Curse of the Queerwolf

I found my copy of CURSE... in a Suncoast Video in Indiana. I have shown it to many people who just stare at the screen in disbelief. I think it is one of the best "worst" movies out there. I've never found it again, and will cry the day my tape finally gives out. I just dug it out the other day and am gearing up for another viewing. So cracked in its layers. The Hillbilly nightmares...the running gag with the doctor...the poor puppies...the men with the torches...the gypsy...It's all flooding my memory, and I'm giggling all over again. If you ever have a chance to get your hands on this rare movie, DO IT! You won't regret a single penny of it.

Let's get 1 thing out of the way- there is no werewolf in this movie. And, unless you've been under a rock since the 80's you should know that gay is NOT the

same thing as being a transvetite. So the queer wolf not a werewold but instead is a man dressed as a woman. And once you're bitten, you turn gay. But that also means that you turn into a transvestite. Fishnets and all. But fear not, all

free-thinking minds. This movie is not offensive at all (unless you drive a

pick-up, like to use words like "y'all" and invoke Jesus' name other than for cursing). But despite the obvious outrageousness, Queer Wolf is only a sorta fun movie. It tries too hard to be camp. Most of the time, the effort seems forced and contrived. It's too aware of itself. But when it's bad, it can be joyfully bad. The best part about it is that the DVD rental comes with extras like directors commentary and interviews with the cast now. I think I laughed the most

thinking about this Pirromount (yes, Pirromount) film spending the time and

money needed to create these extras. They probably cost more than the film

itself. And that sense of misplaced seriousness, my friends, is what camp is all about.

Larry Smallbut is bitten by a transvestite so when the moon is full he turns into a limp-wristed queen. He has to try to get back on the straight and narrow. All these people who complain about anything that that see as the tiniest bit 'homophobic' and nitpick about the differences between gay and cross-dressers need to get their head out of their asses (pardon the pun). And it only shows that being PC is sadly alive and well. For the rest of us (Ie. SANE people), we can see that it's JUST a movie. Funny at times, stupid at others (the whole hillbilly thing), but anyone who rants against the film not for what it is, but for what their narrow-minded views conceive it as being are just sad. My star rating will be higher than my graded rating in an effort to rectify that. (again no pun intended)

My Grade: C-

DVD Extras: 26 minute documentary "Curse of the Queerwolf: Completely from Behind"; a 1 and a half minute clip of the queerwolf's debut in "A Polish Vampire in Burbank"; Mark Pirro biography; and theatrical trailer

Eye Candy: Cynthia Brownell gets topless; Darwyn Carson in a see-thru bra

My review was written in September 1989 after watching the movie on Paramount video cassette.

This catchily titled feature is an extremely funny, wide-ranging horror satire. Aggressively offensive black humor marks it as more a video to delight private audiences rather than for the traditional midnight bookings route.

Helmer Mark Pirro, known for his popular Super 8mm comedy "A Polish Vampire in Burbank", comes up with very clever (and equally tasteless) puns in limning the sick tale of Larry Smallbut (Michael Palazzollo), who's bitten by Cynthia Brownell. As a result, he turns into a Queerwolf when the moon is full and is soon on the run from a group of torch-wielding fanatics who want to silver stake him in an unmentionable spot. Only a medallion containing John Wayne's photo can protect him from transforming into a limp-wristed "monster".

On the surface, pic obviously is in poor taste regarding gays, but it is disarming not only because of its high percntage of successful gags but because it carefully mocks the paranoia of much of the straight world regarding homosexuals. The hilarious transformation scene is proof of this, culminating not only in bodily change but with a hanky magically growing out of the back pocket of the hero's jeans. Running gag of Palazzolo accidentally killing his pet dogs is typical of the no-holds-barred Pirro approach.

Also satirized are films ranging from "The Exorcist" to "Deliverance", with a truly inspired re-writing of the "Ballad of Jed Clampett" from "The Beverly Hillbillies" tv show to fit hero's nightmare about being pursued by the lecheous backwoods geeks from John Boorman's 1972 classic.

This is actually pretty funny in a reeeeeealy low budget way, and not as offensive as you might think. Actually the film is pretty much an equal opportunity offendor and makes fun of those straight white guys we all hate as well as gays. A guy gets bitten on the ass by a gay werewolf, and not only turns into a werewolf but also turns gay, to say more ruins the movie.

It's too bad they didn't call it "the Monster in the Closet" though...