Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

This film apparently is one of the best-kept secrets of 80s cinema, a movie that was born to be a cult hit. The film focuses on an orphaned teen(Diane Lane)who hits the road with her three girl rock group the Stains as opening acts for an over-the-hill glam rock group and an up-and-coming British new wave/punk outfit. When the glam rock group bows out due to the death of their drummer(who is mourned by his several common-law wives and illegitimate children), the Stains and the other group slog on alone, with Lane and her group quickly grabbing the spotlight through a series of gimmicky stunts and gaining media notoriety(for one, the girls all dye white skunk-like stripes down the middle of their heads, causing a new teenybopper trend). The film looks down the long, thin line that separates fame from notoriety, a line that has grown increasingly blurred in the past 20 years. We see the way the media latches on to these girls and their antics, making them celebrities over night, and unmaking them just as quickly. But not to fear, for the girls latch on to a new medium, the rock video, and find themselves the fame they deserve.

It's no accident that this movie came out the same year that M-TV premiered, because a lot of the fears and concerns that M-TV generated(some of them still valid)are explored. Is rock that relies on the visual image really rock? Is rock's spirit diluted or prostituted by videos? In an era where we watch television shows based on a corporate entity's quest to "create" a pop group, the questions are valid ones. I saw this movie on VH-1 a couple of years ago, and now regret not taping it. Supposedly it was labelled unreleasable and never made it to the theatres, and has yet to appear on video. Pity, because there's much to like--and discuss--that is still relevant today.

This movie is awesome. I first saw this film in 1983 when i was 15 on a TV show called "Night Flight" (anybody remember it?), fell head over heels in love w/ teenage Diane Lane & have never forgotten the impact this film made on me & watching it recently brought back many memories. I have been looking for this film for 20yrs & i finally found a copy! It basically tells a very cynical & realistic tale totally bashing the music industry. Young female nobody has ambition to be somebody, forms a band called The Stains with her cousins (one, a very young Laura Dern), goes on the unglamorous rough & lonely road with 2 other very chauvinistic rival male bands--a has-been-on-its-last-legs headliner & an up & coming punk band. Fee Waybill of the Tubes is great as the has-been & Paul Cook of The Sex Pistols has another great role as the lead singer of the punk band. BTW, the songs in this movie are very good & very catchy---you will find yourself singing "We're the Professionals!" for days! As the girls rise to the top they're punk hair, clothes & attitude become a symbol of young female power & all the rage with young girls everywhere. they're slogan "We Don't Put Out" becomes the anthem of girl power that sweeps the nation. They're rise to the top is squashed by the backstabbing music industry & the conservative male dominated American media. The fluffy MTV styled video at the end is the icing on the cake! This movie is awesome because it takes on so many issues without ever losing the central story of this film or becoming cheesy or preachy. They really don't make movies like this anymore & I can say that this film is an unequivocal classic with Diane Lane putting on the performance of her life. wow! what an actress. Even the so-called "indie" films of today try too hard to be "shocking" & just end up being predictable & exploitative, never coming close to the realistic telling-it-like-it-is nature of this film. The thing I don't understand is why this film is never shown & why its never mentioned. I hear there is a "Making of Ladies & Gents The Fabulous Stains" with all the actors talking about this film that i would LOVE to get. This movie was also a huge inspiration to Courtney Love I've also heard. Check this film out if you can find it!!!!

Unreleased theatrical feature financed by Paramount was once an '80s staple on the USA network (in their weekend "Night Flight" movie slot). It's a satirical comedy-drama with music which finds angry, rebellious teen Diane Lane caught by reality-TV cameras getting fired from a fast food restaurant; soon, she, her sister, and a cousin hit the road with their barely-rehearsed punk band and find failure, success, unintended exploitation, and life's little ironies outside of their blue-collar town. Reminiscent of the later "This is Spinal Tap", the film has a sense of humor far more sly, less forced and obvious. Lane is so tough at first, one doesn't know how to respond to her (she pushes everyone away); somewhere down the line she begins to soften and becomes more flexible, and you see the desperation underneath her scowl--you see her pathos just once, when she gives the bus-driver money for his brother (a subtle scene that speaks volumes). Harsh in both its writing and directing, unblinking in its teenage hostility, the film still manages to be funny (intentionally so) and with a cutting edge; it's like a breath of fresh air to the disenfranchised. *** from ****

This film deserved a better shot at finding an audience than it got from its studio, which basically declared it unreleasable and threw it away. To be sure, it's not for ALL tastes but it's WAY better than a lot of the teen-oriented dreck that made millions in the 80s..Basically the story of the rise and fall of a street-wise girl (Diane Lane) and her punk rock band, the film has moments of satire and drama that ring remarkably true, even in this day and age. This is the only other film I know of directed by famed Los Angeles music producer Lou Adler (his other was the first Cheech & Chong monster hit "Up In Smoke")....this film has the same loose, anything-goes style but Adler shows that he works well with actors, getting fresh and inspired performaces all around. The only print seen for years of this film has been on USA Network's "Up All Night" and it was ruthlessly edited. I'd like to see this one show up on a premium channel like Cinemax or Showtime so I could see it completely uncut (since the chances of seeing it released on video are no doubt slim to none)

Excellent little rock-and-roll satire. A teenage Diane Lane stars as a young woman who hates her dead-end life. Along with her sister and cousin (Laura Dern), she cons her way onto a tour bus as the nonexistent band The Stains. The gals can't play a lick, but get themselves on the local news, and they ignite like a meteorite - and come crashing to Earth just as fast. It's a biting little picture, and Lane shines brightly in the lead. Ray Winstone co-stars as the lead singer of a British punk band with whom the Stains tour. The movie was barely released when it was made, but it became a cult favorite later on through frequent airings on the USA cable network.