Les magiciens du royaume perdu II

I daresay I am very fond of B or even Z movies. Westerns, sci-fi, horror, fantasy, you name it. I've seen quite a lot of movies ranging from bad to very bad, with an occasional gem flirting with the 'execrable' mark. However, this thing was simply out of scale. It is neither the gaping plot holes, pitiful lines, inept sets nor below 80's D&D scenario storyline. I think it is the way all actors without exception seemed not only bored but plainly ashamed of being immortalized in such a lame show.

They are all, without exception, amazingly clumsy, slow, and boring. I still wonder what coaxed Carradine into this piece of junk - trouble with the IRS maybe ? But the worst disappointment came from the lame performance of Captain Spaulding, head of the unforgettable dysfunctional family of the house of 1000 corpses and the devil's rejects. Yes, this movie even managed to bore the flamboyant Z movie star Sid Haig into near-catatonia. Not a small feat in itself, if you like that sort of things.

Add a terribly annoying soundtrack with garbled voices and very loud out of sync "background" music (in all fairness that last bit could have been due to the appalling state of the venerable VHS tape) and you get something that managed to defeat my unusually high tolerance for *really* cheap movies.

Not even worth a rent unless you invest in enough booze to wash away this tedium.

The previous poster pretty much said it all - this movie contains flubs on ever level, from costumes to special effects, dialogue, editing, sound editing, continuity, and just plain out-and-out stupidity. My friend's kid brother enjoyed this film in a serious way back in 1990 - but he was only 9 years old so that makes sense. Even at 15 we understood how lame this really was. And yet we watched it so many times and laughed harder and longer than most movies that are intentional comedies! Some more examples of badness:

The warrior princess character uses bows and arrows and can somehow shoot them from impossible angles, i.e. killing men while standing in a tree and they are bending over, yet still hitting them squarely in the heart. I guess the arrow ricocheted off the dirt up into his chest.

Our "hero" fights a battle against a tentacled styrofoam creature that is shown in brief 1 second flashes with lots of dry ice to mask it's cheesiness. Somehow, the hero kills it though it's not really shown.

The hero goes from standing with his sword across his back, then cut away to some villagers, cut back - suddenly he is brandishing the sword! Guess it would be too much effort to see him unsheath it.

One evil wizard guy looks like Commander Data from Star Trek, right down to his gold painted face.

A final scene is a total ripoff of the whole Star Wars theme of "strike him down and you will turn to the Dark Side". Some sample dialogue (from memory):

"Don't you know that even if you embrace the thought of killing him, you will become evil and join him and NOT kill him, GET IT?"

Suddenly George Lucas sounds like Shakespeare. :)

A few more quotes (said in all seriousness in this movie):

"This is a hard time for heroes kid" "Hey - I'll see you at 7:30" (don't think they used time in such increments in the middle ages) "Now shut up - or start dancing, one or the other" "To the king and the queen of all creation, HAIL." "What can you do against the power of the Amulet of Light?!"

In conclusion, rent this !!

Who said that Citizen Kane deserved to be in the top 10, and where is Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2? Someone give David Carradine a high-five, ASAP. Does anyone else want to throw fifteen bucks to hire the costume designer of this movie to dress up an upcoming wedding? What needs to be said about the plot, other than it's a beautiful template that ignores logic for the sake of a god damned good movie. Buy a six pack, call a friend or text them or whatever it is you do to reach people, sit down in front of a TV when you're already too drunk to drive and watch these actors blow your mind right out of your skull. This movie might be suitable for children, but it's way more suitable for you, who may be able to pick up on the subtle sophistication that oozes from every pore of this hysterical, bloated masterpiece.

It made me look at life with new eyes. Now I will never be the same again, forced to face the world a new man with untold possibility and danger. Does that sound anything near exciting to you? That's not even close to how exciting these special effects are.

Three kingdoms have been overtaken by three evil lords and only Tyor, a teenage boy with magical powers, can restore peace to the land with the help of a bumbling elder, wizard and a hero in each kingdom.

This was Charles Griffith's last feature film credit and is a quasi-sequel to the Argentine-American cult film "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom" (1985). Griffith began his career with "Gunslinger" (1955), meaning he spent over 30 years as the right-hand man to B-movie legend Roger Corman.

The film includes stock footage of characters and scenes from "Barbarian Queen" (which starred Lana Clarkson) and "The Warrior and the Sorceress" (starring David Carradine), both of which were also a co-production between Argentina and United States. For the most part, the footage blends in well.

On IMDb, this film has one of the lowest ratings I have ever seen. But, to be honest, I found the film immensely enjoyable. Not good in any technical sense. But get together with a friend of two, grab some beers, and I think this would be a great deal of fun.

I have sworn me a mighty oath to look at every movie I can, to consider it calmly in terms of not just "Did I like it" but its actual value as a piece of cinema. I have seen some dire movies as a result. This one sets a new standard in terms of every part of the multitudinous specialties of the field. It includes dull writing, bad acting, poorly composed shots, badly lit shots, slack editing, poor costuming, awful set design.... well, the list goes on.

True, some of its flaws are standard. People have clean 1980s hair, which for a bunch of peasants in a medieval world is ridiculous.

If your pleasure on watching movies is to make fun of them -- and I know people like that -- then this is the movie for you. If, like me, you hope for something positive to say, something with something in it that is worthwhile, then go watch something else.