- John Lennon: The lads are probably having a big party without us.
- Brian Epstein: You're not allowed to think about them. Doctor's orders.
- John Lennon: Dr. B. Epstein, Certified Faith Healer and Proctologist. What a shitty job that must be. No pun intended.
- [John is in the bath, playing the harmonica]
- John Lennon: Alright, Eppy?
- Brian Epstein: Sounds like you're having fun.
- John Lennon: Been waitin' for you to scrub me back.
- John Lennon: Sometimes I want a woman to push me like the wind. Sometimes I want a woman to eat my shit.
- John Lennon: I find you an engaging and remarkable man, Brian. I've never met a man like you. I don't really want to have it off with you.
- Brian Epstein: [hopefully] But you've never ruled it out?
- John Lennon: Well, that would be putting you in an awful place, wouldn't it?
- Brian Epstein: It has to be better than what I've been feeling lately.
- John Lennon: If you don't fuck me, who will you fuck? It's a cold, cruel world out there, Brian. Everyone thinks we're off humpin' the weekend away. That really fuckin' pisses me off.
- Brian Epstein: I was surprised you brought up what you brought up just now. Why is it so awkward when we talk about it?
- John Lennon: Don't know.
- Brian Epstein: It puts me in a very awkward position. You see, I get the feeling I'm supposed to bring it up and then I'm damned for doing so.
- John Lennon: I enjoy hearing about your conquests - this lorry driver, that docker.
- Brian Epstein: Yes, well, that's all very well, but it's when it comes closer to home - I just don't know what to say when that happens.
- John Lennon: You know what Jung would call you?
- Brian Epstein: What's that?
- John Lennon: One queer Jew.