Mary Woronov: Mary Bland

Eating Raoul

Mary Bland

Mary: At the store, can you buy a new frying pan? I'm a little squeamish about using the one we use to kill people.

Susan - Swinger in Fur: I was just saying to my husband, Moose, over there, you're a highly unusual-looking couple. We were wondering if you'd like to get together with us and have fun?
Mary: Ah, what did you have in mind?
Susan - Swinger in Fur: Oh, gee, we're up for about anything! You see, we're both bi, so we can go either way. But, actually, we do like straight sex. Moose is into voyeurism, and I'm into exhibitionism. We like B&D, but we don't like S&M. We met at the A&P.

Nurse Sheila: So how long will you be gone?
Mary: Oh, I don't know. As long as it takes to apply for a loan.
Nurse Sheila: You'll probably get it. That dress sure shows off your collateral.

Mary: Why should we give up any of that money? We had to kill two people to get it!
Raoul Mendoza: You killed two people for less than a thousand dollars?
Mary: ...One of them shortchanged us.

Paul: A hundred-and-seventy-five-dollar-a-month rent increase! How are we going to pay that?
Mary: Don't worry. We can live on your insta-cash card for a month or so.
Paul: Don't you remember? It was canceled for non-payment.

Mary: I hope this place that James found is gonna be as good as it sounds. You know, I was thinking about what we should name it and - I know that you love 'Chez Bland' and I do too - but, well, what if we just called it 'Paul and Mary's Country Kitchen'?

Paul: Mary, what do you think makes them go for that weird stuff? Are they crazy?
Mary: They're sick. This world is overflowing with millions of sexual freaks.
Paul: We're so lucky to have found each other.

Mary: I think it's a good idea.
Paul: What's a good idea?
Mary: Putting in new locks. We don't want people wandering in when we're - bopping perverts.

Mary: I think I should get dressed now.
Raoul Mendoza: You should be dressed - but only in the most beautiful furs. The finest silk next to your fine body.
Mary: I have to get up.
Raoul Mendoza: You should have servants to massage you and pamper you. A sexy woman like you should always be relaxed. Like a beautiful - rich - purring cat.
Mary: The lights. Turn out the lights.

Mary: Where's Paul?
Drunk Swinger: He's busy with the Marquis de Sade, so I thought I'd get it on with you. What do you say?
Mary: No, thank you.
Drunk Swinger: No thank you? Is that all you're gonna say? You not even gonna help my ego by telling me you got a weird *pussy* disease?

Mary: I just don't know why they let swingers in the building.
Paul: Because they're so transient, that's why. They're always pairing up and switching off and moving in and moving out and the landlords get to raise the rent every 10 minutes.
Mary: Sexual liberation. Just look what it's brought us.

Mr. Baker - the Horny Patient: Is this you? "Doris the Dominatrix"?
Mary: That's right, buster. And I'm way out of your league. So, stay away from me, or I'll hit you with my whip!
Mr. Baker - the Horny Patient: I thought you were a lot more hip than you let on.

Paul: She's some madwoman who attacks people with a whip. She was at that swingers party.
Mary: She gave you her card?
Paul: She gave everybody her card.
Mary: That's disgusting.
Paul: Apparently, a lot of swingers enjoy that sort of thing.
Mary: I don't mind a *little* hugging and kissing. But that...

Mary: Do you realize that we have made almost a thousand dollars in two days, tax-free?
Paul: Just by - killing people.
Mary: Horrible, sex-crazed maniacs that nobody in the world would miss. I wonder how much we could make if we really put our minds to it.