Gypsy Angels

I wasn't expecting much here, maybe a mediocre movie with some silliness. But what I got was a goofy TV-movie (spliced together with extra scenes to drag it out). Ostensibly about a hot young blonde stripper who can't keep her hands off a dumpy middle-aged pilot. The casting is bad, the acting is rough, the writing is all over the place. Even the soundtrack is terrible. Watch it for Vanna White, watch it for laughs. Just don't watch it twice.

GYPSY ANGELS (R) - Vidmark Video (Original 1994 VHS distributor): Brother, you just ain't seen bad acting until you've seen a pre-Wheel of Fortune Vanna White, playing the leather jumpsuit-clad squeeze toy of a macho barnstorming pilot (executive producer Gene Bicknell, who looks a lot like John Sayles but acts like Merle Haggard) defiantly proclaim: 'Well let me tell you one thing mister, I am one fine stripper. Real kinky, you know what I mean? Yeah, you betcha!' If the bellbottoms, aforementioned jumpsuits and Lyle Waggoner on display here are any indication, this is a movie the top-billed Vanna (at least Gene correctly surmised nobody would pay to see HIM) would likely have preferred to keep buried in the past, since most of it was shot in 1980. Not only can she not act, but she appears to be on the verge of puking during her big love scene with Gene (in which she innocently begs 'Love me. Please...love me.') To her credit, Vanna does reveal one of her vowels in said romp in the hay. Otherwise, toss this one a Golden Turkey Award. I give it a 1.

Fortunately for Gene Bicknell and Vanna White, they both made their fortunes and became multimillionaires outside of acting. Vanna is easy on the eyes, so she made the show watchable. It was Vanna's very first role at just 23 years old, but Bicknell's acting has no excuse.

This is my first, knowing exposure to anything with the Allen Smithee stamp on it. After seeing it, it's understandable that the director wants to be disassociated from it. It's about a lawyer-turned-stunt-pilot, and his romance with a big-time-dancer-wannabe. The poor attempts to spice up this story involve its telling by a wheel-chair-bound friend of the flyer; a plane race to win cash to pay for more sophisticated wings which might be the first to accomplish a difficult stunt; an amnesia-producing crash and its effects; and the stunt, itself. I don't want to directly offend anybody, so, I'll just suggest that certain actors pay heed to the "don't quit your day job" warning.