Richard Pryor credited as playing...
Joe Braxton
- Joe Braxton: [after forcing himself to give up his candy bar to the warehouse guard dog] Shit! There goes my goddamn dinner.
- Marvin: There's a cop over there, man.
- Joe Braxton: That ain't no cop!
- Marvin: How do you know?
- Joe Braxton: He don't piss like no cop.
- Samantha: [Samantha has been banging on the window to get a sleeping Joe's attention] Linda's got the bathroom locked up and Dakota has to go pee.
- Joe Braxton: [Groggily] Yeah. Right.
- Samantha: [Bangs on window] Mr. Braxton, wake up!
- Joe Braxton: Take her to the bathroom in the woods. Bears pee in the woods.
- Samantha: I'm not going into the woods. There's snakes in the woods!
- Joe Braxton: Good. That's wonderful.
- [Samantha bangs on the window, again]
- Joe Braxton: What?
- Samantha: Dakota has to go pee!
- Joe Braxton: Let the bear pee in your pocket! Leave me alone!
- [Samantha bangs on the bus window again]
- Joe Braxton: Okay! Okay! You, me, and Dakota. We go pee.
- Donald: [Donald has arrived to the farmhouse with the police] All right, Braxton, this is it. Officer this man is in violation of his parole. I'm his parole officer and I'm taking him, this woman, and these brats back to Philadelphia!
- Alfred Schuyler: What's going on here?
- Donald: You heard me! I'm taking these people back to Philadelphia!
- Vivian Perry: Do you have a warrant for my arrest?
- Alfred Schuyler: [to Donald] Well?
- Donald: No.
- Vivian Perry: I'm not going back.
- Alfred Schuyler: She's staying.
- Alfred Schuyler: And who the hell are you?
- Cop: This is Mr. Schulyer, our town mayor.
- Donald: All right, look. This woman has violated, at least, 20 federal statutes. Number one: kidnapping...
- Alfred Schuyler: You want a legal battle?
- Donald: All right, I'm gonna get on the phone! I'm gonna get a warrant for his arrest, for her arrest...
- Alfred Schuyler: Now, hold on a minute, friend. Before you get off the phone, all these children will be registered in this state and I'm having the farm legally transferred to Miss Perry in her name with a large enough loan to ensure that she can operate it properly.
- [the kids start cheering]
- Donald: But this man is still under my jurisdiction!
- Joe Braxton: Donald. Take it easy, man. I'll go back with you.
- Vivian Perry: Why are they in the closet and why are you half-dressed in here?
- Joe Braxton: It's, uh, Halloween?
- Vivian Perry: Listen, we got an emergency. three of the kids just run off.
- Joe Braxton: Great! Maybe the rest of them will run away.
- Joe Braxton: [Joe notices Harold in the driver's seat on the bus] Get outta my seat, man!
- Harold: I can drive. Tell him I want to drive.
- Linda: [to Joe] Harold loves to drive. He can...
- Joe Braxton: I don't care! Drive your ass to the back of the bus. Do that!
- Joe Braxton: [the kids have locked themselves in the closet of their hotel room] If you don't give me back my pants, I'm killing Dakota!
- Joe Braxton: [yelling at the kids after they learned of the possible farm loss and are whining amongst themselves] Shut up!
- Ernesto: [to Joe] Go take a hike!
- Joe Braxton: [smacks him across the face hard enough to knock him down] Shut up!