Quotes

Arrête, ou ma mère va tirer!

Ross: [to Joe] Is there anything else you or your *mother* would like to tell me?
Tutti Bomowski: Yes, Detective, there is. Both my son and I think you're an asshole!

Tutti: For now you can keep your pants on, Mister Parnell. But just remember one thing: I'll be back!

Joe Brofmowski: Why didn't you answer when I called?
Tutti Bomowski: That was you? You never called.
Joe Brofmowski: That was me, why didn't you pick up the phone?
Tutti Bomowski: Every year when I'm about to come out to visit, you call and say it's not a good time, so I decided not to answer the phone this time in case you called.

Joe Brofmowski: Mom, what're you doing here?
Tutti Bomowski: I've got to change you.
Joe Brofmowski: [looks down and realizes he's wearing a diaper] Mommy! I don't want to be changed.
Tutti Bomowski: [holding up oversized Huggies diapers and baby powder] I've got to change you.
Gwen Harper: I can change you!
Tutti Bomowski, Gwen Harper: Change you... change you... change you...
Joe Brofmowski: [terrified, firing gun in the air] WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME?

Tutti Bomowski: [singing softly and contentedly as she sloshes and scrubs Joe's prized .45 in the dishpan] This is the way we wash our gun... wash our gun... wash our gun...

Tutti Bomowski: [to the flight attendants] It was so cute, when he was 6 years old he walked into the kitchen and said "Mommy! My peepee's stuck in my zipper!"

Joe Brofmowski: Mom, I don't like eggs.
Tutti Bomowski: If you don't eat them now, they'll be waiting here for you at dinner.

Tutti Bomowski: [haggling over automatic machine gun] Do you want to stand out here all week dreaming of a thousand dollars?

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