Columbo: Caution: Murder Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

Like the other reviewers, I generally enjoyed this episode, which pretty much sticks to formula and has a decent murder plot with lots of real sleuthing for the good detective to figure out. However, there were two aspects that I think really kept it from being great - neither of which anyone else has mentioned. Firstly, I never was a great George Hamilton fan. Not only did his crazy tanning efforts totally disfigure his truly handsome face of the early years, he simply was not a very good actor. I think he was more truthful than humble when he said that he was a movie star, not an actor. There are none of the subtle changes in facial expressions and tone that the true stars like McGoohan and Cassidy implemented so well. He either smiles to Columbo, or loses his temper. There are none of the subtle in-between expressions, where you smile while indicating irritation or discomfort. Secondly, I thought the writing was dreadful. I have a simple test for the quality of a Columbo episode: see how many enjoyable quotes there are. The great ones had tons of funny quips about Columbo's quirks, and subtle hints by the detective that revealed his train of thought and suspicions. This movie had exactly one decent line (which I submitted to the site), when the victim chokingly states he can't breath, and Anders quips, 'I told you those things will kill ya.' There was not a single other line that I could rate as even half decent. All attempts at humor, which usually add so much to this series, were dreadful here, such as the infantile and overly extended scene where Columbo crashes into Anders' car, or the one where he picks up 'dog' from the pedicure, or when he asks about the cost of Anders' shirt and wonders why his own shirt is so much cheaper even though it 'travelled just as far.' Pullease. Can professional writers do no better than that? Finally, as in many late Columbos, instead of making the detective sound quirky and old-fashioned, it makes him speak like an old dimwit, who explains everything as if to a three year old - such as the demonstration with the typewriter pages being pulled out, or when showing Anders the cigarette butts. It just makes you wince. In this episode, it is the overall plot and the old Columbo formula that saves matters and makes it enjoyable - despite all its faults.

After being off the air for a while, Columbo returned with some new made-for-TV mysteries that, while not being as good as the original series, are better than the shows that were done in the later '90s.

"Murder Can Be Hazardous to Your Health" used the then (and I guess now, if you think about it) true crime shows as the situation for a murder. The murder is committed by a very successful, egomaniacal true crime show host, George Hamilton (in a nice bit of casting). His chain-smoking nemesis, who lost the job to him, played by Peter Haskell, attempts to blackmail Hamilton when he discovers a porno video Hamilton made with an underage actress in his salad days. Hamilton uses Haskell's cigarettes to deliver the death blow via poison, giving himself an alibi as well.

Columbo is brought in to find out what happened. You know the rest. Highly entertaining.

Our old friend, and cover boy for Tanning Quarterly, George Hamilton is front and center here. He has stepped on the toes of a guy who is out for revenge. Apparently, George did a porno film in his youth and the guy is blackmailing him. Hence, a murder plot using cigarettes and a deadly poison. George's character is a huge TV personality on a true crime show. He is arrogant and smug and in danger of losing his cash cow. The problem involves some cigarette butts he used. The victim was a chain smoker, leaving himself a target for the killer. George also uses a surveillance tape to cover his tracks. Of course, Columbo knows it's him quite quickly, but he has to gather evidence. It's a well made episode with some nicely put together deductions.

Real crime show Crimealert (think Crime Watch) host Wade Anders has not got to his position by being a nice guy and letter the better man get a fair crack at the whip. So when he was going for the job of host against the much more experienced Budd Clarke, he was sure to drop lots of remarks to the producers about how unsuitable a character Clarke was for the show's image. His remarks (and more) worked and he won the gig, much to the ongoing annoyance of Clarke. Years later and Clarke has returned to tell Anders to quit the job and arrange for him to take over in his place – or else he'll break the story he has uncovered that will reveal that a pre-fame Anders made a porno film. Unwilling to let his life be ruined, Anders puts poison in one of chain-smoking Clarke's cigarettes and waits. With him dead all is good but when Lieutenant Columbo is assigned the case and can't seem to get over one or two minor details, it looks like it won't be over any time soon.

