A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

If you want to experience a fantasy world of mythical beasts and far-off lands there are several choices. Firstly you can dream it. Secondly you can read it. or thirdly you can see a movie about it, where all the imagination work is done for you with visual effects and camera work. So why on earth are there movies made which still require us to use imagination to make the images seem real, or even watchable??

I have no problem with the "B" or even "C" movie genre. Some old and very respectable movies are made using plasticine model monsters, and superimposed close-ups of real insects... not a crime, nor a problem. But in this film, even those tried and tested, basic techniques are done badly. Although, hang on, was that a cameo by the "Asteroid-millenium falcon eating-monster" from "The Empire Strikes Back"?? No, surely not!

I sometimes wonder how and why films like this ever get made. I mean, someone has to have an idea at some point, and the "story" grows from there, right? I couldn't even piece a story together out of this, the final product. So how on earth did anyone first answer the question "So, what's this film going to be about?" Initially titled "The Dark Castle" I believe... then had a name change to entice an entirely different audience. The added female voice-over at the start belies this attempt at trickery... in fact, I'm not sure that one couldn't take this film and it's packaging to the advertising standards commission, and hold the company liable for every copy sold under these false pretences.

I rated this film "2", and justify the rating thus... one point for creative use of the poem "Jabberwocky". And one point for all the laughs I got from everything in this film! And I wasn't laughing at the funny bits I assure you! So rather than try to explain what this film is... how about a little about what it isn't. It's not a parody or a spoof, this limp lettuce of a production is somebody's actual attempt to make a movie. It's not a horror... believe me, "comedy of effort" would be a better genre! And it most certainly isn't any kind of soft-core porn either... don't let that name-change fool you! All in all, shockingly bad and pointless stuff. Not for horror, fantasy, sci-fi, B-movie, c-movie, or even any-movie fans at all.

Ever.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world of mutants and monsters, A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell stars Linda Corwin as a sexy barbarian named Lea (nice legs, shame about the rack!), who gets into a spot of bother when she is taken prisoner by a big ugly brute and his reptilian pals.

I'm not a big fan of Troma's output: I love unintentionally cheesy horror and silly sci-fi, but I just don't get the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman's productions, the majority of which I find to be deliberately amateurish (now where's the fun in that?) and not at all funny.

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell, on the other hand, has me rather confused about its makers intentions: sometimes it follows the standard Troma route, offering extremely dumb characters, bad special effects, and gratuitous sex and violence; occasionally, however, it seemed to me that director Brett Piper wanted his film to be more than just tacky trash, throwing in snippets of poetry (Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky), an intriguing sci-fi slant (there is the suggestion that the planet may not be Earth, and that the humans are the descendants of space travellers), and more poignant moments (such as the agonising cry from the scarred warrior who yearns for company).

Whatever the director's intentions were, however, the film still sucks!

The action meanders aimlessly for 82 minutes, delivering countless badly choreographed fights, shonky stop-motion monsters, and dreadful acting, and anyone looking for a bit of sex to spice up the mind-numbingly dull action will be sorely disappointed. The result is a tedious film that is nowhere near as much fun as its title suggests.

I got this when i went on a splatter movie buying binge in a double-pack that cost just over £1, and i still felt robbed!. When i saw it was by Troma my hopes went up a bit, for i had recently watched an episode of "Shock movie massacre" on FTN which was about troma and said they specialised in making gory half-porn trash, but this, well, there was hardly any gore at all, except for when a lizard-man got a hole shot through him with a shotgun, despite the 'nymphoid' title there was no sexual content, aside from the bad guys clumsily falling onto the main character in what i can only assume was supposed to be attempted rape (more like they couldn't see where they where going with those masks on). The 'dinosaurs' don't look like any kind of dinosaur that really existed, but i think they where actually quite well-done, considering this was 1991, when CGI was fantastically expensive. There was even some scenes where the people and monsters where on-screen at the same time..not bad!. In all, this is a bad movie that you should avoid buying, but if you can see it at a friend's house for free, then do so..just don't be afraid to use the fast forward button, there is little dialog so you wont miss "the story"

A cable channel that specializes in grade-B drive-in fare aired this crapfest recently. Uber cheese is the only way to describe it. It didn't even have a camp factor. I suppose you could have fun with this flick watching it drunk with friends, but you'd have to be almost blind with booze to attain even that level of satisfaction. It's no surprise that absolutely nobody in this film has done anything else. Not even porn! Now that's a true mark of junk. Then again, I guess when three quarters of the film's characters are named "Goon" there's not much to stand out on a resume. Give this one a pass.

I read so many terrible reviews of Brett Piper's Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell. That i was convinced that this movie would be total crap.

On the contrary it is quite a good fantasy film. It wasn't always funny, but the intro Troma added was great, and the claymation creatures were really fun. I'd recommend this to both Troma fans, and films of mid eighties fantasy films like Gor.