Junior

JUNIOR is the story of two perfectly-made-up, super model "inmates", named K. C. and Jo (Suzanne DeLaurentis and Linda Singer) and their adventures after getting out of prison.

After suffering and escaping the travails of their fiendish pimp's assault, K. C. and Jo wind up under siege by Neanderthal hillbillies.

In between attacks, they find time for being latched onto by leeches, romanced by a local Romeo, and nude sunbathing.

JUNIOR is a ludicrous, developmentally stalled "thriller" from the glorious 1980's. The heinous hicks are terribly, awesomely portrayed, helping to turn this mess into an idiot classic!

The title character's (Jeremy Ratchford) pop-eyed lunacy is unsurpassed! Then, there's "mama" the mute-man-in-a-wig matriarch of the slimy clan. A total hoot!

The best character by far is K. C. with her Tawny Kitaen mane. She's also the only one who seems to have a pulse, and acting ability.

For this movie it's important to be sufficiently inebriated. Even then, you'll either laugh, cry, or smack your brain with a pipe wrench over this one...

I'm not at all familiar with the hicksploitation genre outside of its out and out horror entries, so Hot Water was a bit of an education for me. It definitely comes under the mantle of horror mind, but it isn't the slasher or TCM clone it was marketed as, more a fun and trashy, even suspenseful hicks plus city gals equals bad times tale. Hookers KC and Jo get released from jail and find themselves rich after a run in with their crazy aggressive pimp. They decide to head out and start a new life, which they plan to do by setting up a marina in a backwater town, not counting on despicable locals, especially a retarded momma's boy by the name of Junior, who proves to make their stay pretty stressful, as well as the mean local sheriff. I was a little bothered by the pairs lack of logic here, I'm all for female empowerment and all that chit and KC and Jo make for highly appealing heroines, but I can't see anyone other than the most bull headed no brain trying to set up shop in a territory where just three people like them, as opposed to literally everyone else. Still, their unbelievable stubbornness marks them out as appealingly spunky and its good to see a film like this where the female leads have proverbial balls from the get go. The comely Suzanne DeLaurentiis (daughter of Dino?) is a blast as the tough and brassy KC, though I would have liked her even more had she not been sporting brunette hair as opposed to her seemingly natural red, since as we all know redheads are awesome to the max. Linda Singer is a nice contrast as the blonde and ditzy Jo with an amusing habit of talking about movies at relevant but inopportune moments and they have a fun chemistry, supported by Michael McKeever and Cotton Mather as their charming beaus. On the villainous side of things Jeremy Ratchford is effectively sleazy and unpleasant as Junior, packing a good lumbering menace, while Ken Roberts is suitably officious and scummy as the sheriff. The smart pace and build up of events is what really gives this one a kick though, things start with unwanted intrusion but grow to attempted rape, fish-hook violence, a terrific chainsaw attack and verbal abuse a-plenty amongst other things, lots of fun stuff here and a bodacious, surprisingly intense finale. The big downside is that there really isn't much in the way of bloodshed here, there are a few bits where full on brutality would have really worked but it just isn't there (although what is there was still enough to make the astoundingly cretinous BBFC of 1986 cut this one by nearly ten minutes for its UK video release. There's a bit of nudity though, which is pretty rad as the stars are fine. Overall this is real solid stuff, sweet locations, decent amount of the good stuff, could have packed more punch but still cool, check it out says I.

The rating 5/10, which I awarded to "Junior", is far too generous. I'm well aware of that. And yet, I can't help being mild for this insane and severely inept piece of Canuxploitation! The film is a bit of a mishmash between "Porky's", "I Spit on your Grave" and "Psycho". Interesting combo, to say the least, but it roughly just translates as juvenile (but welcome) nudity, tough chicks extracting vengeance, and a driveling maniac with a mommy complex. Although entirely filmed in ice cold Québec, the story supposedly takes place in the deep South. Two buxom babes, freshly released from prison, settle themselves in a lakeside town where seemingly only male hillbillies live. The craziest redneck of the bunch is named Junior, and he makes it his mission to terrorize the girls so that he can impress his mother. The scenes with "momma" form the most hilarious highlights of the film. She just sits there, on her porch, with a pair of binoculars in her hands and cheers for his idiot son from a distance. Momma can't be seen properly, but I strongly suspect she's played by a male actor, probably because the director couldn't find an old lady crazy enough to appear in his film. She/he isn't listed in the credits, neither. Despite the buzzing chainsaw on the VHS-cover, "Junior" doesn't contain much gore, suspense or action. Gratuitous sleaze, on the other hand, there is plenty! And jolly good, brainless fun as well.

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Hot Water aka Junior; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 1.25 Direction: 1.00 Pace: 0.75 Acting: 1.25 Enjoyment: 1.00

TOTAL: 5.25 out of 10.00.

