Robert De Niro: Jack Walsh

Midnight Run

Jack Walsh

Jack Walsh: Where am I? I'm in Boise, Idaho. No, no, no, wait a minute, I'm in Anchorage, Alaska. No, no, wait, I'm in Casper, Wyoming. I'm in the lobby of a Howard Johnson's and I'm wearing a pink carnation.
Eddie Moscone: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jack Walsh: I am not talking to you, I am talking to the other guys.
Eddie Moscone: What other guys?
Jack Walsh: Well, let me describe the scene to you. There are these guys, see? They've probably been up for like two days. They stink of B.O., they have coffee breath, they're constipated from sittin' on their asses for so long, they're sitting in a van, and they're probably parked right up the street from your office, Eddie. YOUR PHONE IS TAPPED!

Jonathan Mardukas: Did she hurt you, Jack?
Jack Walsh: Yeah, she did.
Jonathan Mardukas: I'm sorry.
Jack Walsh: What're you sorry about?
Jonathan Mardukas: I'm sorry you're hurt.
Jack Walsh: I'm not hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: You just said you were hurt.
Jack Walsh: I'm not hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: You just said you were hurt!
Jack Walsh: I didn't say I was hurt, YOU said I was hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: I asked you if you were hurt and you said "Yeah, I'm hurt."
Jack Walsh: That's because you made me say it. Startin' to put words in my mouth.
Jonathan Mardukas: Jack, you're a grown man. You're in control of your own words.
Jack Walsh: You're goddamn right I am. Now here come two words for you: Shut the fuck up.

Jack Walsh: I know my rights. You owe me phone calls.
Alonzo Mosely: What should be of paramount importance to you right now is not the phone calls. It's the fact that you're gonna spend ten years for impersonating a federal agent.
Jack Walsh: Ten years for impersonating a fed, huh?
Alonzo Mosely: Ten years.
Jack Walsh: How comes no one's after you?

Jack Walsh: I can't keep you cuffed on a commercial flight, and I gotta check my gun with my luggage, but you fuck with me once and I'm gonna break your neck.
Jonathan Mardukas: I can't fly.
Jack Walsh: What?
Jonathan Mardukas: You heard me, I can't fly.
Jack Walsh: No, no, no. You're going to have to do better than that, pal.
Jonathan Mardukas: No, I don't have to do better than that, because it's the truth, I can't fly: I suffer from aviaphobia.
Jack Walsh: What does that mean?
Jonathan Mardukas: It means I can't fly. I also suffer from acrophobia and claustrophobia.
Jack Walsh: I'll tell you what: if you don't cooperate, you're gonna suffer from "fistophobia".

[last lines]
Jack Walsh: [Jack hails cab. When it pulls over he knocks on passenger side front window and driver rolls it down]
[Pointing at driver]
Jack Walsh: You wouldn't have change for a thousand, would ya?
Cab Driver: Whatta ya, a comedian? Get outta here, you bum!
[Cab driver drives away]
Jack Walsh: [Zips up coat and turns up collar] Looks like I'm walkin'.

Alonzo Mosely: Let me tell you something, asshole. I've been working on this Jimmy Serrano thing for about six years; Mardukas is my shot. I'm gonna bring him into federal court, and I don't want any third-rate rent-a-thug who couldn't cut it as a cop in Chicago bringing him to LA on some bullshit local charge. Do I make myself understood?
Jack Walsh: Can I ask you something? These sunglasses, they're really nice: are they government-issued, or all you guys go to the same store to get them?

Jonathan Mardukas: Jahé, everybody, jahé
Jack Walsh: What's that?
Jonathan Mardukas: It means 'hello'. I can say 'hello' in a lot of different languages. Not yours, but a lot of them.

Jonathan Mardukas: You lied to me first!
Jack Walsh: What the - -YOU LIED TO ME FIRST!
Jonathan Mardukas: Yes! Yes. But you didn't know I was lying to you when you lied to me down by the river. So as far as you knew, you lied to me first!
Jack Walsh: How can I argue with this guy. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Eddie Moscone: What happened to the goddamn plane?
Jack Walsh: [Uneasy] He doesn't like to fly.
Eddie Moscone: He doesn't like to fly? What the fuck does that mean? Listen to me, Jack. You've gotta be here in less than two and a half fuckin' days! A half a million dollars of my money... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON THERE?
Jack Walsh: Eddie, Eddie, I swear to God, don't start with me or so help me, I will shoot him and dump him in a fuckin' swamp!
[Mardukas looks frightened but Jack shakes his head at him as in "not really"]

Jonathan Mardukas: Two dollars? That's all you're gonna leave?
Jack Walsh: That's fifteen percent.
Jonathan Mardukas: That's thirteen percent. These people depend on tips for a living!

Jack Walsh: [Screaming to Eddie Moscone on the phone] You put Marvin on this case you fuckin' piece of shit? You fucking, deceptive - You VERMIN! You SLIMEBALL in a SEA of PUS!

Jonathan Mardukas: I got money, y'know.
Jack Walsh: I'm sure you do.
Jonathan Mardukas: I'll give you whatever you want.
Jack Walsh: Start by shutting up. I know you all of two minutes and already I don't like ya.
Jonathan Mardukas: Gee, that's too bad. I really like you.

Jonathan Mardukas: You ever had sex with an animal Jack? Remember those chickens on the Indian reservation? There were some good looking chickens there Jack. You know, between us...
Jack Walsh: Yeah, there were a couple there I might've taken a shot at.
[both laugh heartily]