Sans pardon

As a clinical counsellor working in the treatment area of relationship violence, I found John Ritter's portrayal of a man coming to terms with his own violent behaviour to be astonishingly realistic. Ritter manages to play the real life character in Unforgivable with a depth that reaches past a surface presentation of the overt behaviour of the individual he plays. Ritter, his co-stars and the filmmakers have achieved this masterful work by richly exploring the character's thoughts, feelings and learned behaviours that ultimately manifest in his abusive personality. Themes such as cycles of abuse perpetuating through family systems and the discovery of empowerment to change through overcoming denial and accepting accountability are also well presented in the film. Unforgivable can actually make for more than quality entertainment for general audiences, as its story telling, realistic outcome, and the quality of its performances bode well as education for audiences genuinely concerned with changing their own abusive behaviours.

A good film about an ugly subject: male-on-female domestic violence.

Here's some valuable back-story (not a spoiler): I've known Paul Hegstrom and his wife personally. According to them the film is an accurate portrayal of what an incredibly messed up man Paul Hegstrom was. Paul no longer *physically* beats his wife. However there are plenty of ways the physically abusive can continue the cycle of abuse without raising a hand. Anger issues and deep seated insecurities can be manifested in many ways than physically.

Another reviewer said, "I believe it was very courageous for the real life Paul Hegstrom to put himself out there and tell the world what he'd done. We all make mistakes, not many of us can admit it." Big assumption there. Paul Hegstrom has made a lot of money by promoting through his books and "counseling ministry" the stereotype that men are abusive and women are victims and that the inverse is rarely ever true; and where it is true the man must have done something to deserve it.

Take what good you can from this film, but don't presume that the central figure on which the film is based is a role model of genuine redemption. Unfortunately there are many physically abusive men (and although Hegstrom would deny it, women too) who overcome their physical abusiveness only to continue being equally abusive emotionally and psychologically. ALL forms of abuse are wrong and, unfortunately, this film may only perpetuate the stereotype that physical abuse is more evil than other abuses, and that only men are responsible for abuse.

Ritter, usually Hollywood's Mr. Niceguy, plays a holy terror in this tale of raging spousal abuse. Very effective film showing how a family can be torn apart for years by a lunatic who was created by the actions of his own father. Realistically played out, this picture could serve as the 'poster' movie for a problem which is apparently more pervasive than I had supposed. A definite must see.

I expected a cheesy 1990s era B or C movie coming into this, but was pleasantly surprised. This is not normally the kind of movie that I would review, but seeing as though it has had such little attention, I thought I would leave my thoughts.

This is actually a fairly solid movie that has a tangible and believable message. You actually feel connected to the characters, and I must say that Ritter performs his role masterfully. No spoilers here, but I think that this is a tight and tidy script with above decent acting that deserves some kudos for not trying to be more than it is.

This is more for Theo Robertson - but it can be for anyone with a similar viewpoint. Therapy CAN change an abusive person IF they decide they want to change. I am proof! I went into group therapy because I thought I had "a problem with my anger". I saw a lot of parallels between myself and Paul Hegstrom. I wasn't nearly as abusive, but I had the same type of characteristics, right up to the point of telling the counselor that I had "an anger problem", pretty much like Paul Hegstrom did. Just like he, himself, I learned that I had been taught that behavior, that's where it started. Knowing exactly what the problem was gave me a starting point to change it! Just like he did. The movie's excellent and I was blown away by John Ritter's portrayal. At first I didn't even believe it WAS him because I've never seen him play anything other than a humorous character. The movie's excellent!