Empire of Ash III

A pretty accurate quote from one of the characters in this bizarre post nuclear holocaust disaster film. Really it's a type of 'West Side Story' but without the singing and dancing, as two gangs try to take over what is left of the earth. Why bother, you might say? And could be right after you watch this fairly inept film. Lots of smoke and explosions and fights but not a lot in the way of plot or logic. But if you lower your criteria, this can be fun at times.

It starts off as 'Mad Max,' then a bit of 'Porkys,' before a twinning of 'Cannibal Holocaust' with 'Dawn of the Dead.'

The director must have realised this wasn't the masterpiece he was hoping for and to keep people's (read that as 'men') interest in it, he throws in lots of gratuitous nudity. Every woman here seems to need to take a shower/wash at the most inopportune moments. They even manage to sneak in a game of strip poker while waiting to be attacked. Also strong lesbian and S&M overtones too to keep everyone happy!

And see if the ancient old man kept alive by the blood of the living, isn't a bit like Young Mr Grace from long running British sitcom, 'Are you been served?'

Being a fan of bad movies I couldn't take my eyes off of this horrible post apocalyptic playground of bad acting, and the hilarious special effects.

It's an action movie full of explosions and whaling guitar solo's throughout. Everyone is leatherclad and 80's. One of the best parts of this movie is extras who were clearly killed in battle reappear only to be killed again; that is they reuse the same actors, with no costume change.

Another amazing piece of movie magic is the apple 2e defense system that protects the rebel stronghold. It's just that and apple 2e with its pastel colored confetti screen saver on every scene. This clever futuristic defense computer was also given a women's voice with no effect other than the women trying to sound like a computer.

Where there plot holes you ask? Well, no noticeable ones, but you have to have a plot to have plot holes.

In conclusion and in summery this movie sucked so good. I loved it. If you are a fan of bad movies check this one out, you will be pleasantly disgusted.

It's very, very bad. The story just goes from scene to scene without any point whatsoever.

Don't expect a B-film gem here. This is not low-budget, it's just crap. More money would not have saved this film from itself.

It's not Mad Max, but that's fairly evident. There's no deeper story in play here. The action is the high school film project level.

The dialogues are just people talking. There's no snappy lines, no depth, no philosophy, no reflection, no wit, no cheesy one-liners.

It's not even enjoyable as a bad film. There's little to laugh at.

I would give 10 stars to Samurai Cop and none to this one. I'd give the Room 7/10 or 8/10. Those were entertaining.

There is no reason why you should watch it unless you're performing an autopsy on the Canadian film industry.

In the post-apocalyptic America, a group of survivors plans to launch a last ditch effort against cult leader Lucas when they are suddenly attacked. They are massacred with Claudia and her father taken prisoner. Baalca is Lucas' right-hand warrior woman. Harris and his mother escape and headed towards the Dakotas when they are captured by a patrol. Danielle is able to rescue Harris who plans to go back for his love Claudia. She reconnects with Chuck and his group including sidekick Iodine, two bosom babes, prisoner Rocket Man, and a computer called Dolores.

This is the definition of a B-movie. Being Canadian only adds to its B-ness. It is low budget. The acting is amateurish. There is plenty of poorly filmed action. There is an off-camera lesbian rape. There is a baby factory. There are some exploitation T&A. All the boxes are filled for an unmitigated B-movie.

It post-apocalypse time again! Everyone's decked out in leather gear, with open top jeeps and machine guns. There's mutant cannibals and weird cults, bad hair and a heavy metal soundtrack. Everything's fine in the Empire of Ash, except there's not much ash and plenty of greenery. In a post-apocalyptic world where cultivation is easily done, couldn't everyone get along and do a bit of farming?

Of course not! It's time to strap on an M16 and blow away loads of people! This film has Big Bill Smith as the high priest of a cult trying to breed some old guy called the Grand Shepherd with some young fillies, and that's about all the plot I understood there because I couldn't make out a single thing Bill Smith was saying. You've also got a lady called Danielle wasting all the bad guys, her arms dealing buddies and a young guy who's mum got killed (this guy also has the best 'Nooooo!' scene ever, so extra points there).

It's all just gun fights, explosions, boobs and cannibals, and nothing to worry about. What more do you need from a post-apocalyptic film? Nude oil massage? Well, there's one in here too! Empire of Ash 3 is just what you need - all thrills and no brains. Recommended!