Starting with the usual "perfect" crime, this Columbo film sticks well to formula as our hero picks up on some small clues missed by everyone else, gets his sights on a main suspect and doggedly goes after his man until the end – much to the annoyance of the suspect. With this film the actual crime doesn't totally ring true in terms of logic but mostly it works in the context of the film and it sets up a series of flaws to hook Columbo. After that it is the usual cat and mouse pursuit, "one more thing" etc until the resolution; by sticking to this formula the film works well and produces plenty of the material than fans will enjoy. At points it is unconvincing (would Anders' porno really have not come to light years earlier?) but generally these concerns are lost in the sweep of the film and they don't detract too much. The solution is a clever one and an enjoyable example of Columbo's skills as an investigator.

Falk is as good as ever in the lead role and delivers his usual mix of scruffiness, deductive skills but also showing a nice touch with the comedy aspects. Hamilton is a solid guest star and he works well with Columbo – getting frustrated by him, trying to hold it together but generally being closed in on. The two men work well together and their chemistry is part of the formula working here where perhaps it wasn't so good in other "new" Columbo films. With the lead two carrying most of the weight the support cast are only OK but does throw up a few surprises. Gilborn turns up with his usual reoccurring (but pointless) character while the presence of Penny Johnson in a small role caught me off guard as a 24 fan.

Overall this is one for the fans, who will enjoy it because (like the 1970's films) it sticks closely to formula. The story is good and is developed well throughout – all the way to a conclusion that is a satisfying demonstration of how sharp Columbo really is (as opposed to some endings that come out of nowhere and don't show him actually picking at it). The two leads are solid and work well together and the end result is a Columbo film that stands up well with the best of them – engaging, interesting, funny and typically Columbo. Well worth seeing (and this from someone who greets all the "new" Columbo's with suspicion and slight dread).

I sort of liked this Columbo movie its atmosphere, which was real thriller like and its approach even at times reminded me of film-noir, in the movie its first 30 minutes or so. It's really nice and done in a good old fashioned way, with the right camera angles and use of light. It doesn't mean instantly that this movie is a brilliant one though but its solid enough to consider this a good late Columbo movie entry. It's definitely a better movie than the average 'later' Columbo movie entry.

26 years after his previous Columbo movie appearance, George Hamilton returns once again to play the main lead opposite Peter Falk, again as the murderer, in a total different and new role of course. I liked him in his role and he was a good Columbo 'villain', who gave the good old Lieutenant some good competition. They had some nice sequences together. Problem with the 'modern' new Columbo movies always sort of had been that it didn't feature a good well known actor opposite Peter Falk. This movie obviously doesn't suffer from this problem. But I must say though that this movie doesn't feature Peter Falk at this best. He has certainly played the character better and his performance isn't quite consistent enough within this movie, which is probably also due to he movie its director Daryl Duke, who also directed the really dreadful movie "Tai-Pan", among many other projects.

It has a rather good and enjoyable story but the fact that the same sort of plot to cover up the murder had been used before in an earlier Columbo movie also doesn't help of course. It got used before in the 1975 movie "Columbo: Playback". Nevertheless it of course also still has plenty enough 'original' moments of its own with its story, even though of course in essence every Columbo movie is more or less the same. But oh well, that is what made the Columbo series so great and consistent. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

It also is true that within this movie more clues than usual are left out for the Lieutenant, which doesn't mean that the movie its murderer is more stupid or sloppy but I more see it as the writers being more overly enthusiastic than others. It doesn't make the movie or story bad and it in fact perhaps even makes it more enjoyable, to see Columbo hard at work and discovering all kind of small but important clues. Luckily the movie is also filled with some enjoyable effective relieving Columbo-comedy.

Simply a good late Columbo movie entry.

7/10

http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/