Mac et moi

I know it's a little silly to write a review of a film 15 years after its release. But this poorly done film made its way onto one of my cable movie channels last night, and I feel the need to have a violent, outward reaction outside of the projectile vomiting I experienced.

People, this film is bad. Really bad. Bad like "Showgirls" bad, where it's so bad, it's both insulting and laughable simultaneously. And forgive me, but anybody who finds this 95-minute commercial for McDonalds and Coca-Cola to be warm-hearted or well done in any way knows not a thing about what makes a movie good, and needs a great deal of emotional counseling.

First, let's reiterate that point about this being an extended commercial. Folks, it is. The product placement in this film is shameless.

Next, there are basic things that make a film "good," like strong acting, a well-written script, superior camerawork or quality special effects. "Mac and Me" has none of these. Wooden posts would have made for better actors. The script clunks and thuds with every ridiculous, uninspired line. And the alien creatures of the film, with their bug-eyes and protruding bellies, look about a life-like as melted candles.

I also have to make a point of just how much of a rip-off of "E.T." this film was. Not only is the plot just a poor carbon copy, but even the title of this attrocity becomes an act of thievery when it's revealed that "Mac" stands for "Mysterious Alien Creature." I'm not even the biggest fan of uber-cutesy "E.T." either, but at least there the attempts at manipulation are somewhat subtle. Here, the filmmakers fell just short of subtitles at the bottom of the screen that said "LAUGH HERE" and/or "CRY NOW."

And the cherry atop Stewart Rafill's bile sundae? The scene inside a McDonald's (Our aforementioned sponsor) when normal, everyday patrons suddenly and spontaneously spring to life into a choreographed dance sequence. Yeh, that happens at the Greasy Mac's on Route 1 near my house every freakin' day.

Saps only will buy into laughable hunk of junk... for the rest of you out there, I recommend this movie only if you're looking for new additions to your Ten Worst List.

What were the people that invested money in this movie thinking about when they aproved this stinking piece of... It's shameless, the way they used the kid, and the alien to reformulate whit camouflage the ET formula. It's really disgusting to see that when many people are dying of starvation around the world there are people spending money with movies that revolve around aliens that drink Coke and go to Mc Donald's and that exist movies that are sponsored by multinacional companies that create a diversion to their money just for fun, extending the ET effect far beyond the limits of the reasonable. Kill this piece of excrement!!! I was ashamed to watch this movie, and the channel which spent money broadcasting should be ashamed. Mac and Me... it even rimes with ET!!! And that whistling bit... how ridiculous!

Mystery science theater 3000 just riffed this movie. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know, I don't know what will.

in a bad way!

Back in the late 1980's, quite a few movies that were considered to be among the worst ever made were coming out to theaters. This was one of them, and I'm quite surprised that Steven Spielberg didn't sue for royalties when this E.T. rip-off was released to theaters in '88.

Honestly, if you take Mac And Me as a kiddie film, it's not bad. However, the fact that it's a rip-off of one the most popular films ever made, has a horrible script that not even Denzel Washington could improve on, and is filled with product placements galore just makes the film absolutely horrible.

I certainly remember that dance scene at the McDonald's; at the time, shows like Kids Incorporated and Kid Videos, which were corny and cheesy kiddie shows with lip-synching rugrats with attitudes were quite popular then. I have that scene etched in my mind, with a bunch of hip 80's pre-teens dancing up a storm. It was very painful to watch and it wasn't choreographed very well. The music was also quite bad. Also, Ronald McDonald earned a Razzie award as "Worst New Actor".

Although the film did have one redeeming benefit (some of the money it made would be donated to Ronald McDonald House, a worthy cause), you somehow wonder if the idea of starring a non-acting paraplegic child thespian was a good idea. There was probably a casting call for wheelchair bound kids, and the winner was the strangely named Jade Calegory. Jade? Jade?!? Isn't Jade a woman's name? I sure hope that's his middle name. Add in the fact that his character's name was Eric Cruise! Cruise? Cruise?!? Is he related to Tom Cruise?

If you've seen E.T., you've seen this one; it's the same film. Mac actually looks like a cute Yoda clone, but he really hasn't got the charm E.T. had. Also, tons of companies shill their wares in this film, led by McDoanld's, Coca-Cola, and Sears-Roebuck. Also, the cast is filled with horrible actors and is just so saccharine. It has no edge.

Sadly (or gladly), the film isn't on DVD, and I doubt it'll ever arrive on DVD (although it might) due to it's infamy. Still, if you ever see this film mentioned in the T.V. Guide, check this trainwreck out. See how long you can go before you start going MST3K on it.

If nothing else, MAC AND ME sorts out the really worthwhile people on this planet - those who can "see" decency and believe in solid family values as opposed to the viewers who were never really children - just young insensitives on their way to becoming hard-line realists and empty vessels. As one observant person commented, this film is nothing like ET yet still, without the benefit of a Spielberg direction or a budget of gynormous dollar-value, it succeeds in being heartwarming and a magical experience for children. My own kids grew up with this little film and having found it covered in dust in the garage last week (an old BETA copy) they all nestled up on the lounge together yesterday and watched it again. They were just as mesmerised and captivated as they had been in 1989 when they were just 9, 7 5 and 3. It was a rare moment of emotional beauty to see them re-capturing their childhoods. You wanna tell THEM about the blatant product placement, the "laughable aliens," the cornball script etc.

I don't THINK so!!!!