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Magie noire (1992)

User reviews

Magie noire

33 reviews
3/10

Cthulhu Mansion: Not as bad as they say, but still not great

I'm a big Lovecraft fan, trouble is very few movies based on his works are even remotely loyal and this right here isn't either.

In fact the movie has absolutely nothing to do with Cthulhu, at all! A gang take the wrong people hostage and all hell breaks lose, nothing original here but nothing too offensive or clichéd either.

Sadly the movie falls apart at the end which is a shame because with a decent finale it wouldn't have been "That" bad.

I was astounded how low it's IMDb rating was and can confidently say it doesn't deserve it. It's not great, but it isn't terrible either.

If you want a decent movie based on Lovecrafts works then, well you're kind of out of luck as I'm not sure I've seen one. Necronomican (1993) isn't awful I suppose.

If I were to make a Cthulhu movie you know what I'd have in it? CTHULHU! I'd make him all big and scary and resist the urge to use his tentacles inappropriately! I've watched a bit too much Japanese anime lately, if they ever make a Cthulhu movie it'll involve school girls and a definite R rating.
  • Platypuschow
  • Aug 4, 2017
  • Permalink
3/10

May both Lovecraft and Cthulu forgive the poor fools who made this mess

Don't go into this one expecting even a remote trace of Lovecraftian horror ...you won't find it. The only HPL connection to this screwball effort is the word Cthulu ...the word, not the idea, not the god, not the atmosphere or anything else. Just the word. One can't necessarily expect the actors of a movie like this to be top notch (though Jeffrey Combs of some other HPL-based films is certainly the exception), but in Cthulu Mansion you feel like you should be watching something recorded by teenagers on a digital camera. The film's dialog consists solely of clichés ...an hour and a half worth of clichés: imagine that! The lead bad guy is named Hawk (which wouldn't be funny even if this were a satire of trashy horror), and the characters so lack originality and human-ness that you'll find yourself wondering aloud, "What was going through the actor's mind when he/she was performing this scene?" Seemingly absolutely nothing. The killings are mild (the blood-shower drowning was cool but too good for this film) or stupid (the 1950s monster hands coming out of the refrigerator ...come on!), and the only genuinely positive thing I can say about the entire mess was that the mansion used here would be great in a better film. I so wanted this to be a better movie. The cover at the video store, the fact that it was Spanish and claimed to be based off of Lovecraft, all pointed to something awesome ...but I was horribly deceived.
  • jay-bethke
  • Jun 5, 2005
  • Permalink
3/10

One of the worst, take it from a fan...

I love B horror films, so I was expecting something that would at least make me laugh or perhaps keep my interest for an hour and a half. This movie was not even close to accomplishing either of those tasks. It amazes me how a production can be so bad in so many ways. There isn't a thing about this movie that makes it worth watching. The acting is bad, and not in a funny way. The actors look bored half the time. It's total s***. Why is it that these productions fail to live up to the standard of high school theatre? The plot is also garbage. The only thing borrowed from Lovecraft is the Cthulhu nomenclature. I mean, what does this movie even have to do with the Cthulhu mythos? Answer: absolutely nothing. The dialogue is so repetitive and inane... not even a bit of humour in it. The characters are also pretty flat. There wasn't a single one I cared about by the end of this monstrosity. The F/X (all 35 seconds of them) are also pretty bad. Again, not funny bad; just plain moronic.

The bottom line: I bought this from a local movie store (used) for $1. I should have bought a can of Pepsi, or played 4 games of Space Invaders. I am fanatical about bad trash cinema, especially horror, but I can't find a use for this thing at all. Bypass with extreme prejudice.
  • doctorgonzo23
  • Oct 9, 2004
  • Permalink
4/10

Hilarious trash.

"La Mansion de los Cthulhu" is surely one of the worst horror movies ever made.On the other hand I found it to be very enjoyable.This film is never scary,but it is quite amusing.It has awful acting,pathetic special effects and some of the most annoying characters I have seen.These people are so extremely stupid that I laughed a lot while I was watching their idiotic actions.I know that Juan Piquer Simon isn't very talented director,but I enjoyed his "Pieces" and "Slugs",because they were so over the top in their gore department.This one is enjoyable,because of its outrageous stupidity.You'll laugh until it hurts with this one-you can believe me!The bloody shower scene has to be seen to be believed!
  • HumanoidOfFlesh
  • Aug 22, 2001
  • Permalink
4/10

