- James Bond: Are these pictures live?
- M: Unlike the American government, we prefer not to get our bad news from CNN.
- Alec Trevelyan: [hanging from his foot held by Bond's hands] For England, James?
- James Bond: No. For me.
- [lets Trevelyan go]
- M: You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter more interested in my numbers than your instincts.
- James Bond: The thought had occurred to me.
- M: Good, because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, whose boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to that young woman I sent out to evaluate you.
- James Bond: Point taken.
- M: Not quite 007. If you think for one moment I don't have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong. I have no compunction about sending you to your death. But, I won't do it on a whim. Even with your cavalier attitude towards life.
- [Q has blown up a dummy with an explosive pen]
- Q: Don't say it...
- James Bond: The writing is on the wall.
- Q: Along with the rest of him.
- Alec Trevelyan: We're both orphans, James. But while your parents had the luxury of dying in a climbing accident, mine survived the British betrayal and Stalin's execution squads. My father couldn't let himself or my mother live with the shame. MI6 figured I was too young to remember. And in one of life's little ironies, the son went to work for the government whose betrayal caused the father to kill himself and his wife.
- James Bond: Hence Janus. The two-faced Roman god come to life.
- Alec Trevelyan: It wasn't God who gave me this face! It was you, setting the timers for three minutes instead of six.
- James Bond: Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?
- Alec Trevelyan: No. You were supposed to die for me.
- [pause]
- Alec Trevelyan: And, by the way, I did think about asking you to join my little scheme but somehow I knew, 007's loyalty was always to the mission, never to his friend.
- [louder]
- Alec Trevelyan: Closing time, James! Last call.
- [Bond raises his gun to kill Alec but is tranquilized by a sniper]
- Alec Trevelyan: [walks towards Bond and looks down on him] For England, James.
- Alec Trevelyan: In 16 minutes and 43 sec - in 42 seconds, the United Kingdom will reenter the stone age.
- James Bond: A worldwide financial meltdown. And all so mad little Alec can settle a score with the world, 50 years on.
- Alec Trevelyan: Oh, please James, spare me the Freud. I might as well ask you if all the vodka martinis ever silenced the screams of all the men you've killed... or if you find forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women, for all the dead ones you failed to protect.
- Natalya Simonova: Do you destroy every vehicle you get into?
- James Bond: Standard operating procedure. Boys with toys.
- [Bond and Natalya are trying to escape from the train when Trevelyan talks to them on the loudspeaker]
- Alec Trevelyan: Good luck with the floor, James. I've set the timers for six minutes, the same six minutes you gave me. It was the least I could do for a "friend".
- [snickers]
- Natalya Simonova: What does he mean?
- James Bond: We've got three minutes.
- James Bond: Who is the competition?
- Jack Wade: Ah, an ex-KGB guy. Tough mother. Got a limp in his right leg. Name's Zukovsky.
- James Bond: Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky?
- Jack Wade: Yeah, you know him?
- James Bond: I gave him the limp.
- James Bond: Banco. It appears we share the same passions: three, anyway.
- Xenia Onatopp: I count two: motoring and, uh, baccarat.
- [James reveals a losing hand]
- Xenia Onatopp: I hope the third is where your real talent lies.
- James Bond: One rises to meet a challenge.
- Bill Tanner: Seems your hunch was right, 007. It's too bad the Evil Queen of Numbers wouldn't let you play it...
- [M walks in]
- M: You were saying?
- Bill Tanner: No, no, I was just... just um...
- M: Good. Because if I want sarcasm, Mr Tanner, I'll talk to my children, thank you very much.
- Dimitri Mishkin: Good morning, Mr. Bond. Sit. I'm Defense Minister Dimitri Mishkin. So, by what means shall we execute you, Commander Bond?
- James Bond: What, no small-talk? No chit-chat? That's the trouble with the world today. No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore. It's a lost art.
- Dimitri Mishkin: Your sense of humour does not sway me, Commander, I'm sorry. Where is the GoldenEye?
