- Delivery Boy: [confirming J.C.'s delivery order] One cold mist humidifier, one electric steam vaporizer, one baby thermometer, one baby Tylenol, baby nose drops, baby cough medicine and... bottle of Valium?
- J.C. Wiatt: Oh, yeah, uh... that's for me.
- Delivery Boy: [nods] Mm.
- Fritz Curtis: [to an executive] This is Elizabeth. J.C. is taking care of her for a while.
- J.C. Wiatt: Well, Fritz, I'm actually keeping her a little longer than that.
- Fritz Curtis: Oh? How long?
- J.C. Wiatt: [distracted] Oh, forever!
- Doctor Jeff Cooper: You know... you kind of remind me of a bull terrier of some kind.
- J.C. Wiatt: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.
- J.C. Wiatt: ... And your sister's name in Wiesbaden - in case of an emergency - and her prison record if *any.*
- Helga Von Haupt: Excuse me??
- J.C. Wiatt: Uh, oh, silly! I mean her *address* if you *have* it.
- J.C. Wiatt: Now look. There is nothing in the world to get uptight about. We are two summa cum laudes. We can handle one little baby for eight hours.
- J.C. Wiatt: [crying in Dr. Cooper's office] Sex? I can't even say the word... not that I was ever really into it, but... when you don't have any and there are no prospects, well, it's very upsetting!
- Stockboy: [pushing cart overflowing with toys to J.C.'s taxi; J.C. holds Elizabeth] Believe me, J.C., you made the right choice. You're going to be a partner, for Christ's sake - your career comes first. Look at it this way.
- J.C. Wiatt: Yeah.
- Stockboy: [stops cart next to taxi] You spend a few days with her, you got her all these toys, $1700 worth of clothes. Come on, that's not a bad haul, if you ask me.
- J.C. Wiatt: [extends hand] Well, I just want to say thank you for your support, Jesus.
- Stockboy: [shakes J.C.'s hand] Hey, no problem! Nice to meet you.
- J.C. Wiatt: Nice to meet you.
- [Jesus pats Elizabeth on the head]
- Doctor Jeff Cooper: You and me are probably the only two people under 60 in Hadleyville County so we might as well make the best of it.
- J.C. Wiatt: I appreciate you taking time to chat, but I'm not in the mood for idle conversation. So if it should happen again, I think we should both try to ignore each other, 'cos I'm not one of your students who's gonna faint every time you say hello. I am a tough, cold career woman who has absolutely nothing in common with a veterinarian from Hadleyville. All I have on my mind, at this point in my life, is to get out of this moth-eaten town and nothing here, including you *Doctor Charm*, holds any interest for me whatsoever. So what do you think about that?
- Helga Von Haupt: I think you should know from the start that I am a full-charged nanny. I don't argue and I do not like to be argued with.