The World NOT According to Lovecraft

Well, this film tries to sell itself off as being Lovecraftian but really is more like crappion...or carrion. Really, it is not all that bad once you realize it has nothing to do with H. P. Lovecraft and is nothing more than a tale of a magician and how some hoodlums break into his home. The film goes right for your horror heart strings with a black cat, a huge mansion, lots of swirling dry ice, and other horror cliches. The house is impressive and the actors are so annoying(apart from Frank Finlay in the lead as the magician and Marcia Layton as his daughter)that you readily want something tragic to happen to them. What exactly happens...who is to say? Certainly not me as it is a very porous story, but the execution of the plot is done with some style. Despite some major, major flaws, the film is very watchable and entertaining in a bad its good vein.
  • BaronBl00d
  • Oct 13, 2001
  • Permalink

ick

i rented this movie because i wasn't feeling well and was looking for bad yet amusing or inspiring (either/or, bad doesn't always mean awful) horror to pass the time. this movie has nothing to do with lovecraft in any way, and the only thing i found amusing was one character's over-acting of the horror movie staple line "what have you done to my brother (mother, sister, aunt, hand, etc....)." hilarious, that. for evil supernatural forces, you would do better to look at the evil dead series, for lovecraftian horror look to the reanimator, which is modernized but still excellent and retains some of ol' h.p.'s touches. leave this dog alone.
  • janiceflux
  • Feb 27, 2002
  • Permalink
3/10

This is NOT a Lovecraftian movie, take heed...

Right, well I stumbled upon the 1992 movie "Cthulhu Mansion" (aka "La mansión de los Cthulhu") here in 2021. I had never heard about the movie before, but being a huge Lovecraft fan, of course I was instantly and immediately drawn to the movie and rushed to give it a watch.

And let me just say, perfectly clear, that this movie has nothing, and I mean that literally, nothing to do with Lovecraft or the Cthulhu mythos. Sure, it uses the name Cthulhu in the movie; it is seen on a book and over the gate leading to the house. But that is where the connection ends.

The storyline is not even remotely Lovecraftian in spirit, essence or atmosphere. This was, in all its simplicity, a mere average early 1990s horror movie, though it felt more like a late 1980s one, to be bluntly honest.

In fact the storyline was actually not all that bad, if you look at the movie with eyes that are not blinded with the hopes of it being a Lovecraftian movie. It was an archetypical horror movie from the early 1990s, for better or worse. So you know what you are getting yourself into here, if you are familiar with the horror genre from that period of time.

The acting in the movie was adequate, though you should not be expecting any grand Shakespearian performances. And taking the movie's limited script and storyline into consideration, I think the actors and actresses actually managed to fare well enough.

But for a horror movie, then "Cthulhu Mansion" was just too bland, bordering on being boring actually. Nothing scary was to be seen anywhere throughout the course of the entire movie. Or perhaps I am just jaded from a life-time exposure to the horror genre.

Visually then "Cthulhu Mansion" was actually adequate. There were some nice enough special effects in the movie, taking the age of the movie into consideration.

If you are looking for a proper Lovecraftian movie, then "Cthulhu Mansion" is not the movie you should sit down to watch.

My rating of "Cthulhu Mansion" settles on a mere three out of ten stars. Mostly because it was not a Lovecraftian movie, but also because the movie's storyline was just too scrambled, erratic and was lacking a proper red thread.
  • paul_m_haakonsen
  • Feb 9, 2021
  • Permalink
4/10

Not Great, Not Too Bad

Got a certain 80s vibe and is for certain not a scary but rather an amusing one - if you don't expect something really based on one of Lovecraft's works I bet you can enjoy the feast. Anyway, if you are stuck at home because of a rainy day or (corona these days) a good choice to kill some time with mindless fun.
  • Tweetienator
  • Oct 30, 2020
  • Permalink
1/10

No good

I read somewhere that this movie had nothing to do with H.P. Lovecraft, but was given its title solely in the hopes of attracting viewers. Because there's nothing about the movie itself that would attract viewers. I'm not a fan of the "so bad it's good" idea, it's just a mask for people who can't admit to liking lowbrow or low-budget movies. But this movie isn't "lowbrow", it's just bad. It's got no acting and no thrills, and possibly may be the only movie I've seen about which I didn't like anything at all. One of the very worst I've seen, and far worse than any of the films I've seen that turn up on the IMDb "Bottom 100" list. This is not even one you'd watch for curiosity's sake.
  • dementia13
  • Nov 12, 2009
  • Permalink
6/10