- James Bond: I assumed you had it.
- Dimitri Mishkin: I have an English spy, a Severnaya programmer and a helicopter stolen...
- James Bond: ...or at least that's what some traitor in your government wanted it to look like.
- Dimitri Mishkin: Who was behind your attack on Severnaya?
- James Bond: WHO HAD THE AUTHORIZATION CODES?
- Dimitri Mishkin: RUSSIA MAY HAVE CHANGED BUT THE PENALTY FOR TERRORISM IS STILL DEATH!
- James Bond: AND WHAT'S THE PENALTY FOR TREASON?
- Natalya Simonova: Oh, stop it, both of you! Stop it! You're like boys with toys!
- Xenia Onatopp: Thank you, Mister...
- James Bond: The name's Bond. James Bond.
- Xenia Onatopp: Xenia Sergeyevna Onatopp.
- James Bond: Onatopp?
- Xenia Onatopp: Onatopp.
- Q: A pen. This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the four-second fuse, another three disarms it.
- [Bond takes the pen, clicks three times]
- James Bond: How long did you say the fuse was?
- [Q takes the pen back and disarms it]
- Q: Oh grow up, 007.
- James Bond: They always said the pen was mightier than the sword.
- Q: Thanks to me they were right!
- Caroline: I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl, but...
- [a woman, Xenia Onatopp, pulls up alongside and smiles]
- Caroline: Who's that?
- James Bond: The next girl.
- James Bond: [while talking about the incident at Savernaya] They're not just criminals Valentin, they're traitors.
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: Well, what do you expect from a Lienz Cossack?
- James Bond: What?
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: This Janus, I've never met the man, but I know that he is a Lienz Cossack.
- James Bond: Group that worked for the Nazis against the Russians. Second World War.
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: You know your history, Mr. Bond. At the end of the war, they surrendered to the British, thinking they would help in waging war against the Communists. But, the British betrayed them, sent them back to Stalin, who promptly had them all shot. Women, children, entire families.
- James Bond: Not exactly our finest hour.
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: Still, ruthless people. They got what they deserved.
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: He wants *me* to do him a favor! My knee aches every single day! Twice as bad when it is cold. Do you have any idea how long the winter lasts in this country? Tell him, Dmitri.
- Bodyguard: Well, it depends...
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: SILENCE!
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: [as Bond points a gun to his head] Walther PPK, 7.65 millimeter. Only three men I know use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them.
- James Bond: Lucky me.
- [a gun is pointed at the back of Bond's head]
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: I think not.
- Miss Moneypenny: M authorizes you to observe Miss Onatopp but stipulates *no* contact without prior approval. End transmission, Moneypenny. Good night, James. I trust you'll stay - Onatopp of things.
- Miss Moneypenny: You know, this sort of behaviour could qualify as sexual harassment.
- James Bond: Really. What's the penalty for that?
- Miss Moneypenny: Someday, you'll have to make good on your innuendos.
- [Q appears, wheelchair-bound with his leg in a cast]
- James Bond: Morning, Q. Sorry about the leg. Skiing?
- [Q's leg "cast" fires a rocket across the room]
- Q: Hunting!
- Caroline: James, is it really necessary to drive quite so fast?
- James Bond: More often than you'd think.
- James Bond: Vodka martini - shaken, not stirred. And for you?
- Xenia Onatopp: The same.
- James Bond: How do you take it?
- Xenia Onatopp: Straight up - with a twist.
- Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun, Commander.
- James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.
- Natalya Simonova: He was a friend, Trevelyan?
- James Bond: Yes.
- Natalya Simonova: Now he's your enemy and you will kill him. It is that simple?
- James Bond: In a word, yes.
- Natalya Simonova: Unless he kills you first?
- James Bond: Natalya...
- Natalya Simonova: You think I'm impressed? All of you with your guns, your killing, your death. For what? So you can be a hero? All the heroes I know are dead. How can you act like this? How can you be so cold?
