Quotes

La Momie

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Beni: [after a shipwreck] O'Connell! Hey, O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses!
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the *river*!

Hangman: [Rick is about to be hanged] Any last requests, pig?
Rick: Yeah. Loosen the knot and let me go.
[the hangman says something to the warden in Arabic]
Warden Gad Hassan: [angrily] Of course we don't let him go!
[the hangman smacks Rick on the back of the head]

Rick: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
Rick: You don't have any children.
Beni: Someday I might.

Dr. Bey: [stutters in disbelief] What... How... Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies! Locusts! Anything but *you*! Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!
Evelyn: I am so very sorry. It was an accident.
Dr. Bey: My girl, when Rameses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a *catastrophe*!

Rick: I only gamble with my life, never my money.

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

Evelyn: [upon opening Imhotep's sarcophagus and he falls forward] Oh, my God, I *hate* it when these things do that.
Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He-He's still... still...
Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.

Evelyn: [preparing to open the sarcophagus] Oh, I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick: You dream about dead guys?

Rick: And unlike your brother, Miss, you, I just don't get.
Evelyn: [a little drunk] Ah. I know. You're wondering... what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?
Rick: Yeah, something like that.

Evelyn: [singsong] Patience is a virtue.
Rick: Not right now, it isn't.

Rick: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim, if the occasion calls for it.
Rick: [throwing her overboard] Trust me. It calls for it.

Beni: As long as I serve him, I am immune.
Rick: Immune from what?
Beni: [in Hungarian] Filthy animal.
Rick: What did you say?
Beni: I don't wanna tell you. You'll just hurt me some more.

Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.

Dr. Bey: We are part of an ancient secret society. For over three thousand years, we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world.
Ardeth Bay: And now, because of you, we have failed.
Evelyn: And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?
Dr. Bey: To stop this creature? Let me think...
Dr. Bey, Ardeth Bay: *Yes*!

Winston: So, what's your little problem got to do with His Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everybody else we've bumped into has died. Why not you?

Rick: Let me get this straight. They ripped out your guts and they stuffed them in jars?
Evelyn: And then they take out your heart as well. Oh, and you know how they took out your brains?
Jonathan: Evy, I don't think we need to know this.
Evelyn: They take a sharp, red-hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.
Rick: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
Evelyn: It's called mummification. You'll be dead when they do this.
Rick: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification.
Jonathan: Likewise.

Evelyn: Um... by the way... why did you kiss me?
Rick: I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Evelyn: Ooh!
[gets up and walks away in a huff]
Rick: [Calling after her] What? What'd I say?

Rick: The Book of the Dead? Are you sure you want to be playing around with this thing?
Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from... reading a book.

Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?
Evelyn: I am your sister.
Jonathan: Yes, well, that just makes you more gullible.

Rick: That's called stealing, you know.
Evelyn: According to you and my brother, it's called borrowing.

Evelyn: [In a darkened room] Abdul?
[no answer]
Evelyn: Mohammed?
[no answer]
Evelyn: ... Bob?

Rick: You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you, Beni?
Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.

Rick: Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Warden Gad Hassan: O'Connell! O'Connell! What are we going to do? What are we going to do?
Rick: Wait here! I'll go get help!
Warden Gad Hassan: Right!
[Rick jumps overboard]

Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: [laughing] Really? They do?
Evelyn: Oh, yes. Always.

Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?
Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because if he turns me into a mummy, you're the first one I'm coming after.

Evelyn, Imhotep: Death is only the beginning.

Rick: [trying to pack Evelyn's things into a suitcase, but, as he's packing, she's taking her things back out again] I thought you said you didn't believe in all this fairy tales and hokum stuff!
Evelyn: Well, having an encounter with a three thousand-year-old walking, talking corpse does tend to convert one.
Rick: Forget it! We're out the door, we're down the hall, and we're gone.
Evelyn: Oh, no, we are not!
Rick: Oh, yes, we are!
Evelyn: Oh, no, we are not! We woke him up, and we are going stop him!
Rick: We? What 'we'? We didn't read that book. I told you not to play around with that thing, didn't I tell you not to play around with that thing?
Evelyn: Yes, that's right, me, me, me, me, I, I, I woke him up and I intend to stop him.
Rick: Oh yeah? How? You heard the man, no mortal weapons can kill this guy.
Evelyn: Then we're just going to have to find some immortal ones!
Rick: There goes that 'we' again, y'know I wonder if-
[Evelyn slams the suitcase shut on Rick's fingers]
Rick: Ah!
Evelyn: Listen we've got to do something! Once the creature's been reborn, his curse is going to spread until the whole of the earth is destroyed!
Rick: And is that my problem?
Evelyn: Well, it is everybody's problem!
Rick: Evelyn, I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I signed on, I agreed to take you out there and bring you back, end of job, end of story, contract terminated!
Evelyn: Oh, that's all I am to you, a contract?
Rick: Ok look, you can either tag along with me or stay here... and try to save the world! What's it gonna be?
Evelyn: I'm staying.
Rick: Fine!
Evelyn: Fine!
Rick: Fine.
Evelyn: Fine.
Rick: Fine.
[leaves and slams the door]
Evelyn: Ooh...