In Hot Water, Junior is a man-child with a problem similar to Norman Bates. His Mother. The worrisome thing is Junior's mommy is still alive and as mad as a hatter suffering from vestiphobia on Ladies' Day at Royal Ascot. She's only too happy to cheer him on when he wants revenge, all too happy to whisper in his ear to instruct him. Some mothers are just bad for their sons.

John Maxwell and Don Carmody deliver a slasher flick with a twist. Two ex-cons, KC and Joe, fresh out of the women's pen, have decided to make a new start and go straight. They've bought a lakeside property hoping to turn it into a profitable business and home. Luckily for the viewers looking for a Dark Thriller, it's not long before the women realise their dreams will be tougher to achieve than they originally planned. For one, it would appear that their nearest neighbour, Junior, is nuttier than a coconut tree - and not in a funny way either. The first meeting they have with Junior and his cohorts sees Joe turned upside down and dangled over a whirring outboard motor propellor. KC comes to the damsel's rescue with her trusty shotgun. Only to have the Sheriff step out from the shadows to announce that he's also Junior's friend. Talk about bad luck; the local psycho has friends in high places. But this is only the beginning of the girl's troubles. Will they win the day, or will Junior and his mates rule the roost? As it goes, the story isn't too terrible. Maxwell and Carmody could've enriched their characters a tad more. Sadly, there's no real depth to them. The mysterious stranger, Luke, who lives on the houseboat, is a perfect example. There's not much to his character, and that works to build his mystique. But it's not enough to make the viewers relate to him. Even a vague backstory showing his personality better would pull the audience into his story and the film more: You need to get the viewer to invest themselves into the tale a little. Without that investment, the story becomes dull. And that's the case here. No matter what happens to KC & Joe, or anybody else in the story, you don't care. In the finale, you find that you're indifferent to the outcome. You're not cheering for the heroines' survival. And that's an awful thing for this type of picture.

Sadly, Jim Hanley wasn't up to capturing this story on film. His directorial style is lacking. There are copious scenes that merited better, starting with the propellor torture of Joe. The set needed to be better lit because you hardly make out the whirring prop. The scene is supposed to send chills down the viewers' spine in the apprehension of a messy kill. However, the killing machine's veiled in shadow, making the threat less intimidating to the viewer. Then there's a motorboat chase on the lake. Sadly, it comes across as less than thrilling and action-packed. It's more like a damp squib at a funereal convention. It's trying to be funny, but the attendants are waiting to bury it forever - dead or alive. And there are plenty more missed opportunities to empower the film. Though, I do have to state the ending sequence is nearly there. It comes across better than the others, and the final twist helps. One reason many sections fail to envigorate the viewers' emotions is Hanley's slow pacing. This failure is particularly noticeable in the boat chase. The excitement needed ramping up, as did the speed of his cuts and splices. The point-and-shoot style he employs with the meandering tempo does nothing but make the chase tiresome.

Surprisingly, the cast is okay. Two actors give the impression of being professionals and not some amateurs looking for a break; Jeremy Ratchford, who plays Junior and Ken Roberts, who portrays the Sherriff. These two guys made the movie more watchable for me.

Hot Water isn't a movie I'd quickly recommend. It's average to the extreme and could've been much better. But if you see it on a streaming service for free and you're at a loose end for an hour or so, feel free to check it out. It should pass the time.

Junior, after you've sorted out those loose ladies, fetch my IMDb list - Killer Thriller Chillers, to see where I ranked Hot Water.

Take Care & Stay Well.

The main review on this page says it's a wannabe slasher. Well it's not a slasher. And I don't think it ever intended to be. Just clearly a film that was marketed as one because they didn't know which way to pigeon hole it. Just as combat shock was marketed as a war movie when actually its a gritty depiction of post traumatic stress disorder and mental illness. Granted this movie does have some hokey and schlocky moments (the mother and some genuine under reaction in a few scenes) But I think there is more going on here than just another mindless Texas chainsaw rip off.

I'll focus in a on a few key points as to why I think this is a cut above.

First off the strong female leads. These two girls are bad ass and don't take sh*t from anyone.

The building tension though out the film. From the first encounter the girls have with junior and his posse you can tell they are in over their heads. As juniors pranks escalate in cruelty the level headed girls start to unravel. You constantly see people over stepping their boundaries, coming into the girls house, chasing them around on boats, calling them every name under the sun. It builds a tension right into the sh*t kicking climax.

The whole fish out of water scenario. As much as this film may borrow from I spit on your grave, Texas chainsaw and psycho it also has elements of deliverance and straw dogs. It's really an interesting mix.

Don't let the other reviews fool you. Sure some of the dialog is cheesy and you have to suspend belief in a few scenes but it's a solid flick with some genuinely likable and despicable characters. Not just another hack n slash gore fest (which I also love) but there's more too it.

I'd say definitely check it out