Intensive Care

"Intensive Care" by Dorna von Rouveroy is easily one of the worst horror movies ever made.This extremely cheap Dutch slasher flick offers some gore and plenty of absurd situations.A horror veteran George Kennedy is completely wasted as as Professor Bruckner.The acting is abysmal,the action is slow and the climax is laughable.A famous surgeon has a car accident.He lies in a coma seven years and then he wakes up and goes on a bloody rampage."Intensive Care" is clearly influenced by American slasher films including "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" series.The killings are hilarious and the dialogs are painfully stupid.Still if you are in the right mood you can give this piece of trash a look.You'll laugh until it hurts with this one-you can believe me!

The fun begins really early in this Dutch slasher film, mostly because of the bizarre cameo by George Kennedy. Kennedy is mostly known as one of the guys who yells "I am Spartacus" at the end of "Spartacus", which apparently makes him entitled to more than half of the budget for just working one day. But damn, does he make his five minutes of screen time count. He doesn't seem to care at all about this movie and he has without a doubt never seen it, but his sheer lack of passion for his role (which for the record is an insane doctor who gets deformed in a car accident and magically turns into a cheaper actor) is probably as entertaining as the guy can get. It's also a beautiful plus that his Dutch co-stars have to speak English to him, I don't think I've ever felt more sorry for a language than in those five minutes. You didn't deserve this, English. The rest of the movie is also pretty fun because it's so technically inept, they really didn't have much money left to spend on unimportant things like special effects and competent crew members. The cheap-looking kills are incredibly funny, but they even botch stuff that doesn't cost money: the dialogues are so weird and pointless, the plot makes so little sense. Even the obligatory sex scene is funny. I guarantee you a beautiful evening of pointing and laughing.

Koen Wouters is a flemish singer and presenter. In the early ninety's he tried his hand on movies as well. But this unbelievable piece of junk ended his acting career once and for all. It also ended the acting career of dutch actress Nada van Nie who went on being a football-wife a TV presenter and program-maker. I actually did see this in an ( almost empty) theatre because I used to be a fan of the band of Koen Wouters, Clouseau. I so regret spending money on it. It looks cheap, it is a terrible story and it is executed bad in every possible way. Some people think it's so bad it's funny. I am not one of them. I just found it an incredible waste of time and money.

I actually saw this one in the cinema when it came out! I read that they wanted to make a sort of dutch Halloween...they failed i guess. I remember people laughing in the theater over all the gore.

Weird thing is: i really want to have a copy of this one, but it is hard to get. As a Dutch horrorfan this should be in the collection.

And i read this somewhere: Quentin Tarantino loves this movie! He took it to a cultfestival in texas...

Just saw this film last saturday at a locally organised 'Night of Distaste', and boy, did it fit in with the bill. We were told that most of the budget went into hiring George Kennedy; the consequence is that little cash was left for the remainder of the production, and that is very visible. The effects are truly awful, laws of nature are suspended to a level seldom seen before, and all that is crowned by a level of acting that makes the average Bangkok soap opera actor look like Laurence Olivier. Be sure to get the English-spoken version (made for the international market!), featuring some of the worst English pronunciation ever to make it to celluloid.