- Madeleine Regency: [narrating a letter] My husband is having an affair with your wife. I don't think we should talk about it... unless you're prepared to kill them.
- Tim Madden: Oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man, oh God!
- Wardley Meeks III: Madden, take it in the mouth or you'll die. Will you take my pride and joy into your mouth?
- [Mr. Regency has just suffered a stroke. Madeleine is at his bedside]
- Capt. Alvin Luther Regency: I made you come 16 times... in a night.
- Madeleine Regency: Not one of them was good.
- Capt. Alvin Luther Regency: That's because... ya got no WOOOOOMB!
- Tim Madden: How could you dig Big Stoop?
- Madeleine Regency: Because I'm crazy! This country's crazy!
- [Madeleine begins slapping Tim around]
- Madeleine Regency: THIS COUNTRY'S CRAZY! I'M CRAZY!
- Tim Madden: Should you drink?
- Dougy Madden: Six months ago, they told me to stop or I was dead. I stopped. Now the spirits circle around my bed and they tell me to dance. I tell 'em, "Tough guys don't dance." They answer me, "Keep dancing."