Not terrible, but just enjoy it for what it is. An 80's cheesefest

First of all don't rent or buy this movie if you expect something that's based on the works of Lovecraft, the only thing it borrowed from Lovecraft is the fact that they used the name Cthulhu a few times on a few old scrolls and that's all. They don't even mention it through out, i'm not trying to rip on this movie since it's just an slightly enjoyable cheesefest. And i didn't hate it, in other words they only used the name Cthulhu to cash in on the works of Lovecraft which is low if you ask me. Cthulhu's Mansion is all about a gang of unlikable criminal youths who unleash an evil force inside the house of an elderly magician and his daughter and assistent which they took hostage because of an failed drug deal, and like you would expect some of the character dissapear due to all kind of eerie unexplained entities. Like a girl who gets grabbed by an unseen creature which hides in an refrigurator, if you enjoy 80's cheese this one's for you.
  • ronnievanrijswijk
  • Jan 30, 2020
  • Permalink
4/10

Very mediocre horror movie regularly directed by Juán Piquer with chills , scary scenes and supernatural events

Below average juvenile horror that claims to be based on H. P. Lovecrft stories. La mansión de los Cthulhu (1992) deals with group of drug dealing petty criminals (Luis Fernando Alvés , Brad Fisher , Melanie Shatner , Kaethe Cherney) fleeing from the cops and along the way they kidnap an aging magician (Frank Finlay) harboring an amazing occult secret and his daughter (Marcia Layton) . As they are taken as hostages in their isolated mansion by some villain scumbags . The oldest-looking juvenile delinquents you've ever seen release evil spirits when they take over the magician's state . When the captors refuse to listen to the magician's horrible warning to release him unharmed , the mansion slowly releases its nightmare of horrors on the unsuspecting invaders. Beyond evil . Beyond Terror. Beyond the gates of Hell. The final resting place. The evil is free.

This is a humdrum adaptation with abominable dialogue , being inspired by H. P. Lovecraft stories from a screenplay and lousy filmmaking by the Spanish craftsman Juan Piquer Simón . As the plot lifts some scenes from other films , concerning a gang who abducts a magician and his daughter , taking as hostages at their home ; but once the delinquents reach the mansion , all hell breaks loose , being shown with no very special effects and that's a load of dung . The script by Juán Piquer himself contains restless terror and great loads of gore , blood and usual poltergeists phenomenon caused by the usual ghastly shenanigans that result to be weird creature appearances , cracking objects throwing fire , furniture flying , a number of knifes slashing a person , wall ooze , plants manifest as attackers , doors suddenly slamming and anything else . It is produced in medium/short budget by José Gutiérrez Maesso who long time ago wrote and produced a number of Spaghetti Westerns . The FX and make-up experts : Basilio Cortijo , Emilio Ruiz del Rio and Colin Arthur recreated the eerie story with low-grade and traditional special effects that are frightening and horrifying to spectator . It's actually halfway-low terror movie that achieved little success at the box office , though it will appeal to hardcore horror aficionados , that's why it packs absurd situations and cheesy but amusing frames . Although critics do not appreciate much this picture ; however has a kind of loopy , Ed Wood quality that must be endured to be totally considered . The fable is sometimes silly and laughable , though a few naif effects and action are professionally made . Some illogical parts in plot are more than compensated for the excitement provided by the horrifing scenes .

The motion picture was middlingly directed by Juan Piquer Simón . Juan , who goes by "J. P. Simon" on foreign releases , began in films as a writer and assistant director and continued his career by making short films and documentaries . Juan produced and directed "exploitation" pictures for two decades running . He often used numerous "older technique" FX such as transparency , matte paintings , rubber-suited enemies , reverse-footage to create certain images ; all of them were made by Emilio Ruiz Del Rio , Francisco Prosper , Colin Arthur and Juan Piquer himself . He was one of the main directors of the Spanish horror boom in the 70s and 80s specially for his quartet of horror films as ¨Escalofrio¨, ¨Slugs¨ , ¨Supersonic Man¨. ¨Cthulhu Mansion¨ and his greatest success and immensely popular ¨Pieces¨ , all of them being recreated by means of traditional effects . Juan owned his own studio and created and/or designed many of the simple and primitive special effects sequences you see in any of his many imaginative undertakings . Piquer , who passed away at 2011 , was a good artisan who realized a lot of fun as well as entertaining films . Juan Piquer who was director of the Mostra of Valencia (Spain) , displayed along professional career and specialized on all kind of genres as Terror , Sci-fi (The rift , The new Extraterrestres, Supersonic man) and made some adaptations about Jules Verne novels ("Fabulous Journey to the Center of the Earth" , "Mystery on Monster Island") . While his films have been universally panned by the prestigious reviewer s, they have a kind of quality that must be endured to be utterly appreciated . Rating : 4.5/10.
  • ma-cortes
  • Dec 2, 2021
  • Permalink
9/10

Great horror movie

Juan Piquer Simon made it again.

