- [On stage during a power outage]
- Dixie: Well... alone in the dark with thousands of men. There is a God after all!
- [to the soldiers in Vietnam]
- Dixie: Shut the fuck up. It's Christmastime. I'm gonna sing you a little song.
- Dixie: [Appearing on stage late] So sorry.
- [British accent]
- Dixie: A little trouble over the channel you know, old pip.
- Eddie: Really.
- Dixie: Righto. We were halfway to Belgium when we ran out of... gas, I believe you call it.
- Eddie: That's funny. You don't look like you'd ever run out of gas.
- Dixie: Are you trying to get into my flak suit, honey?
- Eddie: I'm just trying to debrief you. So a plane without any gas. What did you do?
- Dixie: Do?
- Eddie: Yeah. Do. You know to keep up morale and all that.
- Dixie: Well... well... my co-pilot... lovely young boy but terrified, half out of his wits. You know, nervous. Terrified. I said to him, "This one's going to take a long... hard... pull." So I did! For two hours!
- Eddie: Two hours alone with you? That boy deserves a purple heart.
- Dixie: Well, it was purple, alright, but I don't think it was his heart!
- Dixie: You're gonna kill him you fill his head full of this crap!
- Eddie: Such as what?
- Dixie: Such as "Don't study," "Everything comes easy," "Life's a big party."
- Eddie: Oh, well, sounds good to me.
- Dixie: Oh yeah? You got three daughters. Why don't you give them the benefit of your wisdom?
- Eddie: Because my wisdom is for a son. I got a closet full of baseball cards...
- Dixie: Don't break my heart!
- Eddie: Alright. How long's it now been - eight years Michael's dead?
- Dixie: You shut up!
- Eddie: No. You let me talk. Now enough is enough here. That boy needs a father. He needs a man in his life - somebody he can talk to, somebody who can teach him, somebody who can show him.
- Dixie: What? How to screw the chorus girls?
- Eddie: Yeah, why not if he wants to... yeah, why not! That's life! Hey, I wish somebody was there to teach me how to kiss 'em, how to talk to 'em - how to jack off!
- Dixie: What did you say?
- Eddie: That's right, lady! Who's gonna tell him it's alright - that his thing won't fall off - his mother? Why don't you put a dress on him and forget about it?
- Dixie: I would, but then you'd probably make a pass at him!
- [Performing a skit for a television show]
- Dixie: You know, that son of ours is really something.
- Eddie: Why? What happened?
- Dixie: While I'm tucking him in bed last night, he suddenly says to me, "Mommy, is kissing dirty?"
- Eddie: Yeah? What'd you tell him?
- Dixie: I said to him, "Darling, sex between two people can be a beautiful thing."
- Eddie: Oh, yeah.
- Dixie: "But between four people... fantastic!"