- Jason Williamson: You were in the marines?
- Hollywood Montrose: Yes they were looking for a few good men and... so was I.
- Mom: [about Jason] Oh my God, he's in love with a... dummy.
- [faints]
- Hollywood Montrose: Wait a minute, honey, now I was gonna do that.
- Hollywood Montrose: [Jason's mom faints] Once again left holding the bag.
- [Jason's mom looks at him]
- Hollywood Montrose: Nothing personal.
- [Hollywood is driving Jason to the Hauptmann-Koenig truck accident]
- Hollywood Montrose: My little nip-and-tuck derrière is going to be in a sling if anything happens to that statue, those clothes or the royal jewels.
- Jason Williamson: I'm sure everything's gonna be fine.
- Hollywood Montrose: Oh, it's just the word "jewels." I have these beads and baubles- Mementos of old flames; souvenirs for old Mr. Left-behind, Hollywood. Oh, it's just so cheap and tawdry.
- Jason Williamson: Well, at least they thought enough of you to give you the gifts.
- Hollywood Montrose: [sobs] I bought them myself!
- [Hollywood sees the Hauptmann-Koenig trailer dangling on the Girard Avenue bridge; screams]
- Hollywood Montrose: AAH!
- [Hollywood frantically turns left off Kelly Drive into the parking area, still sobbing]
- Jason Williamson: Wow!
- Hollywood Montrose: Oh! Ahh! Someone please kill me! I don't want to live!
- Jason Williamson: [consoles Hollywood] Just breathe or something, would you?
- Jason Williamson: He's taking her to the roof. Come on, we'll take the stairs.
- Hollywood Montrose: Must we?
- Andy Ackerman: I'll watch the goons.
- [to Rolf and Egon]
- Andy Ackerman: Down on your bellies now!
- [Andy sprays the two again with hair spray]
- Gail: [aroused at the "new" Andy] Andy, you're so forceful!
- Count Spretzle: [the Count is kidnapping Jessie] Come on, come on.
- Jessie: Let me go!
- Count Spretzle: You want me to use necklace again? Come on.
- [henchmen Rolf and Egon are protecting the two as security guard Andy, now without glasses, observes. Jason, Hollywood and Gail runs upstairs from the presentation]
- Count Spretzle: Get out of the way. Get out of the way.
- [to Rolf and Egon]
- Count Spretzle: Go on, keep them back. Keep them back!
- Rolf: [Rolf and Egon stand guard] Come on!
- Hollywood Montrose: I knew this was coming, I'll take this.
- Andy Ackerman: Gentlemen, leave them to me.
- [Andy sprays the henchmen with hair spray, stinging their eyes; Rolf and Egon yells in pain]
- Andy Ackerman: That's extra-firm hold, too.
- Jason Williamson: What are you so nervous about? You were made for each other. Estelle, this is Clark.
- [grabs some faux jewels and places them in a small chest, then walks towards the still-frozen Jessie; speaks in a foreign voice]
- Jason Williamson: I command you to come to life.
- [When nothing happens, Jason plants a kiss on her wooden lips; brought back to reality, he sighs]
- Jason Williamson: I must be crazy. Oh, yeah. There is definitely something wrong with me.
- [Jason fully removes the sacred necklace, unknowingly breaking the near-1,000 year old curse place on Jessie, thus bringing the latter back to life]
- Jason Williamson: 2.5 billion women in the world, and I'm trying to score with a statue.
- Jessie: [sneezes] Ah-choo!
- Jason Williamson: Gesundheit.
- [Bless you]
- Jessie: Danke schoen.
- [Thank you]
- Jason Williamson: Your welcome--
- [shocked as Jason falls to the floor]
- Jason Williamson: Whoa! WHOA! Gah!
- Jessie: My prince!
- Jason Williamson: Stay-- stay back.
- Jessie: Why are you running?
- Jason Williamson: Why am I running? Why are you MOVING?
- [looks at the male mannequin]
- Jason Williamson: Why is she-- Gah!
- Jessie: I saw you in the water and in the fast wagon.
- Jason Williamson: [losing it] Water. That's it. It's those toxins in the river-- They do strange things to your brain!
- Jessie: My prince, why are you doing this? Have you lost you memory?
- Jason Williamson: My memory? This is a dream.
- Jessie: It is I, Jessie, your true love.