The Beach Girls

Although this sex comedy was released in 1982, it's really more of a 1970's flick in that it isn't about a bunch of geeky teenagers trying to lose their virginity, and it has a refreshingly politically incorrect attitude toward illegal drugs that is more typical of the late 70's Cheech and Chong era than the "Just Say No" Reagan era. The plot, to use the term loosely, involves a beautiful young college student who invites her two sexy girlfriends to her uncle's beach house. The uninhibited friends "Ginger" and "Ducky" quickly turn the place into a hedonist playground. But then the uncle (Adam Rourke) shows up and threatens to put the kibosh on the whole thing, so the two mischievous lasses BOTH seduce him. There's also a lame subplot about a group of marijuana smugglers trying to elude a coast guard patrol, led by "Captain Bly" (this is the sound of me forgetting to laugh), so they have to drop their "cargo" and, of course, it ends up on the beach where the girls find it.

This movie is pretty damn stupid, and it offers such witty fun as fist-fight between offensive racial stereotypes (a horny Mexican gardener and an incoherent Japanese chauffeur). The main protagonist, Debra Blee, is absolutely beautiful, even if she fails to lose her virginity, get naked, or even put on a bikini. There's plenty of nudity, however, most notably from former Playboy Playmate Jeanna Tomasino, who if I could describe with one adjective, it would be "boner-inducing" (although I don't think that's an adjective). Adam Rourke was once in real movies like "Psych Out" and "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry", but he was obviously collecting a nice paycheck here, and he got to frolic around with naked nubiles half his age--nice work if you can get it. I'd recommend this movie if you see it the way I did--it comes on TV and you're too drunk or lazy to change the channel--but don't go too far out of your way.

The acting in this beach romp feast is not to be compared with the likes of Citizen Kane, more likely to that of Hard Bodies 1&2. This movie would by most standards be regarded as a "B" movie, but even at that it is a easy viewing movie, there's no political messages, no stands for anything, just some parody, slap-stick and a little skin. If you feel this movie may not be mentally stimulating enough, sit back,relax and mellow out for a little laughs and silliness.

I saw a trailer for THE BEACH GIRLS while I was working my way through BCI Eclipse' Drive-in Cult Classics 1, 2, 3, and 4 (featuring Crown International Pictures releases) on DVD.

In this offering, BCI paired THE BEACH GIRLS with "Coach" as a "Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature." Sex, drugs, alcohol, post-graduation party; and, drug smugglers… this film holds nothing back! This movie is everything "American Pie" wanted to be (but without the pastry abuse!)

Like other Crown International Pictures features, THE BEACH GIRLS packs a lot of story in a very short time. It is almost a cross between "Malibu Beach" and, "Weekend with the Babysitter." THE BEACH GIRLS features a group of young people graduating from high school into a way of life where sex and drugs are widespread, without any moral consequences.

In the opening scene, when we first meet Sarah, we can see that Debra Blee really has a "Jane March kind of vibe going on" (think "Color of Night"); and, sense the simmering sexual undercurrent that lies beneath the bookish exterior, which is the whole point of the movie.

As for the supporting cast, Bert Rosario, as the horny gardener, steals every scene he is in – he is hilarious, with some of the best physical comedy and sight gags in the film! The fight between Wang and the gardener was a scream.

The score features fun beach music and driving rock ballads.

A nice flashback to the fictionalized version of the early 80s.

The highest grossing film of 1982 was saccharine-sweet family sci-fi classic E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, but how many sexy young hotties did it feature? None, that's how many (I'm sorry but Drew Barrymore and Erika Eleniak were far TOO young to count, and Dee Wallace was too old). On the other hand, The Beach Girls is chock full of pert naked and semi-naked cuties making it hands down the superior film in terms of gratuitous T&A. In your face Spielberg!

In fact, of all of the teenage sex comedies I've seen from the 80s, The Beach Girls has got to be one of the finest in terms of sheer quantity and quality of breasts, the number of scorching hot chicks willing to whip off their tops easily compensating for the film's dumb plot and desperate humour. The driving force behind this constant tirade of topless totty are best pals Ginger and Ducky (beautiful blonde Val Kline and brunette babe Jeana Keough) who visit their friend Sarah (Debra Blee) at her Uncle Carl's swanky beach property with the aim of partying hard all summer. Before long, there's a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals, although prudish Sarah is reluctant to join in the fun, keeping her plentiful assets under cover much to the frustration of hunky drifter Scott (James Daughton).

The wild partying looks set to end earlier than planned when Uncle Carl arrives home unexpectedly after a tip off from nosy neighbour Mrs. Brinker (Mary Jo Catlett); however, Ginger and Ducky aren't about to give in without a fight and convince Carl to see things their way by seducing the lucky bloke. Another party is soon under way, and proves to be an even wilder affair than before thanks to the discovery of several bin liners full of weed washed up on the beach (having been dumped in a hurry by incompetent drug smuggler Captain Jack). Under the relaxing influence of the pot, and with more than a little encouragement from her friends, Sarah eventually sees the error of her ways, realises that life is too short to have inhibitions, and learns to have fun—by popping her top off to reveal her awesome rack and getting it on with a very lucky Scott on the beach. Don't you just love a film that comes with a valuable life lesson?

This a lot of mindless fun, but don't make the mistake of thinking that all The Beach Girls has to offer is non-stop childish smut and teenage debauchery, 'cos you would be wrong: in addition to all the nudity and drug-related humour, the film also offers discerning viewers some truly surreal moments (a strangely out-of-place food fight gag and a talking bag of pot being quite bizarre), a silly secondary plot-thread featuring a bumbling coast-guard crew led by a captain who talks like Humphrey Bogart, a bit of frisbee action (admittedly from a woman with big tits), and Carl's Mexican gardener fighting his fiancé's Japanese chauffeur in a mud pit. So much more entertaining than a wrinkly alien and a flying bike, don't cha think?

7.5 out of 10, rounded up to 8 for IMDb for the lovely Debra Blee, who reminded me a little bit of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

I first saw this movie on late-night Cinemax when I was about fourteen years old. It has become a cult classic in my book. I showed it to all my friends after taping it. It is an absolute hoot! It's so bad that it is absolutely hilarious! The story: Virginial Sarah (Deborah Blee, who went on to the triumphant "Hamburger: The Motion Picture") goes to spend the summer at her Uncle Carl's beach house. Sarah has invited two friends to join her for the summer: Loose hussies Ducky (Jenna Thomasina, a PLAYBOY playmate of the year) and Ginger (bleach-blonde Val Kline, who seems to have vanished.) Much to the disapproval of Sarah, Ginger & Ducky turn Uncle Carl's beach house into a wild, no-holds-barred sex, drugs, and alcohol orgy. When Uncle Carl arrives unexpectedly, he demands that the party stop, but topless Ginger and Ducky ply him with booze and marijuana, and soon Uncle Carl joins in the party. Meanwhile, drug smugglers being chased by the Coast Guard dump dozens of garbage bags filled with pot into the ocean, and the bags float up in front of Uncle Carl's. What follows is a wild pot party, with the Coast Guard raiding Uncle Carl's and building a bonfire with all of the confiscated weed. Everybody gets deleriously high. That's the movie! I could list some truly classic lines but there's not enough space. Trust me...this is funny, funny, funny...in a good/bad sort of way. Get your hands on it if you can! Great party flick!