10 Violent Women

A troupe of young ladies get fed up with their jobs and a moronic, grunting-pig co-worker, and decide to embark on a life of crime. Pulling off the theft of roughly $1,000,000 worth of jewels, they turn to a fence to try to get rid of the gems. But he insists on a trade instead of a cash deal, and they end up with a few bags worth of heroin. Later, the leader of the gang drunkenly tries to unload the drugs - but the buyers turn out to be undercover cops! Thus, the whole gang ends up in stir, where after repeated abuse from the head guard (Georgia Morgan), they plot an escape.

"Ten Violent Women" is one of those trash films that tries to have it both ways, acting as both exploitation and female empowerment. It runs through its paces adequately, but is of no distinction. Making up for the lack of finesse displayed by filmmaker Ted V. Mikels is a largely female cast who deliver enthusiastic (if not particularly competent) performances. The antagonists are especially noteworthy, with Morgan as the kind of authority figure who lusts after some of her inmates and is willing to do favors provided the inmates accommodate her. Also amusing is the very butch Jane Farnsworth as a Bible-thumping guard. Mikels himself appears on screen in a brief supporting role as the sleazy fence, whose comeuppance involves being stomped to death. Sally Alice Gamble is a hoot as the fierce but none-too-bright Sheila, the aforementioned chief instigator.

Exceedingly silly, with dopey chapter headings ("The Chase Begins....."), a sheik character who wants to get back his precious scarab, overbearing stock music, poor lighting, a dearth of true nudity, and so-so pacing. But the bottom line is that if you just can't get enough of female crime flicks, or women in prison features, you may be forgiving of the flaws with this thing.

Five out of 10.

TEN VIOLENT WOMEN is a film that starts off as an all-female action movie before turning into a women-in-prison flick around the halfway mark. Whichever way you look at it, it's an awful film, which seems to be the norm for cult director Ted V. Mikels whose terrible BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE-DEVILS I had the misfortune to sit through just last week. It's poorly shot throughout on cheap-looking cameras which shoot footage that is far too dark for the most part.

In any case, TEN VIOLENT WOMEN is an inane film with little plot and some truly terrible acting to behold. A group of women go around committing various robberies and the like before they're busted and sent to a sleazy prison. At this point all of the prison film clichés come out, like the cat fights, the butch guards, and the sadistic warden. Mikels throws a handful of grubby underwear and later topless scenes into his film in a bid to draw in the exploitation crowd, but as with BLOOD ORGY, this is surprisingly tame viewing. It's also a rubbish film with practically no redeeming values whatsoever.

There are plenty of directors who could make a crime comedy/women in prison movie as bad as "10 Violent Women," but only Ted V. Mikels could make it a chore to watch.

The titular women (initially eight, not 10) are working as gold miners (seriously) at the movie's opening, but when the one man on the crew detonates some dynamite and almost kills one of the women, they decide, naturally, to turn to crime—"with class"—for easy money. So they rob a jewelry store, though for all their talk of wanting easy money their plan is unnecessarily complex, involving decoys, disguises and one working on the inside (I think; the storytelling is only slightly less murky than the lighting). Usually when robberies have such elaborate set-ups the goal is to make off with the loot without the victim realizing she or he has been ripped off until the thieves are long gone. But apparently that's too stealthy for our violent women, so they end up holding the store owner up at gunpoint anyway, taking his "assistant" (who may—or may not—be one of the violent women) hostage. They ditch their wigs and stolen limo in an alley then, after stopping in a park for a lame water gun fight, our women head for Vegas to fence the stolen goods. Sheila (Sally Alice Gamble) is the one who seems to have some connections, in that she knows a guy who sorta knows another guy, so she arranges to sell the stolen jewels to Leo (Mr. Mikels himself, making a much better impression as an actor than director). When Leo tries to pay the women in bags of cocaine, they attack him and leave with the jewels and cocaine—but not before Sheila finishes him off by stomping her high heeled shoe into his chest.

