Ren zhe da

Having previously heard a great deal about this film and its sizable cult following and being a big fan of ninja movies (especially really bad ones!) I was pretty eager to view this in order to see for myself what all the fuss was about.

Having now viewed the film in question I can say two things: 1) Sadly, this is a somewhat mundane, formulaic and underwhelming affair but.... 2) It does have a number of utterly hilarious scenes on offer!

The plot concerns a group of ninja who seek to destroy the inhabitants of the Shaolin Temple as an act of revenge. At the same time a skilled fighter and monk (played by Alexander Lou) has also travelled from japan to visit the temple with the wish to gain insightful Buddhist knowledge. Inevitably Lou gets tangled up in the resulting conflict and eventually finds himself fighting side by side with the Buddist monks against the ruthless stealth assassins.

As I previously said, the above plot provides nothing out of the ordinary and plays as a typical kung fu outing (although the martial arts are well staged throughout). In fact had this been all there was to the proceedings then this film would surely have been an entirely forgettable affair. However, luckily for us there are some highly memorable and hilarious scenes included that lift this film immeasurably.

One is some lines of hilarious dialogue that crop up throughout the film. Just check out the verbal exchanges when Lou takes on regular co-star Eugene Thomas....Which incidentally brings me on to another major plus in the film...some of the bizarre characters. Eugene for instance, appears as The Black Monk Of Harlem (!!!), a jive talking, peace loving (but expert fighter when called to defend himself) monk who is paying the Shaolin Temple a visit. Also of note are a comical pair of Hari Krishna westerners who are also trying to gain admittance to the Temple (and who promptly get a good beating for their troubles!)

Finally, there's some hilarious stand out scenes, most notably a feisty female fighter who, caught off guard by the ninja, is forced to fight in the buff and of course the scene that this film is most famous for, the Water Spider Attack Team! Words simply cannot describe how hilarious the sequences in which this ninja assault squad feature really are! (especially when we see them frantically paddling and kicking as their spider goes absolutely nowhere!)

To summarise, whilst in itself this isn't a great film by any means, it does nonetheless boast enough daft scenes to surely induce much mirth in any self respecting fan of bad movies......now where can I get hold of a spider inflatable?

The kind of movie to watch on a Sunday morning! As a lover of oldschool kungfu movies, this is probably the best of the worst. Inflatable water spiders, kinetic thunderfists and tigerclaw warriors. What else do you need?!

A rather extreme example of screw loose Chinese film-making from the 1980's. An era where HK and Taiwanese films were fast-paced, illogical exercises in frenetic film making, this one really takes the cake and sits on it.

The plot is threadbare and indecipherable at the same time. The scenes unfurl to strike the film makers fancy not to move the story along. It's really clear that the people who made this didn't care if the legendary spider boats obviously don't work or that the film is set in some sort of time warp between the 1920's or the 1980's. The American monks seem to be parodies of the Hare Krishnas that used to plague the airports and the Black Monk of Harlem is inspired by "The Last Dragon" but everything else seems to set in old China. The digging ninjas are first shown struggling with their small shovels, then suddenly they are drilling thru the ground at 50 miles per hour. The producers of the film didn't take this seriously and neither should the viewer.

The unusual nude fight scene is the first example I've seen of Taiwanese film nude kung fu that I had heard about from a friend who lived in Taiwan in the late 1980's. He had collected a number of these films which were subsequently confiscated by HK customs when he came back. Apparently these scenes were the rage for a small time in Taiwan. My friend had actually acted in one film (as a stock white bad guy) where he had to fight a heroine who practiced "Iron Chest". You can guess how that was used. The scene in this film is more of a shock then good. Most of the nude part of the fight involves the actress being flung around while she tries to cover herself with a sheet. She finally starts to fight back but the choreography seems to have been designed to cause the most amount of jiggle instead of an effective fight scene. And the jiggle isn't that good either. Eventually the actress must have said "enough" and she is suddenly clothed in a two piece bikini she somehow creates from the single sheet. The next scene she is in, she is killed off. They probably couldn't afford her anymore.

Good for a laugh with a group of friends, that's it. Except for the nude fight even my wife enjoyed the film and she doesn't like kung fu films.

Ninja The Final Duel is a very entertaining ninja/kung fu flick, it has some great fights, a naked chick that fights, bloody deaths, ninjas, monks from all over the world and so on.

The story is about the shaolin temple and its monks who are attacked by ninjas.

On the one hand, the monks fight beautifully, and they also have a typical shaolin master who looks totally silly. Alexander Lou is some sort of a monk and a ninja. He usually hangs out with his friend who is categorized like him( His friend is the little Chinese guy who participated with Lou in Mafia Vs Ninja). Actually, his black friend who participated in Mafia Vs Ninja, The Super Ninja and Ninja The Final Duel appears later, and he fights well as he does in the other films.

On the other hand, The ninjas have a great time of ninjas who can jump onto water spiders that can fight against the monks. Those ninjas know how to disappear mysteriously. Moreover, the ninjas have an evil leader who makes them slaughter monks and other Chinese people.

Ninja The Final Duel is actually a fine ninja flick! It has good fights, cheesy and bloody fights, even though that The Super Ninja in which Alexander Lou participated too is much better. Recommended for the fans of cheesy martial art flicks! 7/10

NINJA: FINAL DUEL packs an awful lot of zany fun into its ninety minutes running time. With its naked kung fu chicks, water spider assault teams, jive-talking black monks, ninja swastika formations, cackling bad guys and long-eyebrowed Shaolin monks, this movie sounds like a dream-come-true for fans of trash cinema; but, thanks to a complete lack of a cohesive narrative, it ends up as something of a disappointment. Whilst I am the first to admit that a strong storyline isn't always a major requirement for a martial arts film, when a film feels as disjointed as NINJA: FINAL DUEL did, then I'm gonna start deducting points!

A team of nasty ninjas plot to take over China, but are defeated by the legendary monks of the Shaolin Temple. Disgraced, the ninja leader commits Hara-kiri. After this failure, another team of fighters is gathered together for a new attack.

After he is not picked for the new team of ninjas, talented fighter Wang Chi Chung travels to China to try to learn the secrets of Shaolin martial arts. When the evil ninjas finally launch their attack, Wang Chi Chung switches allegiance and uses his skills to help defeat the Japanese invaders.

Pieced together from footage excised from a TV series, NINJA: FINAL DUEL really feels like a 'Frankenstein's monster' of a film, leaping awkwardly from one scene to another and introducing new characters at the drop of a hat. A dreadful voice-over introduces viewers to the ninjas at the beginning of the film, explaining their methods of training, but after that we are on our own; I strongly suggest forgetting about following the story and just concentrate on enjoying the crazy happenings and impressive acrobatic fight scenes.

Better still, consume several pints of lager before watching; it can only improve your viewing experience.