This Spanish director demonstrates once more that he is able to make an American type horror movie in spite of the fact of being Spanish.

After "Pieces" and "Slugs" this movie is the third Simon`s horror film and it`s as amusing as the other two.

Several young punks kidnap a magician and his two assistants after their show in a fair and make them go to the magician`s house.

First they seem to feel safe in the magician`s old mansion... But the mansion has a secret and our young delinquents couldn´t have chosen a worse place to hide...

Why?...

Well you must see the movie to find out.

If you like good horror movies, you`ll enjoy this one...
  • f.gimenez
  • Feb 17, 2001
  • Permalink
7/10

Interesting Lovecraftian inspired movie

Not bad really, this movie has plenty of pro's and con's so I'm just going to cover the obvious ones to me. The biggest negative in this movie was the whole unraveling of a plot. It felt shallow, a lot of the time there is little going on that indicates the movie is moving forward to a great reveal. Viewers like to have some clues or something about what is going on. On that note, don't expect much in this movie.

Pro's. Well there are quite a few when you look at the effort in general put into this movie. There is good music, pyrotechnics, cool lighting and monster/makeup fx and these sorts of production efforts. Combined with adept directing and a lot of action there is obviously a lot of effort put into this movie but it ultimately felt very tiring by the end of it all. For the viewer, that's not a good thing.

It's no Night of the Demons but you can see the inspiration in general from movies like Demons (1985) and its sequel going by the casting and acting. Ultimately Cthulhu Mansion is predictable, lacks interesting characters and story depth. I really wanted to rate this higher.
  • tvcarsd
  • Feb 9, 2021
  • Permalink
1/10

Lovecraft twirling in his grave

Oh my. This is far and away one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's an affront to anyone who has ever enjoyed an H.P. Lovecraft story. I don't know what else to say, except "avoid at all costs". If you're in a Lovecraft-y kind of mood next time you're at Blockbuster, skip right over this putrid MST3K reject and rent The Reanimator or In The Mouth Of Madness instead.
  • zombear
  • Sep 18, 2002
  • Permalink
1/10

I saw this movie once....ONCE!

This is the kind of movie that makes you want the hour and a half of your life back. This movie should be in every film class to show new directors what not to do. I saw this movie over a year ago, but as hard as I try, and with other reviews I've read cannot think of a single redeeming quality, other that the ability to MST3K the Hell out of it.
  • ShadowFace_Productions
  • May 3, 2003
  • Permalink
2/10

Great if you love cheesy horror movies, horrible if you don't.

  • jjmoreta
  • Mar 25, 2004
  • Permalink
3/10

J.P. Simón, inspired by H.P. Lovecraft.

The opening credits to Cthulhu Mansion are accompanied by numerous clichéd horror sound effects, followed by a blast of Bach's 'Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565' (you know the one!) and an image of Baphomet and a pentagram. Talk about cheesy! Sadly, the film isn't quite the wonderfully schlocky treat it at first appears to be, Juan Piquer Simón seemingly directing without the aid of a script and failing to deliver the same level of goofiness and goriness that made his slasher Pieces (1982) and creature feature Slugs (1988) so entertaining.

The film follows a gang of hoodlums-Hawk, Billy, Candy, Eva, and Chris-who, after a drug deal at a fairground turns violent, take sideshow magician Chandu (Frank Finlay) hostage, along with his daughter Lisa (Marcia Layton) and their manservant Felix (Frank Braña). The thugs decide to lie low at Chandu's mansion while the heat dies down, but find themselves victims of the malevolent supernatural power that lurks in the cellar.

The majority of the film consists of random inexplicable events (flying furniture, typewriter working by itself, home movie projector turning itself on) and unremarkable death scenes that, while certainly dumb, aren't all that fun or particularly original: randy Candy (Kaethe Cherney) is pulled inside a fridge by something creepy (shades of Ghostbusters), bad guy Billy (Paul Birchard) is trapped in a shower cubicle that rapidly fills with blood (1981 TV movie This House Possessed), Eva (Melanie Shatner) is possessed and attacked by ivy vines (The Evil Dead), her brother Chris (Luis Fernando Alvés) turns manky while he is in bed (The Exorcist), and Hawk (Brad Fisher), the gang's leader, is impaled by flying knives (Carrie).