[a scarab has just crawled under Jonathan's skin and he starts screaming]
Rick: What?
Jonathan: It's my arm! My arm!
Rick: [to Ardeth Bay] Hold him!
Jonathan: Do something! Do something!
[Rick flicks a knife out]
Jonathan: Not that! Not that!

Beni: You never believed in Hamunaptra, O'Connell. Why are you going back?
Rick: You see that girl?
[points to Evelyn]
Rick: She saved my neck.
Beni: You always did have more balls than brains.

Beni: [about Imhotep's sand storm] I loved the whole sand wall trick. It was beautiful. Bastard.

Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.

Winston: What's the, uh, What's the challenge, then?
Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, and save the world.

Rick: So, what's the scam, Beni? You take them out into the middle of the desert and then you leave 'em to rot?
Beni: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo. So this time I must go all the way.
Rick: Them's the breaks, huh?

Evelyn: [after destroying the museum library] Oops.

Jonathan: [they have just walked into a large room full of gold] Can you see...
Rick: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can you believe...
Rick: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can we just...
Rick: No.

Rick: [a bunch of mummies start coming out of the ground] Who the hell are these guys?
Ardeth Bay: Priests. *Imhotep's* priests.
Rick: All right then.
[Starts shooting]

Mr. Daniels: I'm going downstairs, get me a drink. You want something?
Mr. Henderson: Yeah. Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon.
Mr. Daniels: Alright.
Mr. Henderson: A-And a shot of bourbon.
Mr. Daniels: Yeah, okay, okay.
Mr. Henderson: And a bourbon chaser!
Mr. Daniels: Yeah, yeah, I'll get your damn bourbon.

Rick: [to Mr. Henderson] This door doesn't open. She doesn't come out, and no one goes in, right?
Mr. Henderson: Right.
Rick: [to Mr. Daniels] Right?
Mr. Daniels: Right.
Evelyn: [locked in the bedroom] O'Connell! Jonathan!
Rick: Let's go, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Oh, uh, I thought I could just stay at the fort and, uh, reconnoiter.
Rick: Now!
Jonathan: Yeah. Right. We're just gonna rescue the... Egyptologist.

Evelyn: Oh, my God. It's a... it's a sarcophagus. Buried at the base of Anubis. He must have been someone of great importance. Or he did something *very* naughty.

Evelyn: We must stop him from regenerating. Who opened that chest?
Mr. Henderson: Well, there was me, and Daniels here. Oh, and Burns, of course.
Mr. Daniels: And that Egyptologist feller.
Rick: What about my buddy, Beni?
Mr. Daniels: Nah, he scrammed out of there 'fore we opened the damn thing.
Mr. Henderson: Yeah. He was the smart one.
Rick: Well, yeah, that sounds like Beni.

Evelyn: [about O'Connell to Jonathan] Well, personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit.
Rick: [walking up from behind] Anyone I know?

[after seeing their commander turn and flee]
Beni: You just got promoted.
Rick: [shouting to troops] Prenez vos positions! Steady!
Rick: [to Beni] You're with me on this one, right?
Beni: Oh, your strength gives me strength.
[as the enemy continues to advance, Beni runs away]

Evelyn: Keep him busy.
Rick: [being thrown against a pillar by Imhotep] No problem.

Evelyn: Oh, for heaven's sake, girl, it wasn't that good of a kiss, anyway.

[first lines]
Ardeth Bay: [narrating] Thebes, City of the Living, crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.

Rick: Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.

Evelyn: So, what exactly is this man in prison for?
Warden Gad Hassan: Well, this I did not know. But when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself.
Warden Gad Hassan: [to workers in Arabic] Hurry up!
Evelyn: And what did he say?
Warden Gad Hassan: He said he was just looking for a good time.

Jonathan: [Trying to buy some camels from a Bedouin] I only want four! Four! I only want four, not a whole bloody herd! O'Connell! Can you believe the cheek?
Rick: Will you just pay the man!
Jonathan: Oh, for heaven's sake! Can't believe the price of these fleabags! Yes, happy. Very good.
Rick: You probably could've got 'em for free. All we had to do was give him your sister.
Jonathan: Yes. Awfully tempting, wasn't it?
Rick: [as Evelyn walks up looking beautiful in her new black clothes with a veil hiding her face except the eyes] Awfully...

Winston: [as the plane spins through the sandstorm] Here I come, laddies! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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La Momie

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