- Patrick Zevo: I can't even eat. The food keeps touching. I like military plates, I'm a military man, I want a military meal. I want my string beans to be quarantined! I like a little fortress around my mashed potatoes so the meatloaf doesn't invade my mashed potatoes and cause mixing in my plate! I HATE IT when food touches! I'm a military man, you understand that? And don't let your food touch either, please?
- Patrick Zevo: Are you taking my duplication investigation seriously or are you disrespecting my duplication investigation?
- Leslie Zevo: Four stores and many Christmases ago, my father brought forth a factory conceived in innocence and joy and squeezable fun for everyone.
- Alsatia Zevo: You know, you remind me a lot of my brother.
- Patrick Zevo: That's impossible. We're exact opposites.
- Alsatia Zevo: That's what I mean. He's all silly and soft on the outside and on the inside he's really strong and you're just the opposite.
- Researcher: Is this room getting smaller or am I bloating?
- Asian Researcher: What!
- Leslie Zevo: Oh look, we're being attacked by a crossword puzzle.
- Leslie Zevo: I'd hug you but your body is over there.
- Alsatia Zevo: I really miss my heart.
- Leslie Zevo: We'll get you two back together soon.
- Leslie Zevo: You tried to kill us all...
- General Leland Zevo: Heh... c'mon, Leslie... can't you take a joke?
- Leslie Zevo: Oh yeah! I love jokes! I love all kinds of jokes. But you know what I don't like? I don't like people trying to kill me, hurting my family and my friends, and destroying the whole world as I know it. That just doesn't sit well with me.
- Alsatia Zevo: I'm very disappointed that you never once had an applesauce sandwich on your menu.
- Joe at Cafeteria: Applesauce? Miss Zevo, the sandwich will get all soggy
- Alsatia Zevo: Oh, I don't mind.
- Joe at Cafeteria: I make you one tomorrow, okay?
- Alsatia Zevo: Okay, thank you very much. I'll just go ahead and have the mayonnaise sandwich again today, then.
- General Leland Zevo: Put this place on red alert. They're as good as dead.
- Hagenstern: That's your son, sir.
- General Leland Zevo: War knows no relatives.
- Leslie Zevo: In the words of Mahatma Gumby, "We are toys of tolerance, but there's only so much that a toy can tolerate."
- Leslie Zevo: Today may be the beginning of the end... or the end of the beginning... or the beginning of the beguine.
- Leslie Zevo: This doesn't look like vomit.
- Asian Researcher: Sorry sir, thats diarrhea.
- Leslie Zevo: Send that over to the Poop department.
- Hagenstern: Should I deactivate the sea swine, sir?
- Leslie Zevo: A sea swine? Oh, yes, you deactivate the goddamn sea swine!
- Alsatia Zevo: [Leslie's reading her a bedtime story] I don't get it.
- Leslie Zevo: It's a fable.
- Alsatia Zevo: No, I don't get why Daddy left his business to Uncle Leland.
- Leslie Zevo: I know, it would've made more sense for him to leave it to Owen.
- Alsatia Zevo: Or to you.
- [last lines]
- Leslie Zevo: Patrick?
- Patrick Zevo: [invisible, blended into the wide open field] Yeah?
- Leslie Zevo: Just checking!
- General Leland Zevo: Hey, remember that kid, flew a beechnut right into Red Square?
- Patrick Zevo: Beechcraft.
- General Leland Zevo: What?
- Patrick Zevo: He flew a beech *craft* not a beech *nut*.
- Asian Researcher: This vomit is very Anglo.
- Gwen Tyler: [singing] In the still of the night, I held you, held you so tight.
- Alsatia Zevo: Eww I don't think you should do that again.
- Gwen Tyler: Oh okay.