Besides being the movie's high point, the death by high heels scene is the demarcation line when "10 Violent Women" goes from "so bad it might actually be kind of fun" to "Oh, God, when will this thing be over?" Sheila is the older one of the group (one online reviewer accurately described her as looking like Mrs. Roper on "Three's Company") but she's not the smartest. After getting blitzed on tequila, she approaches two men in a bar and asks if they'd be interested in buying the coke, even though it's so obvious they're cops they might as well be in uniform. In short order: Sheila is killed when resisting arrest, three more girls escape and the remaining four end up in prison, where they join forces with two inmates (so I guess it does add up to 10 violent women after all). The prison sequence should be where we find the movie's moneyshots. But in "10 Violent Women," it's when it becomes a tedious bore, skimping on all the WIP staples: nudity, sex and violence. Only Georgia Morgan as the obligatory sadistic lesbian warden makes much of an impression. A mature woman with a blond pompadour, dragon lady nails and a cigarette-cured rasp, Morgan delivers the movie's best performance and would have been a perfect addition to John Waters' stable of actors. Unfortunately for her, "10 Violent Women" is Morgan's only movie.

Predictably the girls escape, their plan so easily executed you kind of wonder why no one tried breaking out sooner. The movie ends as stupidly as it began, with a twist that's only slightly less ludicrous than a group of women dressed as "Charlie's Angels" rejects working as gold miners in the 1970s.

It wouldn't have taken much to make "10 Violent Women" watchable: replacing a few members of the cast, if not for acting ability then for physical attributes (most of the women are fairly average looking); better lighting (or even just lighting); and more—a lot more—sex, nudity and violence. Some character development and imaginative storytelling would be a nice touch, too. Instead, "10 Violent Women" is a slog, its primary redeeming feature being retroactively making Mikels' earlier work ("Girl in Gold Boots," "The Doll Squad") seem artfully crafted by comparison.

In the history of cinema, you'd have a tough time thinking of a worse filmmaker than Ted Mikels. Although Ed Wood Jr. has gotten a lot of attention by creating abominable (yet sadly funny) films like "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Glen or Glenda", Mikels' record of schlock films is far more impressive (is that the right word?)--with such notable crap films as "The Corpse Grinders", "The Worm Eaters", "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", "The Astro-Zombies", "Girl in the Gold Boots" (currently on IMDb's Bottom 100 list) and "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice" to his credit (or, discredit). And, this list is only a smattering of the sort of crap Mikels has created and continues to create to this day.

Oddly, however, although I admit that his films are horrible in every way, I make it a point to watch them whenever I can. This is because I am a glutton for punishment and occasionally like laughing at an inept and stupid film. Some of this is because I often watch and review art films, foreign movies and the like--and sometimes I just need a break (especially since some of these can be depressing or pretentious). And, Mikels films are sure a far cry from the norm!!! Eight lady miners (who look NOTHING like miners) decide that this sort of work isn't for them, so they decide to devote themselves to a life of crime. However, things don't go well and they are sent to prison--where there is, naturally, a sadistic girl-lovin' guard in charge (a standard cliché for bad movie makers during the 70s and early 80s). What happens next is for you to discover for yourself....if you can stomach it!

Like any of Mikels' masterpieces, this one features bad acting, an annoying and very invasive soundtrack, inept direction and nothing to recommend it. Unlike some of Mikels' earlier films, this one has a bit of nudity and rough language but unlike his most recent films, it at least appears to have been filmed with a real movie camera (he's taken to using what looks like an iPhone or super-cheap home movie camera for his more recent films). And, unless you like terrible films, there's nothing to recommend this one...nothing. A wonderful example of how bad Mikels can be but not a particularly fun movie to watch.

By the way, I actually found one Mikels film that was, inexplicably, pretty good. One of his earliest films, "Black Klansman", is actually well done and make you wonder how Mikels' films got progressively worse instead of progressively better!

There's something liberating about watching a movie with many scenes so dark you can't tell what's happening. You get to make up your own movie. And brother let me tell you no matter how terrible your idea is, it's miles better than this trash. It's not all dark though. There are dimly lit scenes where you can tell what's going on. Savor these moments. Memorize each person's clothing as that will be the only way you can tell them apart when the darkness returns. The most well-lit scenes take place outside. Perhaps the sun should receive a lighting credit. As with every Ted Mikels movie, there's a little bit of cheesecake. But unless you're really hard up its nothing to get hot & bothered over. Avoid this crapper.