Mike Judge in Beavis et Butt-Head (1993)

Quotes

Beavis et Butt-Head

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?
Butt-head: Beavis, it's not even normal to ask.

Beavis: [as Cornholio] Do you have any T.P.? T.P. for my bunghole? I would hate for my bungholio to get polio.

Butt-head: [repeated pickup line] Uh, hey, baby.

Butt-head: [Beavis & Butthead after "sensitivity training"] How about a hug?
Beavis: Shut up! Or I'll wound your inner child! Heh hmmhh heh! And then I'll kick your ass!

Maxi Mart Store Manager: [seeing Beavis and Butthead reading at a porn magazine] Hey! Are you gonna stare all day or are you gonna buy something?
Butt-head: Uh, I'm gonna stare all day huh huh.

Butt-head: If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn't come back... you're a dumbass!

Beavis: Yes, yes, fire, fire, fire.

Beavis: What?
Butt-head: Uh... I dunno, what?
Beavis: What the hell are you talking about?
Butt-head: Uh... I dunno. You're just a butt-knocker.
Beavis: Don't call me a butt-knocker, you SON OF A BITCH!

Beavis: Hey Beavis, you know how sometimes we get a ride home from school, and there's all those dudes crammed together in the backseat?
Butt-head: Yeah, why?
Beavis: Um, heh heh, it is normal to get wood?
Butt-head: Beavis, you boner-popping pervert... it's not even normal to ASK!

Butt-head: Some people are dumb.

[They watch a Yanni video]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis. This guy's your dad.

Beavis: [In a Third world accent] My people; we are without but one bunghole.

Woman in music video: I feel like such an ass.
Butt-head: I feel like an ass too. Beavis, go out and get me an ass.
Beavis: Heh-heh, okay. Would you like some boobs to go with that?

Butt-head: Kick 'em in the nads, Beavis!

Butt-head: Beavis, I told you I wasn't gonna let you touch the remote anymore. Now, give me that, buttknocker.
Beavis: No, way. And stop calling me buttknocker!
Butt-head: Give it here before I kick your buttknockering ass!
Beavis: Stop calling me that, Butt-head! Stop it!
Butt-head: Buttknocker!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! I'm gonna kill you, Butt-head! I swear to go God, I'm gonna kill you!
Butt-head: You and what other buttknocker?

[repeated line]
Butt-head: This is going to be cool.

Butt-head: Is this Primus?

Butt-head: You didn't score.
Beavis: Yeah, but I came close.
Butt-head: Yeah, but close only counts in horseshoes and like... lemonade.
Beavis: What?

Bradley Buzzcut: Shut up or I will kill you. Do you understand? Shut up or I will physically kill you.

[repeated line]
Beavis: Damn we're smooth.

[watching a music video]
Beavis: Hey Butthead, you know I'd like to kiss my ass.
Butt-head: Beavis, why the hell do you wanna kiss your ass?
Beavis: Cos I wanna see what my bunghole looks like.
[he tries and falls of the couch]

Butt-head: Beavis, you're one miserable son of a bitch.

Old Woman: [looking for her spectacles after losing them] What happened to my spectacles?
Butt-head: Your testicles? Huh Huh.

Beavis: [watching a video with a girl in a tub] She doesn't wanna get up because she's got morning wood.
Butt-head: Uh... Beavis? I hope you were joking.
Beavis: [long pause] Uh... Oh yeah. That's pretty funny.
Butt-head: Dumbass!

Beavis: [shouts] Turds! Turds!
Butt-head: Where? I don't see any turds.
Beavis: Right there. In the middle of the circle he's riding his tricycle in.

[repeated line]
Butt-head: We're gonna be rich.

Butt-head: Beavis, you're one pathetic piece of crap.

Bradley Buzzcut: [throws a dodge ball at Butthead and hits him in the head and dazes him] Good head, Butthead!
Butt-head: Uh, thanks. Huh, huh.

Beavis: Ah, shut up, Butt-Head! Keep that up, and I'm gon' put the smackdown on yo ass, biatch!

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