A small town in Alaska is being threatened by a legion of killer ants, which by some particular reason go crazy every twelve year and just wants to kill everything and everyone in their path. The town is soon evacuated, but some slack people persist with staying put to battle it out with the ants.
This has got to be one of the stupidest film I have ever seen. Sure, it was made directly for TV, but that does not mean it can be as bad as "Legion of Fire: Killer Ants".
The characters we are supposed to care about are: a lame guy from LA, an irritating teacher, a tired sheriff and finally his son, who screams in horror almost the entire film. Perhaps he had realized what he had got himself into when he signed up for this movie. And the otherwise gifted actor Mitch Pileggi, who stars as the sheriff, really should try to find better projects to work on when he is not shooting X-files episodes.
The ants are just as unconvincing as the characters, if not even more. When the movie is over, you will be very tired of close-ups of poor computer made ants that climb over sticks and rocks.
The movie also contains a lot of incredibly stupid action scenes. For example: when the two heroes are trapped between two flocks of ants out in the wilderness, they don´t realize that all they have to do is take one step out in water next to them, and they would be safe. Perhaps they were too scared to remember that ants can´t swim. And one time the kid is trapped inside a school bus, and there are hundreds of ants on it. But when the heroes arrive a few seconds later, all the ants are gone. Why? Many scenes are unconsciously funny, like when the heroes escape from the ants on a motorcycle and she screams, "Hurry! Faster!", when they easily could have walked away from the little troublemakers. And when all the mess is finally over, you have not seen a single ant been trampled to death, which probably would have been the easiest way to finish the little creatures off. Just jump on them, for Christ´s sake!
I could go on and on, but I think I will stop here. "Legions of Fire: Killer Ants" is a horror movie you will be laughing out loud to, which indeed also can be nice sometimes.
* out of * * * * *