A complete lack of logic, no nudity (unless you count glimpses of Billy in the shower-I don't!), no decent gore to speak of, and no Cthulhu (the only connection to Lovecraft's 'old one' is its name on the cover of an antique magick book) go to make this a massively disappointing muddled mess of a movie.
  • BA_Harrison
  • Aug 24, 2021
  • Permalink
5/10

JP Simon....

is one of the most laughably inept film makers I've ever encountered. This movie is hilarious. I don't even remember it too well, i just remember laughing. It's slicker than a lot of Simon offerings, but just as dumb as most. It's just funnier than his earlier works. I like the part where the girl throws the sandwich, which is pretty much all I remember. If you like bad movies you'll like this...
  • rutt13-1
  • Jun 16, 2001
  • Permalink

JUNK!!!

The name "Lovecraft" is what made me want to buy this film. But to my disappointment, thats exactly what this film was!! It's about a gang of punk teenagers that go to an amusement park and one guy ends up killing a drug dealer. they all get scared and decide to hitch a ride with the carnivals magician and make him take them to his mansion. He warns them not to stay there but they have not choice, the cops are looking for the killer of the guy. Well, one of the members is hurt and his sister takes care of him. Meanwhile all of this nonsense is going on. All the killings that are so stupid their laughable. the plot gets more and more worse and the actors are no-names that we don't really care if they die or do something else. This film is a 1 on my rating. DON'T BUY THIS ONE get "Re-Animator" or something else by Lovecraft instead.
  • lthseldy1
  • May 28, 2000
  • Permalink
2/10

Ick

This is without a doubt, the worst movie I've ever seen. Back in my Lovecraft-freakish days, I would scour video stores for every Lovecraft based film I could find. Oh, I rue the day I stumbled upon this one. Horrible plot, worse acting, and just plain bad production values abound in this film. however, I gave it a two because of one moment of HPL-inspired brilliance. If you've seen the film, you know what I'm talking about; if you haven't, it's not worth sitting through the whole film just to see this one bit.
  • soror_yzbl
  • May 21, 2001
  • Permalink
7/10

Don't believe the hate

Genuinely shocked how poorly this film is rated. Sure, it's not a sophisticated lovecraftian psychological yarn - but it is a totally entertaining over-the-top haunted house rollercoaster with more gothic atmosphere than you can shake a stick at. The great classic effects and gross-out makeup alone make it worth a watch and the legitimately excellent score pushes it along. Definitely will be rewatching this one.
  • buzzcutsmultimedia
  • Sep 24, 2021
  • Permalink
4/10

Lovecraft sues from beyond the grave!

  • udar55
  • Apr 28, 2009
  • Permalink
7/10

Cthulhu Mansion (1992)

  • jonahstewartvaughan
  • Mar 3, 2023
  • Permalink
4/10

Nothing "Lovecraft-ian" but the title...

The write-up for this video touts "Based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft". The only thing even remotely based on H.P. Lovecraft is the name "Cthulhu" in the title. There are absolutely NO similarities between the great horror writing of H.P Lovecraft and the writer of this piece of junk.

I know some people would say that a film like this can't be taken too seriously, you have to have fun with B horror films, right? Well, this film wasn't even campy enough to make it funny. The plot is so shaky and filled with holes it should be laughable, but it is so boring and uninteresting that you can't seem to do that too often.

Oh sure, there are some fun moments - the bag of cocaine being pulled across the floor by an obvious "fishing wire", the "Candy in the kitchen" scene, but all in all there wasn't much to even laugh about.

Another problem this film had was poor editing. Some cuts are WAY too abrupt - even for fast paced horror action. Hmmm, don't let me forget to say that the death scenes are unoriginal and terribly uninteresting.

This film squeaked out a 4 rating from me because it wasn't so bad I had to turn it off, but I wouldn't recommend it to those looking for a good horror film. I also wouldn't recommend it to those looking for a B horror film to have fun with - you'll be hard pressed to do so.
  • Dolf
  • Jan 4, 1999
  • Permalink

Very bad, but entertaining J.P. Simon stuff.

  • willywants
  • Dec 13, 2003
  • Permalink

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