film including murder. He overacts to beat the band because he knows this is a Thanksgiving special.

Riddle Ranch, one stinkarooney of a western.