Blood Harvest

I just watched this fave old horror movie of mine, Blood Harvest, in its DVD incarnation.

Do NOT buy this DVD, unless you can't get this movie elsewhere.

(And, yes, tho IMDB doesn't show it, Amazon is offering a DVD version of Blood Harvest for around $13 as of today, 9-20-03.)

This is edited in AT LEAST two key scenes. First of all, in the famous shower scene, Jill gets forced out of the shower when a "mysterious stranger" turns off the cold water. In my recorded-from-cable VHS version, an additional short scene shows Jill not only jump out, but grab a towel and flash a brief, but lovely, full frontal - and if you're familiar with the movie, you know the character Jill is especially gorgeous.

That's gone from the DVD. It shows the brief, unrevealing dash from the shower, then cut to Jill wearing a robe in the kitchen.

The scene of her friend hung upside down in the barn, stripped to lingerie, then her throat slit: on the DVD version, the portion where the girl's throat is slit, followed by a brief-but-gory squirting blood shot, is gone entirely from the DVD. Only a brief flash of the dead girl is shone.

There's more missing, but I haven't noted everything because of my extreme disappointment, and because I was too ticked not to get this review out and stop some poor soul from buying it.

Worse, the picture quality varies tremendously from the beginning (almost looks 3rd generation videotape), to almost passable high video tape quality. Nothing APPROACHING typical DVD quality, even for old films transferred.

In the credits, it mentions "International Director's Cut", or some such. What baloney. The film looks like religious censors when after it with hedge trimmers.

You've been warned.

Wait 'til late night cable shows it again, and record it on a good new tape or DVD.

This is a ripoff pressing, and I'm one of the suckers. Luckily, it was low price. But I'll continue watching my uncut, nearly as good picture (and warmer colors) VHS tape of 13 years.

This review DEFINITELY refers to the DVD version.

Prior to watching Director Bill Rebane's opus, BLOOD HARVEST, it helps to know a little about it's star, Tiny Tim. He might not be the main star, but he's definitely the one you'll remember, whether you want to or not.

If you are old enough to remember him during his "heyday", plucking at his ukelele and warbling his way through the 1970s talk show circuit, you already know what to expect. However, if you are too young to know who he is / was, then it is recommended that you do a bit of research on this extremely odd, some might say, annoying character.

In any case, the fact that Tiny Tim owned his own clown suit, and was ready to go after meeting Mr. Rebane for the first time, tells us all we really need to know.

BLOOD HARVEST is among Mr. Rebane's highest achievements in the annals of schlock filmmaking. It has every ingredient necessary to make it a classic.

The only characters in the film that need to be mentioned are the aforementioned Mr. Tim, and the lovely Itonia Salchek, who plays the lovely Jill (she shows a lot of her loveliness here!). Sadly, Ms. Salchek mysteriously went missing after making this, her one and only movie. People have been trying to find her for years.

The plot of BLOOD HARVEST is about a series of murders around the time that Jill's father becomes responsible for dispossessing a lot of local farmers. Jill's friends soon start disappearing, while Mervo the Clown (TT) lurks around looking and acting completely nuts.

Not a bad way to spend a late-late night of mindless movie viewing...

Basically there are only two reasons to see "Blood Harvest" First, the falsetto wonder that was "Tiny Tim", playing "Marvelous Mervo", a drooling, slack jawed, giggling clown. Second, Itonia Salachek playing a naked girl throughout the film. Forget plot and acting skills, live with the fact that this is not the viscera-stained, sex, sleaze, and horror epic it is claimed to be. What "Blood Harvest" is, is a curiosity, much like a crowd would be drawn to a carnival sideshow, you sort of have to keep watching for the next "Mervo" appearance, or excuse for Itonia to lose her clothes. Certainly watchable, but just barely. - MERK

Blood Harvest (1987)

** (out of 4)

Jill (Itonia Salchek) returns home to her parent's farm in Wisconsin and she quickly learns that the town people aren't too happy with them. She also soon realizes that both of them are missing and before long she and her friends come under attack by a masked maniac who enjoys cutting throats. Is it the mentally disturbed Mervo (Tiny Tim)?

Director Bill Rebane (THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION) apparently saw TIny Tim at a local fair and decides to pitch him on the idea of appearing in a slasher film. Apparently Tim liked the idea or perhaps he needed the money but either way the end result is a rather interesting slasher and one that for the most part is entertaining.

If you're expecting a masterpiece or some sort of high art then you're going to be disappointed because BLOOD HARVEST clearly wears its low-budget. The various trappings of low-budget horror films from this era are on full display but if you're a fan of the genre then you know that you just have to deal with those. Outside of that there's a fairly interesting movie here that works on several levels.

For starters, I actually thought the story itself was good enough for this type of film and I really enjoy the lead character even though the screenplay allows her to do some rather stupid things. I thought the entire set-up was decent and I'd argue that the settings were good. The film also offers up some good gore effects as long as you're watching the uncut version. Apparently the director went back and edited out some gore and nudity when he was running for office (?!?!?) so be sure you get the complete version.

The film also offers up quite a bit of nudity from lead actress Itonia Salchek and that's certainly not a bad thing. In fact, I must say that I thought she delivered a good and fun performance. As I said, there are countless low-budget issues here but I thought the actress helped make the film entertaining. The supporting players are decent but, again, the low-budget leads to some less- than-wonderful performances. With that said, seeing Tiny Tim in this kind of movie just adds a whole new atmosphere that you won't find in any other slasher.

BLOOD HARVEST isn't a masterpiece and it's certainly not a classic. It's not even a "good" movie but if you're a fan of the genre then it's certainly worth watching and I think the film rightfully deserves its cult following.

'60s ukulele-playing pop-star Tiny Tim's contributions to horror: that disturbing 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips' song featured in Insidious (2010) to great effect, and this late '80s slasher, in which the falsetto singer dons clown make-up and garb to play Mervo, a crazy weirdo who may or may not be a psycho killer.

The film begins with beauty Jill (Itonia Salchek) returning to her hometown to visit her parents, who have been harangued by the locals on account of her father working at the bank that is overseeing the foreclosure of several farmsteads. When she gets home, Jill's parents are nowhere to be found and the walls are daubed with threatening graffiti; the local sheriff does little to investigate. Old childhood friend Gary (Dean West) tries to calm Jill's nerves, but she feels increasingly uneasy, especially with Gary's oddball brother Mervo hanging around and snooping on her. To make matters worse, other people in Jill's life start to disappear, including her boyfriend Scott (Peter Krause) and best friend Sarah. Is Mervo responsible?

Wisconsin-based horror auteur Bill Rebane fails to keep up the brisk pace necessary for such nonsense, and some stretches are duller than watching wheat grow, but he knows well enough to include plenty of nudity courtesy of sexy Salchek, and some decent gore to keep viewers watching, the blood-letting including some convincing throat slashings (the effects far better than I expected). Rebane also makes the most of Tiny Tim, who proves effectively unsettling throughout, singing a few creepy ditties and generally acting convincingly deranged.

It's far from a top-tier '80s slasher (but then few late'-80s slashers are), but there's just about enough fun to be had to make it of interest to fans of the genre. 5/10.