- Ellie: Picture this: It's a couple of months from now, Tippy Von Schlagger opens her new copy of Dazzle Magazine and guess what she sees?
- Dot Emerson: A picture of Michael Jackson and George Hamilton passing each other on the color wheel?
- Ellie: See, I'm gonna get my name in the paper by creating a huge scene. As she walks down the runway, I'm gonna pelt Kate Moss with a jelly doughnut!
- Ellie Walker: I may be cruel, vindictive, and sarcastic, but I do have a heart!
- Dot Emerson: ...and a portion of your liver!
- Val Blumberg: Mitchell wants me back, you want me here; I've never been so popular!
- Ellie Walker: Don't you just feel like the last condom at Club Med?
- Val Blumberg: Golly, this is fancy! I feel so out of place!
- Ellie Walker: Don't let the absence of a salad bar disorient you.
- Dot Emerson: You are the kindest, sweetest woman I know. Of course, if someone were having a seizure in your bathtub, you'd throw in you laundry!
- Dot Emerson: Oh, Zsa Zsa called again. She's threatening to write a tell all book about her love life, wants us to publish it. What'd you say?
- Steffano: Same as last time, "we don't do the science fiction."