Breeders

Clearly a porn to R rated cross over. Talk about clueless acting! Serves as a primer for film students to clearly identify what's wrong and how to fix it. One thing is for sure, the director never said 'cut, let's do it again!'

I play a game with this quality of movie and try to spot the best actor. My surprise was that the SciFi channel showed the film with the naughty bits fuzzed out! I gave up after the first act! Teresa Farley's performance in the movie was missing, she was there but the monotone cue card reading was painfully obvious. Lance Lewman was worth watching however and pulled off quite a performance under the circumstances. Somewhat like a baseball player on a lousy team, what matters are good personal stats, which Lance earned. He goes on to appear in 3 more made fot TV movies.

Subterranean dwelling aliens come out of the sewers long enough to rape "virgins" in order to impregnate them with there extraterrestrial seed. A doctor and detective try to figure what the hell is going on.

I knew I was in for some ridiculous b-movie crap when even before the title-card shows up we're treated to, bad acting and boobs belonging to a body double in what could be the most obvious film flub ever. And boy oh boy, everyone's favorite gay-porn director, turned crappy b-horror film director, turned gay film director again, Tim Kincaid does not disappoint. Now when I use the term 'crap' for this film, I do so giving it the best most loving connotation. I live for this trash, but if your tolerance for sleaze and utterly atrocious acting isn't high, steer clear of this one as it most definitely is NOT for you.

Eye Candy: Frances Raine shows everything with naked yoga, LeeAnne Baker also shows all; Meanwhile Natalie O'Connell shows T&A and Adrianne Lee & Amy Brentino only show breasts (plus the aforementioned body double, and some topless extras)

Aliens come to downtown Manhattan and live underground only to come out and victimize virgin girls and impregnate them with alien seed. This movie is rubbish on so many levels. First of all, it is more of a soft core pornography film rather than a science fiction/horror film. Just about every female actress bares her top AND bottom. One dances nude to music for what seems like an eternity. The premise that all these girls are virgins crosses the line of suspension of disbelief credibility, as one, moments prior to her nude aerobics, snorts a line of cocaine. The film also suffers from some of the worst, uninspired acting I have seen in quite some time. None...and I mean none of the "talents" in this film can act. Little wonder none of them became successful. Teresa Farley, a beautiful girl, plays a doctor named Gamble out to solve the mystery of what is happening to these girls that appear to have been raped. She looks off while she utters her lines. Silences are a part of all the thespians' craft here. Poor acting notwithstanding, the plot is ludicrous. The special effects are nothing more than guys in rubber suits and blood coming out of mouths. I was very disappointed with this as the video box had some alien on it akin to what was in the movie Alien. Fat chance here! This film is nothing more than a voyeuristic foray into the adolescent mind of director Kinkaid. His abilities are practically nil as no suspense, no depth, and no storytelling are pervasive throughout. What you DO get are lots of girls disrobing in the most unlikely places, a group of women in some goo waving their arms, and aliens in rubber suits with big metal eyes in cheap sets populated by insincere, amateurish actors. This one is definitely NOT in the ranks of best in breed!

This almost makes it into that truly rare category of a movie that's so bad it's actually entertaining--but not quite. Aliens are looking for virgins to impregnate. Why do they need virgins?--who knows. But New York City in the 1980's is definitely the wrong place to look for them. Of course, if there was anything virginal about the actresses they cast in this movie they probably wouldn't have been cast in this movie, but even the pristine credentials of the characters they play seem pretty suspect. One girl is a coke-snorting model (a group well known for their chastity). Another does her aerobics in the nude (obviously her extreme shyness would explain her intact maidenhood). You get the idea--this is the unlikeliest group of "virgins" to ever appear outside a porno film. But besides the "virgins" you have the "detective" who doesn't look like he's old enough to shave and the "aliens" who usually disguise themselves as random human males, probably because their rubbery suits are totally unconvincing. The dialogue is absolutely atrocious, especially the hilarious way everybody makes a long, dramatic pause before uttering the word. . . "virgin".

Many professional reviewers have pointed out how tasteless the climactic scene is where all these naked women writhe around in some kind of viscous alien fluid. Well, if you have any taste to begin with you wouldn't watch this movie long enough to get to that scene. If this movie was just a little more sleazy it would be a porno flick and this scene would be a great big . . . well, you get the idea. This movie isn't as good as the similar "Humanoids from the Deep", but at least the director didn't try to claim that Roger Corman or somebody went back and added all the gratuitous sex and nudity. (This would have been a 5-minute short without it). I'd only recommend this movie to sick perverts who enjoy completely tasteless, morally indefensible trash (not that that's necessarily a BAD thing. . .)

*SPOILER ALERT* * SPOILER ALERT*

You might think this movie is about aliens. You'd be wrong. Sure there are aliens, and they do attack. But what the movie is really about is breasts. Female breasts. Naked female breasts.

Naked woman are attacked by aroused aliens. Yes. That's right. It looked cheap and tacky. It was cheap and tacky. Still a good time for an aliens on the hunt movie.

Near the end, all the naked women jump into a pot of alien goo. I'm not saying what's in that goo, but the title is "Breeders". A high point in B-movie moments.

It was sleaze to please. I was pleased.