- James Bond: It's what keeps me alive.
- Natalya Simonova: No. It's what keeps you alone.
- Alec Trevelyan: [grabs a machine gun that's on the ground but Bond puts his foot on it first] Why can't you just be a good boy and die?
- James Bond: You first.
- [looks at Xenia]
- James Bond: You, second. UP!
- Alec Trevelyan: You're late, 007.
- James Bond: I had to stop in the bathroom.
- Alec Trevelyan: Ready to save the world again?
- James Bond: After you, 006.
- Alec Trevelyan: James, for England.
- James Bond: For England, Alec.
- James Bond: It's too easy.
- Alec Trevelyan: Half of everything is luck, James.
- James Bond: And the other half?
- [alarms begin to go off]
- Alec Trevelyan: Fate!
- James Bond: Hmm, never seen you after hours, Moneypenny... lovely.
- Miss Moneypenny: Thank you, James.
- James Bond: Out on some kind of fashion assignment, dressing to kill?
- Miss Moneypenny: I know you'll find this crushing, 007, but I don't sit at home every night praying for some international incident so I can run down here all dressed up to impress James Bond. I was on a date, if you must know, with a gentlemen. We went to the theater together.
- James Bond: Moneypenny, I'm devastated.
- James Bond: Alec?
- Alec Trevelyan: Back from the dead. No longer just an anonymous star on the memorial wall at MI6. What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?
- Natalya Simonova: On the train, when you told him to kill me, and that I meant nothing to you, did you mean it?
- James Bond: Yes. Basic rule: always call their bluff.
- M: [to Bond] If you think for one moment I don't have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong. I have no compunction about sending you to your death. But, I won't do it on a whim. Even with your cavalier attitude towards life.
- [Ourumov's car has just entered a crowded marketplace]
- General Ourumov: Use the bumper! That's what it's for!
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: James Bond. Charming, sophisticated secret agent. Shaken, but not stirred.
- [Zukovsky and his men laugh]
- James Bond: I see you haven't lost your delicate sense of humour, Valentin.
- [nods toward the stage]
- James Bond: Or your need for an audience. Who's strangling the cat?
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: [looks towards the stage] Strangling a cat?
- [Zukovsky looks over at Irina, who singing out of tune, then takes out his gun and shoots right between Bond's legs]
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: That is Irina, my mistress.
- James Bond: Very talented girl. Tell her to go.
- [Zukovsky looks to the stage]
- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: Irina, take a hike!
- Jack Wade: Now, let me get this straight, Jimmy - you shot him in the leg, you stole his car, you took his girl and now you want Valentin Zukovsky to set you up with Janus?
- James Bond: Yes.
- Jack Wade: Well, what are you going to do, appeal to his heart?
- James Bond: No, his wallet.
- Jack Wade: Oh, that might work.
- Xenia Onatopp: [whistles] Shh. I have a small surprise from your friends back at the barracks.
- Helicopter pilot: I think I've gone to heaven.
- Xenia Onatopp: Not yet.
- [She shoots him]
- James Bond: [after leading her to Janus at gunpoint] Well, I've had a lovely evening, you?
- Xenia Onatopp: Once again, Mr. Bond, the pleasure was all yours.
- James Bond: You'll understand if I don't call.
- Xenia Onatopp: I won't lose sleep over it.
- James Bond: [Karate-chops her neck, knocking her unconscious] Sweet dreams.
- Natalya Simonova: [Kissing in a field] I suppose there's someone watching.
- James Bond: There's no one within twenty-five miles, believe me.
- Jack Wade: [Out of nowhere] Yo, Jimbo!
- General Ourumov: This is General Ourumov. Come out with your hands above your head.
- James Bond: How original.
- James Bond: In London, April's a spring month.
- Jack Wade: Oh yeah? And what are you, the weatherman? I mean, for crying out loud... another stiff-ass Brit, with your secret codes and your passwords. One of these days you guys are gonna learn just to drop it.