Tracey Ullman credited as playing...
Catherine Falconetti
- Teresa Carmela Santangelo: I never expected to be playing pinochle with God.
- Catherine Falconetti: I know what you mean.
- Teresa Carmela Santangelo: And if I had, I would have expected him to play fair. If it hadn't been God, I would have sworn he was cheating.
- Joseph Santangelo: Two pounds of sausage for a runt like you?
- Catherine Falconetti: Not just me.
- Joseph Santangelo: Too bad. You could use a little extra meat.
- Catherine Falconetti: Spare me the beauty advice and give me the sausage.
- Catherine Falconetti: [Lino slaps Catherine] What was that for?
- Lino Falconetti: For puttin' crap like that on the table.
- Catherine Falconetti: Crap? You heard your friend Santangelo the food was great!
- Lino Falconetti: Great? Since when does love know about great food?
- Catherine Falconetti: Love? What are you talkin' about love?
- Lino Falconetti: What do you think this was all about? The Good Neighbor Policy? You're marrying the guy! It's settled. I give him my word!
- Catherine Falconetti: What? Your word? What do you think this is? The old country? This is America!
- Lino Falconetti: *This* is my house!
- Joseph Santangelo: Are you scared? No? Hey, remember that day at the shop? That day I told you I'd show you where I could put my thumb? Do you understand?
- Catherine Falconetti: Oh!
- Joseph Santangelo: Now do you understand? Now I'm going to show you what else I can put there.
- Catherine Falconetti: Eh! Eh! Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Santangelo. Santangelo! Santangelo. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh-oh-oh!
- Joseph Santangelo: What's the matter? Am I hurtin' you?
- Catherine Falconetti: Bed springs are creakin' like crazy. You're mother's right next door.
- Joseph Santangelo: Don't worry. She sleeps like a log.
- Catherine Falconetti: Oh. Ohhh. Oh! Oh! Oh! Santangelo. Oh, Santangelo. Santangelo. Santangelo. Santangelo. Oh, Santangelo. Santangelo! Santangelo!
- Catherine Falconetti: Holy Saint Anna, mother of our blessed virgin, please keep me from giving birth to a chicken.
- Catherine Falconetti: It's superstition. You don't know.
- Carmela Santangelo: Oh, yeah? You'd be surprised what I know.
- Catherine Falconetti: You can't bring dead things back to life.
- Joseph Santangelo: What kind of things for a Catholic girl to say - especially on Easter Sunday.