Dead Men Can't Dance

I was totally sucked in by the video cover.

I love movies about small unit warfare (Sniper, 84 Charlie Mopic, Platoon even) and a movie starring Michael Biehn (Navy Seals) couldn't be totally rock bottom, even for a video rental? No such luck, though. Instead of being a movie of a small unit stuck behind the lines, it turns into a "we're going to prove women soldiers are just as good as men, and we're going to prove it in North Korea" howler come exploitation movie - except there are no decent shower scenes.

Watch the great R. Lee Ermey wasted in a throw away role. Watch Hiep Thi Lay (Heaven And Earth) go through 'Nam flashbacks when faced with a concrete cylinder "tunnel" (people, she's a girl going through Ranger training, how old is she supposed to be in this - 35? 45?).

All I can say is that the producers of this junk should be fragged.

Why, you ask? I'll tell you why.

It's because "Dead Men Can't Dance".

Alex

I wanted so much to like a movie staring my two favorite actors--Adrian Paul and Michael Biehn. I'm not your crazed fan type. . .but somehow these two men have stuck in my imagination. Both have (for the most part) appeared in works with good scripts and intelligent characters.

Why this turkey? The story line-- women saving a male black ops team in Korea-- was painful. The film looked as if it had been shot with an old 8mm on a budget of $1.95.

I hope my favorite guys had a good time or got paid a lot of money. It was painful to watch.

The presence of action and adventure film veterans Michael Biehn (Navy Seals), Adrian Paul (the "Highlander" TV series) and R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket) couldn't resuscitate this flick... the dialogue and plot rarely rise above sophomoric quality.

A major exception to that observation is an excellent gritty monologue delivered by R. Lee Ermey as a Cold War relic of a CIA bureaucrat pining for the good old days early in the film. More illustration of the conflict between Ermey's old-school spook and the (aw, crap!) lady general in charge would have helped the film considerably.

The cinematography is right down there with Saturday morning "hop n'chop" martial arts films - disappointing, considering the crew was equipped to do better. I frankly was angry that this movie didn't have more polish and visual impact than it does.

Also, the technical adviser was either absent or not being listened to by the director and writers. The military details - vignettes of Ranger training and the way in which Biehn and Paul's sniper/spook characters operate ring palpably false - lack the authenticity which even the average modern TV techno-thriller series has - even the later, more disappointing seasons of "24" inspire more willing suspension of belief than "Dead Men Don't Dance."

Finally, the plot peters out toward the end. It's neither compelling nor plausible. You don't strongly care about the characters toward the end, you're just grateful for the end credits so you can get on with your life. The bad guys are predictably bad, the plot twists, while not quite telegraphed, are not terribly surprising either. If a plot twists out in the demilitarized zone somewhere and no one's paying attention, does it make any difference?

The title of this film should be "Night of the Living Dead Plot." You'll never get the hour and a half of your life spent watching this turkey back; paint your house if there's nothing on the tube besides this... watching your walls dry will easily be more entertaining.

I won't say this is the *worst* movie I've ever seen but it comes extremely close.

The heroine - discharged from her military assignment with the CIA - is given a chance to join a co-ed group of Army Rangers trainees by her female Brigadier General commander. Her group goes through such brutal training as having to poop their pants and stand in a pond. Her SERE training consists of having her shirt torn open, getting slapped and being shocked on her clothed thigh with a cattle prod immediately before she is congratulated on her ability to withstand this brief encounter and welcomed as a new Ranger.

For some reason there is an attempt at inserting a love interest in this movie. I really don't know why. Maybe there were plans for nudity which were later abandoned. Probably because there was no interest in seeing any of the actresses nude.

Other than the repeated scenes of the guys playing around with the tampon machine in the co-ed shower - where everyone is always fully clothed - the highlights consist of women in totally unbelievable combat scenes rescuing male soldiers. Wait... I remember some crying... And something about one of the male soldiers betraying his comrades...

Feel lucky if you miss this movie.

I caught this movie on television on a Saturday afternoon and the thing that caught my eye was the "artistic license" taken on military details. While I know that movies require a certain suspension of disbelief, I was aghast by the aggregious inaccuracies in this movie. The movie depicts a squad of female Army Rangers on a covert mission inside of North Korea. While there is no such thing as female Rangers in the US Army, I would be able to overlook that little detail if it were not for the fact that they looked absolutely silly in a hodge-podge of military acoutrements that they were forced to wear. The costume person on this one should be ashamed of themselves. How much time, effort, or money does it take to research the basics of military uniform? From the Ranger tabs sewn onto their black berets, to their camoflauge t-shirts. I honestly thought this movie was a comedy at first. I was shocked to see Michael Biehn and R. Lee Ermey in this. You would think that both would have insisted on a certain degree of accuracy.